< Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Nick looked around the spacious back yard, trying to find Kevin. He’d been ditched about a half an hour earlier to talk to Craig Lyons and Nick hadn’t seen him again since. Just as he’d been about to ask Justin if he’d seen him, someone stepped in his way and he nearly fainted at who it was. Looking up into bright blue eyes, gorgeous long blonde hair and a curious smile, Nick’s pulse quickened and he felt his stomach churn nervously.

"You’re Nick right?" The blonde said. Nick could only nod in response. "We’ve spoken a few times, I’m Gretchen, Gretchen Saunders."

Nick was certain he was going to faint. He had heard that she was going to be coming, but hadn’t expected her to approach him. And especially not with her lips curled into a smile.

"I ...I know who you are." Nick squeaked out. He cleared his throat and tried to take a few calming breaths.

She cocked her head to the side as though she was thinking. "Yeah, I suppose you do." She looked over Nick’s shoulder and smiled, causing for Nick to follow her line of vision. When he turned, he saw what she was looking at, Kevin talking to Craig and a few other recent graduates. The fact that she’d been able to find him and he hadn’t caused Nick to frown, But, before she could sense his change of attitude, he put the smile back onto his face. There was no reason he could think of, why she would want to talk to him, but he tried not to think about it. "I just wanted to say thank you."

Nick’s jaw dropped and his eyes nearly bugged out. "Pardon?"

Gretchen only smiled and nodded. "I know, you’re probably waiting for me to start spitting fire or something. And ...I guess last year I probably would have, but I’ve done a lot of growing up since Kevin dumped me for you."

Nick backed up and looked around him frantically. He needed to get out of there, he needed someone to save him. He needed to figure out why Gretchen had just put her hand on his arm comfortingly.

"Please... Don’t freak out. He’ll think I’m harassing you and get mad..." Nick watched Gretchen take a few calming breaths. She pulled away and started twirling her hair with her fingers. She was trembling nervously which shocked Nick so much that he forgot to be nervous.

"What are you talking about?" Nick asked warily.

"Can we ...talk? Somewhere else?" Gretchen asked. Nick nodded and allowed her to lead him to a secluded spot of the patio. They passed Lance, Christina and Kyle who were talking animatedly by the pool. As Nick walked by, he received two worried stares and he only shook his head and smiled at them, letting his friends know he was okay. When they sat down, Nick waited for Gretchen to explain herself.

"Why are you ...?" Nick started to ask, cut off by Gretchen.

"I know he dumped me for you."

Nick shook his head. "You’re wrong, he ..."

Gretchen raised an eyebrow. She waited a moment, when Nick didn’t continue his thought she spoke. "Nick, he told me he did. He might not have realized it then, but as time passes by, you see things clearer and he knew that he couldn’t be with me if he felt the way about you that he does. And at first ...at first it hurt. Both then and then again when we finally talked about it at the beginning of the summer. It took us so long to be able to get past everything and talk openly, but I’m glad that we did. I see how happy he is right now. I see how happy you’ve made him and I can’t be upset."

Nick could only sit and stare at her with a gaping mouth.

"He left me for you. We’ve done a lot of talking this summer and have rebuilt the friendship that our families destroyed. I know you hate me. You have to hate me, if only just for how I treated you at Brian’s house that night when you had to go to the bathroom."

"You remember that?" Nick asked in awe. He couldn’t believe that Gretchen Saunders would remember something so trivial. Of course he remembered it, but the way she had looked at him that night, it was as if she was looking straight through him, rather than directly at him.

She shook her head. "Not really, but Kevin laid into me about it, both that night and then again more recently. I know I’ve never given you any reason to like me or even respect me, and I understand why you’re wary of me. But ...there’s just a lot you don’t know. But you do have to know how much he loves you, and how much I appreciate you taking care of him. He won’t let me say it, and I know he doesn’t believe it, but I do love him. I’m not in love with him anymore, and that scares me because I’ve been in love with him for so long. But I can’t turn my feelings for him off completely, and above everything, I just want him to be happy."

