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Title: The One With The Big Misunderstanding
Author:
Pairing: TimberNick
Part: 1/1
Rating: NC-17
Series: The One Series
Disclaimer: Fiction for entertainment purposes. Not to be intended as truth. I make no claims on the sexualities of any of the mentioned people.
Warnings: Slash warning.
Notes: This is in response to something I read in US Weekly. They were asking celebrities when they lost their virginity and Justin said that he’d ‘been doing this since he was 15’ it’s something he enjoys and is good at ... Or something along those lines. Then I was watching NSYNC’s first television special from 1999 and he did a hip thrust and the look of concentration on his face was so intense that I thought.. Oh my god, he’d already been having sex for like, three years at this point ... YIKES. So yeah, this resulted.

~*~*~*~

Justin’s heart was beating rapidly. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to be eavesdropping, in fact his mother had warned him that if he continued to listen to private conversations that it would only end up hurting him in the long run. At the time, Justin had chalked it up to his mother just doing what mothers do, spouting words of wisdom and trying to exercise an undeniable power over their children. But now, now as he listened to Joey and Chris snicker and talk without knowing he was there, Justin wanted to be sick. Or just scream. Or cry then scream and then go and break something. Expensive. And big. And heavy. And then he wanted to go and cry again.

He must have made a sound because Justin watched Joey and Chris look up quickly, as if getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. It wasn't until Joey saw the top of Justin’s curls behind the counter that the look of surprise and fear turned into a smile and a look of relief. Joey wasn’t supposed to be using the phone, especially to be calling long distance, and especially not to the people he was calling since they were supposed to technically be fighting with them. Hating them.

"Jup, you can come out now," Joey said with a chuckle. Justin held his breath and closed his eyes tight, trying to disappear. He heard Chris sigh in relief before chuckling too.

"We can still see the ‘fro J," Chris pointed out as he tossed a wadded up paper ball in Justin’s direction.

Rather than speak, Justin tossed the paper ball back, making Joey and Chris laugh harder. "No one’s here," Justin said after a few minutes. It was clear that the other two weren’t going to move, but they hadn’t resumed their conversation. "Keep talking, no one else is here."

"J, don’t be a moron, just get over here."

Justin poked his head up so that the top of his forehead and his eyes were visible. He saw Joey and Chris leaning against the counter casually, smiling at him with amused expressions on their faces. Joey nodded, as if to agree with Chris’ invitation. Grudgingly, and a little embarrassed, Justin stood up to full height and walked to where his two best friends were hanging out.

"Didn’t your mama teach you not to sneak around and listen to peoples conversations?" Chris said patiently. He snickered as Justin’s lower lip protruded out in a perfectly practiced pout.

"I wasn’t sneaking around."

Joey raised an eyebrow. "You weren’t?"

"Not intentionally. I was there before ya’ll came in here and you just started talking," Justin said honestly. He could have made his presence known, but they hadn’t been concerned enough to check to make sure they were alone, so he wasn’t going to tell them he was there. And really, more times than not they always talked around him anyways. He never got to be a part of the ‘good’ conversations because they were always afraid that he would run and tell his mama everything. Just because he had once, not realizing that parents were definitely not supposed to know they were sneaking out, and they were all grounded for a week, even Chris who was definitely too old to be grounded. So since then, he was never trusted with anything that needed to be kept a secret.

And that sucked. Sucked because Lance could be trusted more than he could, and that left him out of everything. Just him.

"You could have said something," Joey pointed out.

Justin shrugged. He refused to look them in the eyes. Not only because they’d caught him snooping and eavesdropping, but because they knew he’d heard everything that they’d been talking about. EVERYTHING, and a lot of it was private. Super private stuff that even without them telling him was secret and confidential, he knew it was. And he also knew that in just a few seconds, they would slowly, carefully and in explicit detail, remind him of that fact. Repeatedly.

"I know."

"This doesn’t go any further than this room," Chris warned. His tone was kind, but with a subtle sharpness. If Justin hadn’t caught the note of warning in it, the gleam in Chris’ eyes would have said it all. Justin nodded solemnly.

"I know."

"He’s serious, J," Joey said firmly. "None of that whole, running to your mama, shit."

Justin growled and rolled his eyes. "Just once. Just once and no one will let me forget it."

Chris and Joey gave Justin a look and he blushed and averted his eyes.

"I promise."

Justin watched Chris and Joey exchange a look, holding a silent conversation between them. They both nodded and smiled, turning that smile to Justin.

"So, do you have any questions?" Chris asked patiently. Any hint of warning or anger was gone and replaced with Justin’s best friend again. The best friend that Justin knew he could trust with anything, that would go to the ends of the earth to protect him.

