< Chapter 2

Chapter 3

With a honk of the horn and a wave from Nick, Kevin drove away and Justin let himself into his already quiet house. He’d half expected his mother to still be up, but judging that it was nearly one in the morning, she must have gotten tired of waiting up for him. He had made it almost the whole way to his room before he heard a soft, rumble of someone clearing their throat.

"Justin Randall."

Justin turned around, a guilty grin on his face. "Hi mom."

"It’s late."

"We had to wait for Nick and Kevin."

Lynne raised an eyebrow and Justin crossed the hallway to give her a giant hug. She was waiting for more information.

"Nick has been freaking out because Kevin is leaving in a few weeks, and so tonight they were talking about it. We were going to leave right after the fireworks, but they were talking and no one wanted to interrupt them. Kevin’s freaking out, Nick’s freaking out .... And well, with Nick it’s not new, but when Kevin freaks out, it’s like the end of the world or something because he’s always so calm about everything."

"Are they okay?" Lynne asked. She was trying to hide the smile at how jumpy Justin was being. She hadn’t come out to get him into trouble, merely just to make sure that he was okay and that he’d had a good night, but it was funny to watch him squirm. She cocked one eyebrow as Justin fidgeted with the hem of his tee shirt. Before he could start to speak, she grabbed his elbow and motioned for him to follow her downstairs.

"Am I in trouble?" Justin asked, half panicked. His nerves calmed somewhat when she looked over her shoulder at him and winked.

"Have you done something that you should be in trouble for?"

Justin shook his head. He was slightly late, but he’d never been able to get in on time, and this was actually pretty early compared to some nights. "I’m a little late."

Lynne looked at the clock and bobbed her head slightly. "Actually, for Justin time, you’re early. I’m impressed." She crossed the kitchen to the freezer where she carefully extracted two fudgesicles. Unwrapping her own, Lynne handed her son the second one. She sat down at the table and waited for Justin to follow her lead. When he didn’t move, she gave him a warm smile. "Sit down with me sweetheart. It feels that I never get to see you or talk to you anymore."

Justin grinned as he tossed his wrapper in the garbage and joined his mother at the table. When they were both seated across from each other, Justin’s feet resting comfortably in his mother’s lap they started to reconnect. "I miss you too mom."

Lynne squeezed her son’s feet. She nodded in his direction. So is everything okay with Nick and Kevin?" Despite being a typical fifteen year old boy, Justin was very forthcoming with details about what was going on in his life. Lynne never pressed for more than Justin was willing to discuss, and she made certain to be comforting and tactful when asking questions. She knew that he was prone to mood swings and the last thing she wanted to do was alienate their relationship, so with that in mind, she questioned without being judgmental and always let him come to her with any problems he might be having. Because of their close relationship, Justin knew that he could talk to her about almost anything, and only in very extreme cases, did he keep anything from her. Through Justin, Lynne knew all about his friends’ lives and what was going on with them, so hearing that Nick was dating Kevin Richardson was not a big surprise. What was a surprise was that they were having problems because
 Justin had never suggested anything except the opposite since the two teens had started dating in late June.

Justin frowned before he stuck his tongue out. "Nothing is really wrong, it’s just they’re both kind of worried about what is going to happen when Kevin goes away to school."

"Hmmm." Lynne said as she bit into her ice cream treat. She thought that Justin and his friends were a little young to be having relationships and tying themselves down to someone else, but she also knew that they had good heads on their shoulders and wouldn’t do anything they weren’t ready for. Her main concern was that they would spend so much effort trying to grow up too soon, that they wouldn’t enjoy their high school years and youth. Thankfully, when Justin confessed that he and Chris Kirkpatrick had started going out, he hadn’t started devoting his whole life to the older teen. Chris never made any demands on Justin, and quite honestly, the two had kept their own lives while sharing them with each other.

Justin hadn’t stopped playing basketball, or hanging out with Nick and Lance. He’d kept his own personality, which Lynne noticed was being slightly affected by Chris. Lynne had to admit that if anything, Chris was more of a positive influence on Justin than anything.