Nick was crossed between anxiety that Kevin and Gretchen were friends again, knowing how close they once were, and upset that Kevin had resumed their friendship and hadn’t even told him about it. Not once, except for the conversation Nick knew they’d had regarding prom, had Kevin even insinuated that they had started talking again, and now Nick was being blind sighted by Gretchen. He felt a little overwhelmed.

"So firstly, I would like to apologize for that. It was insensitive and selfish to treat you the way I had. I know I embarrassed you not only in front of Kevin and my friends, but Brian’s parents as well."

Nick’s eyes were wide, his jaw dropped. "Ummm. Okay."

Gretchen ran her fingers through her hair in a distressed manner. She took a deep breath and exhaled, her eyebrows furrowed. "Is this ...I’m sorry. You look ...upset."

"Just confused," Nick said softly. He looked up to meet Gretchen’s eyes and saw regret in their depths. He didn’t want to make her feel worse than she already did, but at the same time, he had been caught off guard and had no idea how to react to any of this. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I’m leaving in two days and it’s something I should have done before." Gretchen sighed and rubbed her hands together. "Nick, up until eight months ago, I was certain I was going to marry Kevin. I’ve never wanted to marry anyone else, not even a celebrity like most girls my age. The only option for me was Kevin, and despite how much we fought, I wanted to marry him. I wanted to marry him and start a family with him. And then the dream ended. We fought a lot, but at the same time, I thought we were just as in love with each other. So did he," Gretchen put her hand on Nick’s and squeezed. "And then he met you and realized that I wasn’t what he wanted. It’s hard ..."

Nick cleared his throat and nodded, trying to follow Gretchen’s line of thought.

"It’s hard to hear that your boyfriend is in love with another boy. It makes you wonder what you did to make him gay."

"You didn’t make him gay," Nick said softly. He’d pulled his hand out of Gretchen’s loose grip and wrapped them around his legs which were pulled close to his chest. They were each sitting on a lawn chair, facing one another.

"I know, but at the time, I couldn’t think about anything else. That I’d done something to him to make him not want women. I was a bad kisser, or sex with me was so disgusting that he didn’t want to do it with any women. I couldn’t think about anything other than the fact that before me, Kevin had been straight and happy and then something I did or said made him change. I blamed myself for changing him. I blamed him for breaking my heart, I blamed you..."

"But you said he just recently told you it was because of me," Nick pointed out. He stopped when she shrugged.

"That’s right, he just admitted it. But I could see it long before that. It had been a long time since I’d seen him smile like that. And ..." Gretchen smiled at Nick so sweetly that Nick couldn’t help but return it. "...and well your smile lights up a room when he’s around. It is so obvious and at first I resented both of you. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that if we were meant to be, we would still be together. And then we started talking again right before prom and I knew that he’d done the right thing. He explained to me that it wasn’t anything I’d said or done, it was just who he was. And he’s not gay, he’s bi. We both really needed to talk because there were so many unresolved issues and we needed proper closure on our relationship."

"You’re so beautiful," Nick admitted with a blush. "He loves you so much, and he won’t admit it but I know he does. It’s hard competing with you."

Gretchen was blushing as well, but she shook her head to negate Nick’s claim. "He doesn’t. Not anymore."

"There are a lot of different types of love. And you two might not still be together, but he does love you. You share a lot of history, nothing can erase that." Nick wanted to scream that Kevin was his and she had better stay away. He wanted to tell her that she hadn’t been able to keep him happy and he would do everything in his power to do just that, but he didn’t. He knew that it was much more complicated than that.

"It’s not a competition," Gretchen said softly. She looked up into Nick’s eyes and as if something clicked between them, they’d come to an understanding. "If it was, you won ages ago."

Nick’s heart broke for the expression in Gretchen’s eyes. She was a strong woman, Nick could not doubt that. Stronger than he ever could be, because she’d loved and been loved by Kevin Richardson, lost him and was still able to talk about it. She still held her head up high and was able to sit with his current boyfriend maturely, something that Nick wasn’t so sure he’d be able to do. It was him that breached the distance between them by extending his hand to rest on Gretchen’s knee.