Justin smiled and wrinkled his nose. He had questions, tons of them, but not the questions he knew Chris was expecting him to have. They thought he didn’t see things, didn’t know things, and that made Justin laugh most days. He’d known before they left North America that Chris had sex with guys as much as he had it with girls. They didn’t know he knew, but he did. And he knew that although Joey loved girls and pretty much would have sex with anyone who would let him, that lately his friendship with Kevin Richardson was more than what he told people. That Joey was curious about guys, Kevin in particular, and that they’d been doing some messing around.

Justin knew because he had eyes, and was a lot more sneaky than people gave him credit for, but mostly because Nick Carter and he told each other everything, even things they didn’t tell their mamas, and Nick had told Justin how often Joey called Kevin, and how often Kevin called Joey. And how he walked in to find Kevin sucking Joey’s dick the last time they were in the same city and how Joey was more than enjoying it.

"It’s okay," Chris prodded gently. "You don’t have to be embarrassed."

Justin wanted to roll his eyes and tell Chris to get a clue. Instead he shrugged and tried to keep his voice as steady as possible.

"Did you ...uh....say that Nick Carter lost his virginity? That he had sex with someone, already?"

Justin was fifteen, turning sixteen in less than six months. He was still a virgin, in all respects of the words. Except for some kissing and fumbling of mutual hand jobs, he hadn’t really done all that much. As of the last time they'd spoken, Justin was under the impression that Nick was too. That the only fooling around they’d done was with each other. That they were waiting for the right time. Together.

The other guys had secrets, Justin understood that, but what they didn’t understand was that Justin had his own secrets. And his was a lanky, tall, blonde Backstreet Boy named Nick Carter. Justin’s boyfriend.

They’d made it official just over two weeks earlier when they’d both been in Stockholm and finally confessed to the other that they liked each other. Everyone else had gone out and left them at the hotel alone and they’d spent the whole night necking and finally, Justin had gotten enough courage to touch Nick’s hardness through his pants. Nick invited him to go under his clothes and Justin admitted that Nick could do it too.

It was the most exciting night that Justin could remember since they landed in Europe. He was counting down the days until they were in the same city again so they could continue.

But if he’d heard Joey and Chris right, Joey had said that Kevin told him that Nick had gone out the night before with them to a club. Nick never went to the clubs with them, usually because they wouldn’t let him, but mostly because he wasn’t all that interested in the scene. But he’d gone and one of the girls that had been following them from show to show had asked him to dance. Nick had agreed and they’d spent the whole night dancing with her. She had gone back to the hotel with them to continue partying, and according to Kevin, had stolen their precious Nicky’s virginity.

She supposedly was blonde, thin but stacked and older, at least 21 or 22 to Nick’s 16. Justin hated her with a passion. Hated Nick with an even bigger passion. Hated himself for falling for someone who had lied to him. He promised him that they’d wait, that they were together and then went to bed with someone else.

Justin saw the look pass between Joey and Chris.

"Uhhh... What?"

"You said that Nick Carter ...and some girl..."

Joey coughed and tried to conceal the smile behind his hand. "Uh, yeah. I spoke with Kevin earlier and he was saying ....why?"

Justin shrugged. "Just wondering. I mean, he’s such a goober and I don’t know why anyone would want to see him naked, let alone do anything naked with him." Justin’s heart was breaking with each word out of his mouth. Justin growled at Chris. "What’s that smile for?"

"Nothing J, nothing."

"Yeah, well I ... Is it true?"

"Kevin says it is. They were at the club and from what Kev says, she’s been following them around. All over Nick. At first AJ thought she was interested in him and was trying to pick her up, but she asked specifically for him to introduce her to Nicky. So they danced and then went back to his room. She left about an hour or so later and when Kevin went in to see Nick, he was coming out of the shower."

Justin’s heart shattered and his stomach churned. He held his breath for a second. Finally, he shrugged.

"Okay. Uhhh, thanks. I think I’m gonna ...uhhh, go." When Justin got to the door, he turned around and made an attempt at the brightest smile he could. "And don’t worry Chris, I won’t tell anyone what I heard. About anything. You can trust me, I promise."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"JUSTIN, PHONE!" Chris called.

"Who is it?" Justin asked, coming into the room. It wasn’t often that he got phone calls, and he hoped it wasn’t someone in particular. Two weeks had passed since he’d overheard Joey and Chris’ conversation and he had avoided Nick at all costs. He hadn’t responded to emails or phone calls, needing time to just think about what he was going to say to the blonde when they did actually talk.

"Some girl," Chris said with a shrug. He set the phone in Justin’s outstretched hand and walked out of the room.

"Hello?"

"So is that it? I have to get a girl to ask for you to get you on the phone now?" Nick’s voice joked through the line. It sent alternating thrills and nausea through Justin’s body.