"I am happy that you two are talking again," Nick said with a half smile. He noted the surprise in her eyes and the smile turned into a grin. "I know, crazy, but it’s true. He respects you so much, and you mean a lot to him. And like I said, you’ve been through a lot together and I think you understand Kevin like no one else does. You’re Kevin’s Justin and Christina."

Gretchen’s face contorted into confusion. "Huh?"

Nick smiled. "You see, I have Justin and Christina. I love them both so much and I tell them everything. They know me inside and out and there are some things they know without me even having to tell them. We have total confidence and I love Kevin, am in love with him, but my friendship with them has nothing to do with Kevin. He gets jealous sometimes, but he knows that he has nothing to worry about. You are that for Kevin. You are the one person he knows he can tell anything to without judging him. Except me of course, except sometimes he thinks I don’t understand things because I’m so young and he doesn’t want to burden me with things. Or at least that’s what he says. But you and Chris are his Justin and Christina. Except you and Kevin have, " Nick looked around and leaned in closer whispering, "had sex," he blushed and held back the giggle that threatened. "Except for that, it’s the same thing."

Gretchen nodded, smiling at Nick’s embarrassment. "Okay."

"And I’m glad that he has you to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take you on if you try to steal him back from me, but as long as it’s just friends, I want him to be happy and talking to you makes him happy."

Gretchen smiled and for the first time since they’d started talking, she felt herself relax. "You’re a pretty cool guy, Nick."

Nick blushed under the compliment and shrugged. "Nah."

"No, you are. And I’m very happy that you and Kevin have found each other. I think that if our parents hadn’t have tried so hard to get us together, we could have been very good together. But as time wore on and we were forced together, we started to rebel against it. We took out things that had nothing to do with either of us out on each other and nearly ruined a good friendship because of it. And I am very relieved that you’ve accepted my apology. I hope to keep in touch with Kevin while we’re away at school, and I know that you are very important in his life. So I had wanted to eliminate any awkwardness and just ask if that would be a problem, my being back in his life."

Nick’s eyes widened and he froze. "You’re asking if you’re allowed to be friends with Kevin?"

Gretchen tilted her head to the side and finally nodded. "I guess so. In a way."

"Kevin makes his own friends, I can’t really tell him who he can and can’t be friends with."


They smiled at each other for a moment. "I know, but I would hate for us to talk and have you upset about it. I just ...wanted to make sure that it was okay."

Nick felt butterflies in his stomach and looked up to find Kevin watching them curiously. His eyes were wide and he was fidgeting nervously, wondering if he should interrupt. Nick then turned to Gretchen who was watching him with the same anxious anticipating expression on her face. Nick nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you." Gretchen stood up and stretched. She tried to shake off the tension in her body and watched as Nick stood up and did the same. "I’m glad that we got a chance to talk tonight. I hope that I didn’t make you too uncomfortable."

Nick shook his head. "No. I just ...you took me a little off guard. I wasn’t sure what you were going to do or say. If you hated me or not. You’re very intimidating, and like I said, very hard to live up to."

Gretchen smiled and leaned in. She pulled Nick in for a friendly hug and whispered into his ear, "So are you." She grinned at his blush and winked at him. "You should go and talk to him, he’s freaking out over there."

Nick nodded and hugged Gretchen one more time. "Good luck in New York, I’m sure that you’ll do awesome in school there."

"Thanks."


Nick was across the patio in seconds. He found himself immediately wrapped in Kevin’s arms, held close to his body.


~*~*~*~

"You might want to go check up on your boy," Joey said discreetly into Kevin’s ear. Kevin had been talking to Craig and Howie about their respective colleges and programmes that they were looking into majoring in when his best friend had quietly interrupted.

"Why?" Kevin frowned as he turned to face Joey, surprised to see humour in his eyes. "What’s wrong with Nick?"

Joey shrugged as he nodded in the direction that Nick was sitting. He’d been surveying the crowd for a moment when he had spotted Gretchen crossing the spacious patio, heading straight for Nick. It was almost comical how Nick nearly jumped out of his skin at Gretchen’s arrival, but what had been more surprising was when they had headed through the giant group and made themselves comfortable in a secluded area of the patio. Joey had gone to find Kevin almost immediately, concerned for Nick and curious as to why Gretchen had sought him out.

Kevin’s eyes followed Joey’s pointing finger.

"He’s over in the corner, with Gretch."

Kevin’s pulse started to race and his heart was beating wildly. His back straightened and he looked over in the corner to where Joey was pointing. Just as he’d been informed, there was Nick on one lawn chair and Gretchen on the other, the two engaged in what looked like a very intense conversation. Kevin’s stomach dropped immediately.

"Holy shit."

"Just thought you might like to know." With that, Joey headed off to find Mandy. Seconds later, Kevin was joined by Justin.

"Why would she want to talk to him?" The younger teen asked curiously. Kevin could see the concern in Justin’s eyes and the strong line of his jaw. Justin was ready to jump in if Nick needed him and Kevin smiled for just a second.

"I don’t know,’ he answered softly. There was a small issue that Kevin hadn’t yet been able to talk to Nick about, and he had a feeling that he shouldn’t have waited so long. At the end of the school year, Kevin had started talking to Gretchen again. They engaged in occasional long phone conversations, ranging from school in the fall to their own failed relationship. It was different from how it had been because they were friends now.


Nothing more, nothing less.

No pressure.

They often talked about Nick, and what his presence in Kevin’s life meant. Kevin’s insecurities, Gretchen’s insecurities and mostly Gretchen’s questions. They always respected Nick’s privacy and there was an unspoken agreement that things weren’t to be taken too far. On any level.

Kevin had meant to tell Nick but the time had never presented itself. He knew how the blonde would react to knowing that Kevin and Gretchen were friends again, and he’d wanted to shield him from the insecurity it would bring forward. Nick had nothing to worry about, as Kevin's heart lay solely with him.

They sat together for twenty long, excruciating minutes. Kevin watched as every emotion from confusion to anger to respect passed between them. He saw Gretchen look up and didn’t dare look away. He knew that she knew he was watching and seconds later, Nick’s eyes darted up to meet his. Kevin watched as they both stood up, Gretchen hugged Nick once to be followed by Nick hugging her back. They parted ways and nearly instantly, Nick rushed across the space between them. Kevin pulled him into his arms as soon as he was close enough to grab.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked softly. He was trembling and they could both feel it. He was unsure as to how Nick was going to react to his conversation with Gretchen and hoped to god that Nick didn’t hate him.

"I’m so confused." Nick admitted. He pulled away and shook his head a few times. Looking into Kevin’s beautiful green eyes, Nick saw fear and anxiety there. Not guilt. Nothing that could cause Nick to worry. He smiled. "She took me off guard."

"You’re not mad are you?"

"Why do you THINK I would be mad?" Nick asked coyly. He was curious as to where Kevin’s mind was right then.

Kevin blushed. He tugged Nick so that they could go sit on the lawn chairs that Nick had just vacated from his conversation with Gretchen. When they were comfortably curled up together, Kevin leaned in and inhaled Nick’s skin and scent, kissing his throat reassuringly. He took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"I’m sure she told you we’ve been talking again."

Nick nodded. "Why didn’t YOU tell me?"

"I didn’t want you to worry." Nick raised an eyebrow. "You have nothing to worry about. I love you so much."

Nick smiled. "That’s what she said." He leaned into Kevin’s arms and tried to memorize that exact feeling, the happiness he got from being in his boyfriend’s embrace. As they sat together, Nick relayed his whole conversation with Gretchen, pleased when Kevin’s arms didn’t move from around his waist.

~*~*~*~

"Gretchen?" A voice called from a darkened corner. He watched her stop and she froze, fighting off the growl that was customary.

"Christopher?" Chris stepped out of the shadow and she could only see half of his face. He was not smiling, yet his eyes were not accusing as she was accustomed to witness. They continued to stare at one another until she saw him nod to follow him. They headed towards Kevin’s house and through the patio doors into the kitchen.