"Huh?"


"Well, I’ve been calling but you’re never around. And so I got the girl at the hotel behind the desk to ask for you and you answer."

Justin could hear the teasing in Nick’s voice, but there was also a hint of worry there too. Justin hated making Nick worry, but he hadn’t been ready to confront the blonde. He wasn’t sure he was ready now, but it was too late to go back. Justin felt his stomach flip and his mouth went dry.

"Oh, I've been busy. You just got me at a good time," Justin lied. He could tell Nick didn’t believe him, but wasn’t going to call him on it. He continued as if nothing was amiss. "What’s up?"

"Nothing, I’ve missed you," Nick admitted softly. "I can’t wait to see you."

Justin could practically see Nick twirling his hair on his finger nervously, something that was infuriatingly adorable. The sadness in Nick’s voice tugged at Justin’s heart and he fought to remember why he was upset. A flash of Nick in bed with a girl, rolling around, naked, sweaty, hot ...penetrated his mind and he growled.

"Yeah right."

"Wh...what does that mean?" Nick asked. Justin hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud and he gasped. The confusion was evident in Nick’s voice.

"I’m sure that girl you met would be more than happy to comfort you while you pretend to sit home, missing me," Justin bit out in jealousy. He could tell he’d caught Nick off guard, but his anger and jealousy had been festering for two whole weeks and it was quickly rising to the surface. Justin was seeing red and he knew he was thinking irrationally, but couldn’t stop himself.

"What girl?" Nick asked, worried.

"Oh, what girl? What girl? You don’t think I know? Or is there just so many that you can’t keep them straight?" Justin thought about his last sentence and covered his face with his hands. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone what he’d heard. He would tell Nick what Chris and Joey had told him, then Nick would go and yell at Kevin and Kevin would yell at Joey and that would just prove to Chris and Joey that Justin couldn’t be trusted. He’d said too much but it was too late and he would have to face the consequences. Nothing mattered because his heart was breaking and the punishment Joey and Chris would give him would pale in comparison to the pain he was feeling now.

"What girl?" Nick repeated, slower this time.

"I don’t want to talk about this, just ...I have to go."

"Are you talking about what happened in Italy?" Nick asked, softly. His question caused for Justin to freeze. Instead of hanging up the phone like he’d intended, he pressed the receiver to his ear and listened closely.

"I don’t know where you were," Justin lied. Of course he knew exactly where Nick was at all times. He had their schedule memorized just as he had his own, and it had been that girl in Italy. Venice to be exact. What he’d been informed was one of the most romantic cities in the world. Clearly it had been since it was romantic enough for Nick to forget a promise they’d made each other in lieu of getting laid from some older blonde girl who probably had no idea just how special and beautiful Nick was.

"Venice, Italy," Nick said. "Isabella."

"Yeah, well whatever." Justin said. "I shouldn’t have said anything because I promised I wouldn’t tell and of course I can’t keep a fucking secret. And now you’re going to tell and they’re going to find out and I’m going to be in so much trouble. So lets just forget this conversation happened."

"I was going to tell you when I saw you," Nick cursed under his breath. "I should kill Kevin."

Nick knew it was Kevin who had leaked it and he wanted to kill the older man. He should have known that Kevin would run and tell Joey and that Justin would find out about it sooner or later. Rather than wait to bring it up when they saw each other, Nick should have called to tell Justin immediately, to soften the blow and explain everything, but he had hoped that it wouldn’t come to that. He’d been wrong. What he’d intended was to see Justin face to face and tell him everything. It wasn’t something that you just blurt over the phone, but here he was, having this conversation and wishing he had have just been honest in the beginning.

"Well, now you don’t have to. I know. So we don’t have to worry about it." Justin took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I gotta go."

"J, wait... We need to talk about it."

"I don’t want to talk about it. I thought that we ... I thought that you ... I guess what I thought and what you thought were two different ...thoughts. I shouldn’t have trusted you ...I shouldn’t trust anyone."

Nick’s heart broke at the sadness in Justin’s voice. It also broke at how much it hurt to have disappointed Justin, when that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He loved Justin, and despite how they’d mentioned that they were going to keep it casual and just do ‘whatever’, he couldn’t help but feel how he felt about him.

"I’ll see you next weekend. In Spain, we’re both there. Later." Justin hung up before Nick could say a word. The hole in the pit of his stomach was back, and making him feel even worse than he had before.

~*~*~*~*~

Justin waited for Joey and Chris to come after him to kill him. He was skittish for a few days, surprised when nothing was out of the ordinary. Clearly, Nick hadn’t gone to Kevin to kill him for telling Joey and that made Justin more upset because that meant Nick was sacrificing his own pleasure in a rare opportunity to yell at Kevin to save Justin the wrath of his band mates anger in Justin not being able to keep yet another secret.