The silence was very uncomfortable and Gretchen’s stomach was lurching. From the nerves about going to school in less than forty eight hours, to finally confronting Nick with the apology she’d owed him for far too long, and now dealing with Chris, she wasn’t sure if she’d make it through the night. Finally she exhaled the breath she’d been holding.

"Is there something you wanted to say to me?" She braced herself for a fight, expecting their usual firework display.

Chris nodded and straightened his back. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Actually, yes." They both held their breath until Chris continued. "I wanted to apologize."


It was Gretchen’s turn to be surprised. Her eyes bugged out, similarly to Nick’s earlier, and her jaw dropped. "What?"

Chris nodded. "I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, but haven’t. And then tonight, I heard what you’d said to Nick..."

"You were spying?"

Chris gave an unembarrassed nod. "Of course I was. Justin saw you approaching and was worried. He wanted me to make sure Nick was okay."


Gretchen smiled causing for Chris to smile. "There is something about those two," she pointed out in wonder. Chris couldn’t help but agree.

"I know. So I heard what you’d said to him and ...it only reinforced what I'd been meaning to tell you." With surprised ears, Gretchen listened to Chris confess everything he’d told Kevin only two weeks earlier. When he was done, they were both blushing. "...so it was really cool for you to confess all of that to him. To be honest with him and just lay it on the line. I think he needed to talk to you just as much as you needed to talk to him."

"Wow."

Chris shrugged. "I know we haven’t gotten along for a while now, but ...it wasn’t you so much as what I thought you were doing. I realize now that I only got half of the information, only what I could see. I didn’t know what was going on behind closed doors, or how everything affected you, just him. And being Kevin’s best friend, or one of them anyways, my first instinct is to protect him."

Gretchen shook her head and smiled. "No, you were doing what anyone would have done. It just was so hard, knowing how much you three hated me and that no matter what, I was replaceable. You guys aren’t. I guess none of us really know what the hell we’re doing," she said with a laugh. "We all think we’ve got the answers but we don’t have a clue."

Chris nodded. They talked for a few more minutes until Chris nodded towards the door. "We should get back out there. Kevin’s probably wondering what the hell is going on, and I know Justin wants answers." In an awkward moment, Chris and Gretchen came together in a hesitant hug. It was more than either of them would have expected and they both laughed as they pulled away.

"So that wasn’t too weird,’ Chris said.

"Totally not," Gretchen agreed. She paused for a moment and put her hand on his shoulder. It had definitely been an interesting end to the summer, which had in itself been an interesting end to her final year of high school. "Thank you," she said, her voice genuine. If Chris Kirkpatrick could apologize to her and breach the unspoken war they’d waged on each other for the past few years, anything could happen. As they stepped out onto the patio, they could both feel at least five pairs of eyes on them.

"Now that," Chris started with a nervous chuckle.

"...was weird," Gretchen finished. They looked at each other again and laughed. "I should go talk to Kevin," Gretchen said softly.

"Yeah, I’m gonna head over there," Chris pointed to where Justin was nearly bouncing in his seat. "Later."


~*~*~*~*~

"I’m really happy that you two are okay with each other," Kevin admitted with a sigh of relief. Gretchen was very important to him, and he was relieved that they’d agreed to keep in contact while at college. He knew that above anything, she understood him like no one else did and that would prove useful while at school in a new environment. He also knew that he provided the same stability for her. "I would have hated it if there was awkwardness between you."

Nick was still slightly trembling. There were his nerves from Kevin’s impending departure, to school starting on Tuesday, to his conversation with Gretchen. Everything was just happening so fast around him that he couldn't concentrate on more than one thing for more than ten seconds. "It’s still a little weird ..."

"But you’re not mad that I’m talking to her," Kevin asked, more than stated. He needed to know that, above everything, Nick wouldn’t resent his friendship with her. Thankfully Nick shook his head.

"No. I think that you both need each other. She was very worried I would have a problem with it. And I could tell she was being honest when she apologized to me." Nick tightened his hold on Kevin. "Can you ..."