Justin still loved Nick more than anything.

The betrayal still stung him like nothing he’d ever felt.

When they arrived at the hotel in Spain, Justin was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go to the room, crawl into the bed and sleep. For a month. He was surprised when he got to his room to find Kevin Richardson standing outside the doorway. "Room 265."

"What?" Justin asked, barely looking Kevin in the eye. As cool as he was with Backstreet Boys, Kevin scared the crap out of him and Justin always felt so tiny in his presence.

‘Room 265," Kevin repeated.

Justin’s eyes narrowed. Lance opened the door and Justin stepped inside. Kevin opened his mouth to speak and Justin held his hand up to silence him. "Let me just drop my stuff off." He knew he couldn’t fight with Kevin, and if he tried, the older man would win. So the easiest thing was to just do what he said. His stomach was fluttering and his heart was racing. As much as he didn’t want to see Nick, he did. A few seconds later, Justin had grabbed his hoodie and slid it over his tee shirt. He headed to the door where Kevin was still standing, as if waiting for him to make sure he went. He looked Kevin in the eye and smiled. "Room 327."

Kevin looked at the door and saw 322. His eyes flickered down the hall and a small smile played on his lips. His eyes met Justin’s and he nodded. Justin could tell that he was a little suspicious as to how Justin knew, but Justin didn’t give him the satisfaction of shying away. Instead, he smiled a knowing smile and shrugged.

"Thanks."

"You’re welcome."

Justin knocked on Nick’s door and waited. He was holding his breath, not sure at all what he was going to find on the other side of the door. Nick opened the door wearing a pair of tear away pants and a basketball jersey. Justin’s heart fluttered nervously. "Hey," Nick welcomed Justin with a grin and pulled him into the room.

Justin couldn’t help but grin and let himself fall into Nick’s embrace. Everything felt the same as it did the last time they saw each other. The last time they held each other. It was as if nothing happened, but Justin couldn’t deny that something did happen. He couldn’t deny that they were worlds apart now. Justin was a virgin, Nick was not. Nick had brought some Italian slut back to a hotel with him and gave her his virginity. Justin’s heart broke and he avoided looking into Nick’s eyes at all costs.

"I wasn’t sure if you would come," Nick said softly, stepping away from Justin. He could feel his pseudo-boyfriend stiffen in his arms and knew that Justin hadn’t forgotten what he’d been told. For the millionth time, Nick cursed Kevin and his big fucking mouth.

"I wasn’t going to. Kevin is pretty persuasive."

Nick couldn’t help but chuckle. He knew how afraid of Kevin, Justin was and figured that it didn’t take much, if anything, for him to persuade Justin to come down to his room. That had been his reasoning for sending Kevin down. "What did he do?"

Justin shrugged in embarrassment. "He just said what room you were in. But he gave me that look."

Nick wrinkled his nose and giggled causing for Justin to giggle too. When the giggling stopped, the room was silent. Neither knew what to say.

They both made their way over to the double beds. Where before they would have sat on the same bed, practically falling on it in each others’ arms, this time they took separate beds and sat as far from each other as possible. It made Nick’s heart hurt at the forlorn expression on Justin’s face.

"I didn’t," was all Nick said.

"Didn’t what?" Justin could think of a million ways that Nick would finish that sentence. He didn’t want Justin to find out about Isabella, or whatever her name was. He didn’t want to hurt Justin but had to because Justin wouldn’t put out fast enough. He didn’t feel for Justin what Justin felt for him. It was all too much and Justin was focusing on a stain on the carpet to keep from crying.

Nick swallowed thickly. He wished that Justin would look at him but understood why he wouldn’t. Reversing their positions, Nick knew he would be devastated if he thought Justin didn’t love him as much as he loved Justin. And if Nick had have heard that Justin had slept with someone else, even after they promised to wait for each other and be each others’ firsts he would have ...well he would have done a lot of things, none of which he’d have been proud of afterwards.

So Nick knew he had to tell Justin everything. Everything he’d been trying to keep from him for fear of hurting him unnecessarily. Everything he should have said over the phone in the first place.

"I didn’t sleep with her. I’m still a virgin."

Justin’s head snapped up and there was a mask of shock on his face. He saw how red Nick’s face was and how embarrassed the blonde was at his admission. Nick nodded weakly. "You’re what?"

"Still a virgin. We never had sex."

"But ...Kevin told Joey that you did. That she went up to your room with you and that you two had sex all night."

"Kevin wasn’t in the room with us. I let him think it because he’s always raggin’ on me about shit. I liked having him think something and know it wasn’t true. But I never thought he’d tell Joey."

"But you said ...Isabella ...came to your room?" Justin’s heart was pounding and the sound was echoing in his head. He could barely breathe and his mouth was dry. Nothing could have prepared him for this and he didn’t know what to think. There was a thread of hope that maybe Nick hadn’t cheated on him. That Nick did love him as much as he loved Nick. But Justin wouldn’t get his hopes up too high. He needed more information.

"She did..." Nick shifted uncomfortably as he remembered the events of that night.

"And Joey said that Kevin said that an hour after the two of you went there ...he saw her coming out of your room and you were showering."

"I was."

"So ..."

Nick sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. He moved so that he was sitting in the centre of the bed and crossed his legs, facing Justin. Justin took a deep breath and crawled from the bed he was currently on, to the other bed. He saw so that their knees were touching, which was a good sign for Nick. If Justin hadn’t believed him just a little, he wouldn’t have gone down in the first place, or wouldn’t have at least stayed to listen. So Nick was confident that Justin was listening openly.

"You need to know," Nick started off, completely honest, "that I really like you. Like, more than anyone else in the entire world and I don’t know if I love you, but I might. And knowing that you’ve been so mad at me lately has sucked major balls."

Justin blushed and looked down to where their knees were touching. He picked at his jeans and nodded without looking up.

"And I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Not intentionally."

"Yeah." Justin wasn’t so sure. He wanted to believe him, he really did. More than anything.

"So Isabella was following us from city to city. And we so thought she was after AJ, but that night, she asked if he would introduce her to me. AJ did and we were talking. She was pretty cool. Really pretty and smart, but the whole time I was just thinking about other things. You. Everyone back home. Just random stuff, right. And I was so distracted. But we started to dance and she was all over me, which was kind of weird because she was like, five years older than me. Maybe even six. And I kept telling her that she should talk to AJ or Brian, because they are so much cooler than I am, but she kept telling me that she liked me."

Justin growled silently wanting to seriously hurt this bitch.

"And so she asked if we could go back to my room, and I figured why not. We could hang out and talk. But she didn’t want to talk when we got there. And I kind of knew that’s why she wanted to come back, but didn’t think about it. So she started to kiss me and..." Nick looked at Justin who was watching him wide eyed. He’d hate to have heard that Justin was kissing someone else, so he understood the look of pain in Justin’s eyes. "...and I didn’t exactly stop her, but I didn’t encourage her. Before I could push her away, we were laying on my bed and she was trying to undo my pants. She said that she thought I was really sexy and wanted me."

"What... What did you say?" Justin asked softly. He didn’t want to hear the answer but still had to ask.

"I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea. That Brian might come home any second and catch us. I told her that I didn’t want to have sex with her and that there was someone else."

"What did she say?"

"That of course I wanted to have sex with her. Everyone does, and I should feel lucky that she was going to let me. And she said that it didn’t matter if I had someone else, they would never find out about it, it would be our secret." Nick reached out to grab Justin and pulled him close. At first Justin resisted, but finally he caved and the two teens lay back on the bed, holding onto one another.

"What happened next?"

Nick rolled his eyes and covered his face. "It’s so embarrassing."

Justin snickered and nuzzled Nick’s jaw. "Tell me."

"Well, she started to kiss down my chest through my tee shirt and I kept telling her that it wasn’t a good idea but she wouldn’t listen. And then she undid my jeans and slid them down." Nick stopped when he heard Justin gasp and felt him tense in his arms.

"What?"

"Yeah. She was trying to take my pants off and I kept telling her she should go, but she wasn’t listening. So she touched me through my underwear and..." Nick stopped and Justin gasped.

"And what?"


"I ...I got soft." Nick buried his face in the pillow beneath his head and Justin sat up straight. He looked down at Nick in amusement.

"You what?" Justin knew Nick’s body very well, and he knew that Nick was perpetually hard. He was a healthy sixteen year old boy, who would hump anything that would let him. Justin included. Repeatedly.

"I got soft, okay? My hard on was completely gone and there was nothing. She wouldn’t stop though, and tried to give me a blow job. When I still didn’t get hard, she got pissy and got off of the bed and was calling me all sorts of names."

Justin could see the genuine hurt and embarrassment in Nick’s eyes and his features softened. It was in that moment he knew Nick was telling the truth. He’d seen Nick lie to Kevin before and knew the gleam in his eyes when he was lying. Right now, Nick was most definitely not lying. And he hated how embarrassed Nick was. Not only for getting soft when someone wanted to have sex with him, but for whatever names and insults that she had hurled at him. In that moment, Justin hated her even more than he had before.

"Awww, I’m sorry." He lay back down and pulled Nick into his arms.

"Yeah, so she put her shirt back on.."