"Can I what?" Kevin asked. He pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead and smiled as their eyes locked.

"Tell me you love me? Please?"

Kevin’s stomach fluttered and he took a deep breath. "Oh Nicky ..." He lifted Nick’s chin so that he was forcing the blonde to look directly into his eyes. There was embarrassment in their blue depths and Kevin didn’t hesitate to answer his boyfriend. "I love you Nick. I love you so much."

"I love you too Kev." Nick leaned up to press a kiss to Kevin’s lips, whimpering as Kevin licked at his mouth.

"Would you mind if I went over to talk to Gretchen for a few minutes?" Kevin didn’t want to leave Nick’s arms, but he knew that Gretchen would definitely need some reassurance right about then. Kevin had looked over to see Gretchen following Chris into the kitchen, and while he knew why Chris wanted to talk to her, he also knew that it would most likely catch her off guard.

Nick looked up into Kevin’s eyes and smiled. "Yeah, J’s going nuts right now. I can feel it. I should probably talk to him." Nick paused and grabbed onto Kevin’s hand before he let him get up. "Don’t be mad at her ..for talking to me and telling me about you two before you did. Please, she’s worried you’re gonna be mad. Don’t be."

Kevin nodded and kissed Nick’s nose. "Don’t worry, I’m not mad."

"Good," Nick said with a smirk. "Because it’s your fault. You should have told me before." He giggled when Kevin blushed. "Now go." Nick watched Kevin walk across the patio to where Gretchen had just stepped out of the large doors leading to the kitchen. Before he could even think about getting up to find Justin he found himself surrounded by his four friends.

"What the hell was that?" Christina asked softly. Her eyes were wide and filled with curiosity. Nick could tell she wasn’t sure if it was good news or bad news and was waiting for his say to react accordingly. Nick smiled and his four friends exhaled.

"Chris said she was just apologizing," Justin announced softly. The five teens sat in a circle, knees touching and heads all bowed in towards one another.

"How did Chris know?" Nick asked. He met Justin’s eyes and saw the embarrassment on his face. "You didn’t?"

Lance started to laugh, followed by Britney and Christina. "You had him eavesdrop?" Lance snorted and smacked Justin’s shoulder. Justin shrugged unapologeticaly.


"Duh! He’s small and barely noticeable in the bushes. I’d have fallen over or something, he knows how to do it and not get caught." Justin turned to Nick and gave a nod. "So, what happened?"

Nick shrugged. "She came over and apologized for everything. Said that she was happy that Kevin and I are together and that she hopes I don’t mind that they’re friends again. She knows that he loves me, but they’re friends."

Christina and Britney exchanged a suspicious glance while Lance snorted. Nick gave another shrug.

"I believe her. I know from talking to Kevin that he really misses her, misses their friendship. She understands his family and he understand hers. If that’s all it is, I don’t mind. But I told her she better watch out if she’s trying to get him back. I’ll fight for him."

Christina snorted and punched Nick’s shoulder. " That’s right; you fight for your man!"

"Right on, Sistah," Britney cheered. She blushed when Nick snarled at her. "I mean ..brothah!" She amended. The gang all broke into hysterics. It was Christina who put her arms around Nick in a comforting hug.

"So you’re okay? Like, really okay?"

Nick smiled and felt his stomach flip a few times. "Yeah. It was nice that she apologized. And ...at first I was scared, but she’s really nice. And she was so nervous, that made it better."

"Good," Justin warned, keeping one eye on the area of the patio where Gretchen and Kevin were now talking. "Because I was all ready to kick some serious butt!!"


~*~*~*~*~

"Gretch," Kevin called. Gretchen turned around and their eyes met. He sensed her tense up and raised his hands in surrender. "I come in peace."

Gretchen gave a nervous laugh and once again started twirling her hair on her fingers, a sure sign she was nervous. "For real?"

"For real!" Kevin assured her. They both visibly relaxed and Kevin nodded towards an empty table. "Can we talk for a second?" He received a nod in response. They sat down in an awkward silence, until Gretchen cleared her throat.