"HER SHIRT?" Nick hadn’t said anything about her taking her shirt off. Justin’s blood was boiling again.

"She kinda took it off when we entered the room. Her skirt too, but she was wearing a bra and panties." Nick blushed and took a deep breath. Justin simply shook his head.

"Keep going," Justin said through clenched teeth.

"She put her shirt and skirt back on and said a few more mean things to me before she left. When she was gone, I locked the door and went to take a shower because I felt so dirty. When I came out, that’s when I heard Kevin knocking on the door and let him in. He saw her leaving and assumed ...well you know what he assumed."

"Why didn’t you tell me?" Justin asked, hurt.

Nick shrugged. "I wanted to tell you in person. It’s not something I felt I should tell you on the phone. But then Kevin had to open his big mouth and tell Joey and you heard it ...and I couldn’t tell you what really happened. You wouldn’t talk to me."

Justin blushed and looked away. He knew that Nick must have known he was avoiding him, but still didn’t like to be called out on it. If Nick had have phoned to tell him, Justin probably would have hung up on him the second that Nick said Isabella had kissed him and he’d kissed her back. So truthfully, Justin understood why Nick hadn’t called to tell him, but still, it hurt thinking that Nick had slept with someone else. "I was so upset."

Nick nodded and softly pressed his lips at the corner of Justin’s mouth. "I know you were. And I understood why ...well once you told me, anyways. I didn’t blame you for being mad, but it hurt to know you thought I would sleep with someone." He held his breath as he waited for Justin to meet his eye. The longer Justin avoided his gaze, the more worried Nick got until finally he felt his boyfriend take a deep breath and shift so that they were now face to face. Justin’s eyelids fluttered open and they were looking deep into each others’ eyes.

"I thought that maybe you didn’t feel like I felt. That you didn’t want me..."

"You know I do. And I know you’re not ready but..."

"I am ready."

Nick’s pulse raced as his heart nearly stopped. "What?"

Justin nodded and licked his lips slowly. "I’ve been thinking about it so much and ...I’m ready. I want to.." He frowned when Nick shook his head.

"No, you think you’re ready because you thought I had sex with Isabella. You don’t have to ...just because of that. I’m not going to go anywhere..."

"I really want to Nicky. I was thinking a lot about it and I really want to do it. With you."

Nick leaned in to softly kiss Justin’s lips. His tongue darted out and traced Justin’s mouth. He swallowed Justin’s gasp of pleasure with a whimper of his own. "I’m not going to sleep with anyone else. I only want you Justin. Unless.." Nick said as an idea popped into his head.

"Unless what?"

"We both promised we’d be each others’ firsts. Unless there’s someone else you want to have sex with and you want to get it over with."

Justin snorted and bit on Nick’s tongue. "There are tons of people I want to have sex with. But no one I will be. Not anytime soon."

A look of hurt flashed on Nick’s face and Justin laughed harder.

"Tell me there aren’t people you want to have sex with. People besides me."

Nick growled. "No one. I just want to be with you."

Justin cocked an eyebrow and laughed as he rolled so that he was laying on top of Nick, looking down on the blonde. "Not Kevin?"

Nick scrunched up his nose. "Gross!"

"AJ?"

Nick shook his head. Justin smirked.

"Briiiiian?" Justin sang. Nick’s stomach fluttered and his pulse raced. Justin cocked an eyebrow and Nick blushed.

"Maybe..." He mumbled.

"Josh?"

Nick blushed a deeper red.

"Okay, okay. I know what you’re saying." Nick fought not to smile. He kissed Justin back when the younger man softly pressed their mouths together. "But ...you don’t have to do this, you know. I want to, but not if you’re doing it because you have to."

"I want to because every single minute of every day since Chris and Joey told me what happened, I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to have sex with you. To see you naked and feel you and touch you. And to hear you grunting and telling me how sexy it is. It’s all I can think about and now that I know you didn’t have sex with her, I want you to have sex with me."

Nick’s stomach fluttered and he leaned in to kiss Justin passionately. He’d been ready far sooner than Justin had been, but was determined to wait until Justin was ready. Nick thought they’d have to wait a lot longer, this was definitely not how he expected this weekend to progress.

"When?" Nick asked breathlessly.

"Now." Justin pushed Nick off of him and shimmied out of his shirt and then pants. He wore only a pair of boxer shorts and looked down at Nick who was still watching him with wide eyes. "Unless..." Justin barely got any more out before Nick jumped off of the bed and started to undress.

"Do you know how?" Nick asked. Justin blushed which caused for him to blush.

"I guess. You?"

"Not really. I mean, yeah but not with a boy."

"It’s like with a girl. Right? Except ..."

"Yeah."