"You’re not mad?" She knew he would understand what she was asking. Thankfully, he shook his head.

"No. At first I was a little uneasy, but I talked to Nick and ..I’m just worried about him."

"I wouldn’t hurt him," Gretchen said, offended. Kevin shook his head and grabbed a hold of her hand.

"No. Not that you would hurt him, but he’s very ...fragile. We both are right now, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him before I left. I hadn’t really told him that we’d started talking again and ...I knew it was going to be a touchy subject with him. He still sees you as competition and is intimidated by you. If he got the wrong idea.."

"I’m sorry," Gretchen apologized. "I thought you’d told him."

Kevin shook his head. "No. I know you did, and didn’t correct you. But ...he’s okay with things. Not that I thought he wouldn’t be, but ...it’s just stupid and me being afraid of things I shouldn’t be afraid of and making things worse, like usual. Sometimes I just feel that I am the fuck up my father likes to think I am ..."

"You’re not a fuck up Kevin. And you’re not who your father thinks you are. You’re better than that, hell, you’re better than your father" Gretchen said firmly. Her eyes left no room for argument and Kevin knew better than to try. It was an issue they’d discussed for far too long and often, one that Kevin knew he would never win and Gretchen would never concede.

"I love you Gretch, I really do," Kevin admitted softly. He smiled when he saw a smile grace her lips. "What?"

"Nick." Gretchen said. Her eyes darted over to where the blonde was sitting with his friends and she exhaled. "He loves you very much." She then turned to Kevin and cupped his face with her hand. "I love you very much. Always know that I love you. And no matter what happens, no matter how long we go without talking or whatever, you can always come to me. I’ll always be there for you."


Kevin leaned in to hug her tightly. He felt her tremble in his arms and for one moment it felt as if no time had passed. When he pulled away, that feeling had passed and he longed for Nick to be in his arms like he was in his heart. "Ditto. So thank you for talking to him. For clearing it up and just ...for everything. He might be a little shell shocked right now, but I know he’s grateful for it."

"I needed it as much as he did, Kevin." Her arm dropped and she took a few calming breaths. "Take care of each other, and don’t forget to write as soon as you get settled in this weekend."

Kevin nodded, promising just that. It felt as if a great weight had just been taken off of his shoulders and if he could manage to steal his boyfriend away from the group of people he was currently submerged in, his night would be complete.

It was nearly midnight and the party was dying down. There were only a handful of people left and Kevin had just thrown the last giant bag of garbage into the room off to the side of the kitchen where all of the bulk waste was stored. He knew that when Miranda arrived the next morning to clean the house as she did on Fridays, she would be surprised that there was no sign at all of a party being had. She would arrange for the garbage to be put outside the gates so that the city could pick it up. Kevin turned to see Joey and Mandy curled up on a patio lounger while Justin, Chris and Nick were playing a fast and furious game of three-way snap, which as he watched, looked curiously like they’d just made up rules and were making up excuses to scare the crap out of each other.

Although it was still relatively early, Kevin had been serious when he’d insisted that the party wouldn’t be too late. He knew that it would take him forever to get to sleep that night, and he was going to be up early for the drive to college, so he had wanted to get a good night’s sleep in preparation for the rest of his life starting.

"Thanks for helping me clean up," Kevin teased as he sat down beside Nick and wrapped his arms around the blonde’s waist. Nick immediately threw his cards on the table and pounced on Kevin, kissing him passionately.

"You’re welcome." Chris said, barely even looking up. He saw the way Justin was watching Nick and Kevin and took that opportunity to slap his hands, effectively scaring him senseless. Justin’s scream in turn caused for Nick and Kevin to jump. Joey and Mandy were laughing hysterically on the chair, watching every move they made.

"Asshole," Justin growled, kicking Chris. Chris smiled which only made Justin pout more. Finally Chris leaned in to kiss Justin, licking at every inch of Justin’s mouth. Only then did the younger teen forgive him. "I love you."

"I know you do."