They stood in their underwear, staring at one another, unsure of what to do next. Finally Nick went to his bag and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube. Justin’s face turned an impressive shade of scarlet and Nick blushed as well. "Kevin got it for me. He said that if I was going to be jerking off as much as I do, this will make it easier. He doesn’t want me chafing."

Justin wrinkled his nose and giggled. "Right."

Once again, the room was silent.

"So, do you want to be on the top or the bottom?" Nick asked softly. Justin shrugged.

"I don’t know. What do you want?"

"We can do both. I mean, so we can see what we like better." Justin’s face broke out into a big smile and he nodded enthusiastically.


"Yeah. That sounds fair." He held his breath for a second and closed his eyes. The words were out before he could stop them. "You can be in me first, if you want." He was starting to shiver from the cold air in the hotel room.

Nick nodded and looked everywhere except for at Justin. "Uhh, okay. Then you can be in me."

They discarded their underwear when they crawled under the sheets to warm up. It took a few seconds but Nick rolled over so that he was laying on Justin and started to kiss him. The sensation of being completely naked was new, and had them both hard in seconds. Before long, they were writhing and grinding against one another. It was as Nick was about to come that he stopped to catch his breath.

"Are you ready?"

Justin licked his lips and stared deeply into Nick’s eyes. He nodded his head as he ran his fingers through Nick’s blonde locks. "Yes."

"I’m going to stretch you first, okay?"

Justin’s eyes were filled with confusion. Nick smiled and kissed Justin’s nose.

"I kinda ...talked to AJ about it. He said that we should stretch first. It won’t hurt as much."

Justin nodded and spread his legs to allow for Nick to settle in between them. He jumped as a pair of slick fingers prodded at his entrance. The second Nick’s fingers breached the tight ring of muscle, Justin’s whole body tensed and he gasped.

"Shhhh," Nick soothed warmly. "It’s okay."

"It’s weird," Justin whimpered. He opened his eyes and saw Nick watching him, a look of awe in his eyes. Justin relaxed immediately and took a deep breath. He then focused on what Nick was doing and found that it felt amazing. It was still a little awkward, but he had never felt so alive before.

"You’re so tight Justin, I can feel you clamping down on my fingers," Nick said in awe. He was breathless.

"Are you hard?" Justin asked, barely able to speak. He was still a little scared, but most of the fright had turned into excitement.

"So hard," Nick whimpered.

Justin’s lips curled into a smile. "Then put it inside me. I want you inside me Nick, fuck me."

"Let me put the condom on."

Justin watched as Nick, with trembling hands, sheathed himself in a condom and then added a generous amount of lubrication. He held his breath as Nick closed his eyes and took a few deep, cleansing breaths. "Are you okay?" Justin asked. Nick nodded and smiled.

"Yeah. I just ...am so glad that you don’t hate me." Nick admitted. He laid himself over Justin’s body and adjusted the younger man’s legs to rest on his shoulders. Nick leaned down to kiss Justin passionately and lovingly, licking at every inch of Justin’s mouth. "I never thought we’d do this tonight, but ...I'm so glad that we’re okay. That you let me explain to you what happened. I hated you thinking I’d cheat on you."

"I ...hated thinking you did too," Justin admitted. He jumped as he felt the head of Nick’s cock at his entrance. For a moment, he had a flash of uncertainty and trembled, letting his eyes flutter shut. There were times when he felt much older than fifteen, but this was not one of those times. He startled as he felt Nick’s lips brush against his forehead.

"Are you sure? We can still stop."

Justin opened his eyes to see Nick watching him patiently. Justin allowed himself to smile. "I’m sure. Lets do this."

Nick nodded as he pushed inside slowly, carefully. Gently. It was tighter than anything he’d ever known and wasn’t entirely sure that he was going to make it all the way in before coming. "Oh fuck."

"Owww... Ouch..." Justin whimpered, shifting his hips to find a more comfortable angle. With each snap of his hips, the pain shot up his spine. It felt as if he was being torn apart and tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes.

Nick wanted to stop, but couldn’t. He was focusing too much on keeping from coming and couldn’t pay Justin the attention he knew he needed. "Oh god J, stop moving.."

"It hurts," Justin whined. He arched his back and felt Nick sink in even deeper. His cock brushed against something in Justin’s body and a snap of pleasure ricocheted through his body. It was replaced once more with pain. "Fuuuck..."

"I’m sorry," Nick apologized. He stilled his hips and allowed himself to take a few deep breaths. "Maybe ....weren’t ready..." This was better than anything he’d ever felt before and wanted to stay in this place forever. He wanted to stay lodged deep inside Justin’s tight, dry heat until he couldn’t take it anymore and came, and then he wanted to do it again. The only thing that was dimming the moment was the look of anguish on Justin’s face. "Oh, I’m sorry." He leaned down to kiss Justin’s mouth. Nick was shocked when Justin bit his lip.

"I’m so doing this to you next," Justin promised. Nick’s eyes widened.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, then you can feel what it’s like to be split in two."

Nick’s eyes narrowed as he inspected Justin’s face and looked at their bodies between them. Justin’s erection had died and Nick was feeling guilty. He should have been on the bottom first rather than letting Justin. Nick moved to withdraw from Justin’s body and felt fireworks explode behind his eyes. Before he could stop himself, he was pushing back into Justin’s body, hitting deeper than before.

"Oh god," Nick whimpered.

"Oh," Justin exclaimed in surprise. The pain was still prominent, but it was mixed with a dull flash of pleasure. "Keep going," he begged. Nick could only nod and continue.

By the time Nick was ready to come, Justin had finally gotten hard again. He was just starting to get into it and allow the pleasure to override the pain when Nick could feel his orgasm creeping up on him. He swiveled his hips and loved the reaction that Justin had.

"Almost there," Nick apologized. He received a whimper of protest in response.

"More... Not there yet.."

"Can’t hold on, J... Sorry"

Nick sucked hard on the skin of Justin’s throat as he pushed in one last time before exploding deep into the condom he wore. He shook violently and allowed the orgasm to wash over him before collapsing onto Justin’s body, breathing ragged and body on fire.

Justin was still hard and whimpering under Nick’s exhausted frame.

"Nicky..." Justin whined. His cock was throbbing and Nick’s hip was digging into him painfully.

Slowly, Nick raised his head and saw the desperate look on Justin’s face. He took a few deep breaths and got up onto his knees before crawling down Justin’s body. Justin’s cock was in his mouth before the younger man could protest.

It took less than twenty seconds for Nick to feel the first shot of come to hit the back of his throat. He choked slightly before concentrating, swallowing the whole load down. He worked Justin’s cock until it had deflated entirely and Justin was as boneless as he had been minutes earlier.

They were laying side by side, curled up under the blankets when Justin spoke next. "That was so cool."

Nick snickered and rolled his eyes. "That's not what you were saying half an hour ago."

Justin rolled so that he was laying on his side, looking at Nick. His lips curled into a smile and he ran his fingers up and down Nick’s smooth chest. "I know, but ...it was kinda hot. It hurt like a mother fuck, but at the same time, I kept thinking ‘oh my god, Nick’s dick is in my ass’."

Nick laughed and nodded his head. He’d been thinking the same thing, unable to believe that he was actually having sex. He’d had to stop thinking about it so he could do it, because even the thought was enough to nearly make him come. "I know. When do you want to do it to me?"

Justin leaned in to kiss Nick sweetly. "Do you want to do it? Even after you saw how much it hurt?"

Nick nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah I do. I saw you smiling near the end there..."

Justin had to admit, near the end it was starting to feel good. Of course it was all relative to the insurmountable pain he’d been feeling, and almost anything would have felt better, but he had no doubt that the more they did it, the better it would start to feel. He opened his mouth to speak, surprised when a yawn slipped out. The emotional aspect of the evening had been exhausting, not to mention the physical work out he hadn’t been expecting. Now, all he wanted to do was take a nap and rest. "Want to sleep first?" Just as he started to drift off, he realized that Brian would probably be coming back to the room at some point. "What about Brian?"


"Rooming with AJ tonight," Nick whispered. His eyes were still open wide and he was studying every inch of Justin’s beautiful face. As tired as he was, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He was just so relieved that Justin had forgiven him and he was given the opportunity to set everything straight. "Howie got the single. I’m rooming with Kevin, who’s going to be spending the night with Joey..."

"But Joey doesn’t have the single," Justin argued. "Chris does."

Nick raised an eyebrow. Justin blushed. "The important part is that Kevin and I are rooming together and he’s not coming back."

Justin closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss Nick, letting their tongue duel erotically. "Then maybe we can take a nap and when we wake up, I can be in you?"

Nick was already hard. He slowly moved so that he could grind up on Justin’s thigh which had settled between his legs. He watched the younger man’s face scrunch up and heard the gasp escape his lips. Nick smiled. "Or you can be in me now." Nick wanted this now. Five minutes ago. And he wanted it more than anything. His stomach fluttered as Justin’s eyes slowly opened and a tired smile covered his lips.

Uh, okay."

As Justin climbed out of the bed to head to Nick’s suitcase where the condoms were, Nick flipped over onto his stomach. He wanted to try it like this, and Justin’s smile told him that it had been a good decision. When he saw the handful of condoms Justin brought and set on the bed, he raised an eyebrow. Justin shrugged unapologetically.

"It’s still really early."

Nick grinned. That it was.

Finis.


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