"So," Nick asked Kevin softly. "Did you want to drive me home?"

Kevin hesitated and finally shook his head. "It’s probably best if Joey does. Chris is staying here tonight and my car is so full of stuff. It’s crazy for me to be lugging my room all around Middletown." He hated the way Nick’s face fell, but knew it was best if he didn’t take the blonde home. It would be hard enough saying good-bye, and prolonging it would only hurt more.

"Did you want me to stay over tonight?"

Kevin chuckled and nodded. "Yes!" Nick’s eyes lit up but Kevin’s lips curled down into a frown. "But you can’t. Your parents will freak, and ...I don’t think it’s a good idea."

Nick’s hand discreetly moved into Kevin’s lap, causing him to jump slightly. "You don’t?"

Chris and Justin both pretended to be involved in their own conversation, knowing exactly what Nick was doing.

"No?" Kevin squeaked out. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. Finally, he opened them again and gave Nick a sad smile. "You should go home. I’m sorry, baby, but it’s for the best. I ...I’ll never leave in the morning if you’re in my bed."

Nick grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "Downside?"

"You’re so incorrigible," Kevin teased. Nick sighed and they shared a sweet kiss.

"I know," Nick frowned. It hurt, and he didn’t want to leave Kevin’s house that night. Or ever. He let Kevin pull him to his feet and immediately wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist. "I’ll miss you."

"I’ll miss you too," Kevin’s voice trembled and he hoped to god he didn’t cry in front of everyone. He didn’t mind crying in front of Chris or Joey, they’d seen it before, but he didn’t want to cry in front of Mandy or Justin, and definitely not Nick. Nick had seen him cry before, and it wasn't one of Kevin’s finer moments. Although he knew that the blonde didn’t care either way, Kevin hated showing weakness, especially when he was supposed to be the strong one. "I love you."

"Walk me to the car?" Nick asked. Kevin nodded and the six teens slowly walked from backyard, through the house, to Kevin’s front door.

"We’ll wait for you in the car," Mandy said softly to Nick who nodded. He was grateful that they were giving them some privacy. Where Chris and Joey were going to UCLA with Kevin the next day, at least they would be coming home at the end of the weekend. Kevin would not. Not until late September or early October.

When they were alone, Nick threw himself in Kevin’s arms and held on tight. He could feel Kevin’s heart beating wildly underneath his shirt and Nick buried his face in Kevin’s throat. "I’ll miss you."

"I’ll miss you too."

"Write me?"

"At least every other day," Kevin promised.

"Don’t fall in love with anyone else!" Nick demanded. He grinned when Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Sure, I suppose I could promise you that much."

Nick kissed Kevin deeply and whimpered as it ended. "I love you."

"You better." Kevin wiped the stray tear that was falling slowly down Nick’s cheek. When Nick’s eyes fluttered shut, Kevin kissed him again, whispering "I love you too" against his mouth.

They stood wrapped in each other’s arms for another ten minutes, neither moving. "You should go." Kevin suggested. Nick didn’t respond. Finally, the blonde pulled away and took a deep breath. He kissed his boyfriend one last time before nodding.

"Walk me to the car."

Kevin nodded.

Nick gave Chris a weak smile and a wave. "Have fun, see you when you get back."

Chris nodded. "Will do. You two behave this weekend," he warned Nick and Justin. "Don’t be getting into too much trouble while I’m gone."

"Don’t worry," Justin said while he rolled his eyes. "We’ll save the trouble for when you get back."

Chris’s face broke out into a giant grin. "That’s my boy."

Joey stuck his head out of his window. "So I’ll be here at eight-thirty, be ready."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I’m fucking serious. I am not getting up at ass o’clock to find you two still sleeping."

"We hear you," Chris growled. "Fuck."

Joey only blew him a smacking kiss as he waved out the window.

Nick’s eyes were locked on Kevin’s and as they slowly headed down the spacious driveway, he silently mouthed, one last time that he loved Kevin. His lips curled into a grin as he saw his boyfriend return the sentiments.

End Chapter 8


Chapter 9 >