Justin cocked his head to the side and stopped. He knew what the little sounds that his mother makes meant, and she was implying more than she said with her hmmm. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

"I didn’t say anything," Lynne countered.

"You didn’t have to. What did that mean?"

The two Timberlakes stared at each other, eyeing each other down until they both broke into quieted laughter. "You always did know me too well Justin Randall," Lynne admonished.

Justin beamed as he playfully kicked his mother’s kneecap under the table. "I know, now what did that mean?"

Lynne took a deep breath and rubbed at Justin’s calf. "I don’t know, Sweetie, it’s just going to be hard for them. Kevin’s turning eighteen and away at school, Nick’s fifteen and he’s staying here. It’s bound to be harder than they think." Lynne saw Justin’s mouth curve into a frown and she stroked his leg affectionately. "I know it’s not what you probably want to hear. You want me to assure you that they’re going to make it and everything is going to be perfect and they’ll live happily ever after."

Although he wouldn't admit it, Justin had been hoping for just that. Whenever he had something that was bothering him and he needed assurance, his mother was often the one to provide that for him. But the one rule they had was that there was no tolerance for lying. She wouldn’t coddle him and he afforded her the same respect. But this time, this time he desperately needed her to assure him that everything was going to be okay, and she couldn’t do it. "But..."

"Nothing’s guaranteed Justin, you know this. Anything can happen. It’s going to be a learning experience for both of them. But.." Lynne knew that Justin was getting agitated. "But... Now listen to me Justin."

Justin nodded to indicate that he was listening.

"But if they can work through this, it will only strengthen their relationship. I know Nick, he doesn’t do anything half way. When he loves someone, he loves them until the end. When he makes up his mind about something, he follows through. And Kevin, I don’t know him very well.."

"You don’t know him at all."

Lynne flashed Justin a look and he stayed quiet. "I don’t know him very well, but for Nick to have been interested in him for so long, for him to fight for that boy and forgive him for everything that they went through, that means something. Nick has excellent judge of character, just like you. That’s why you two are so close, you’re both the same type of person, intelligent, bright and trustworthy, and people see those characteristics in you. You attract the same type of people, so I believe that things will work out in the end. I just think that things will be tough for them, especially in the beginning."

"I know. They talked for like an hour about it. How scared Nick is that Kevin’s going to dump him for someone else, a girl or a boy."

"What did Kevin say?"

"That he doesn’t want anyone else. But Nick thinks that will change when he gets there. That someone is going to tempt Kevin with se.." Justin blushed and stopped speaking immediately. He looked away at the way Lynne’s eyes widened with surprise. "Ummm."

"Nick thinks that Kevin’s going to want to have sex with other people and because he won’t..."

"Moooom..." Justin whined. The last thing he wanted to be talking about right now with his mother was sex. They were very open with each other, but there were still a few things that were sacred, and sex talks was one of them.

"What?"

"He’s just afraid.."

"Is it because of sex? Because Kevin’s pressuring him? Is Chris pressuring you?"

Justin’s face was bright red, mortification clear in his eyes. He lowered his face down to the table, covering it with his arm. Lynne reached over the table and held his hands in her own. "I trust you Justin, I trust Nick and know that Jane trusts Nick. Just like Diane and Denise trust Lance and AJ."

"They’re not having sex. We’re not having sex. God, this is so embarrassing," Justin mumbled. He looked at his mother who was watching him through patient eyes. "None of us are having sex." Lynne raised an eyebrow and Justin nodded. "Seriously, mom. We’re not."

"You do know that if you are ...if you are going to start, that you have to be safe."

"I know."

"Every time.

"I know."

"And I don’t want you rushing into it. Wait until you’re ready, you have tons of time to be an adult, enjoy these years as much as you can. Because..."

"Mom," Justin took a deep breath and tightened his grip on his mother’s hands. "Chris is a virgin. Me too. With the exception of Kevin ...and Emily and Kyle ...but you don’t know them so that doesn’t matter..."

"Kevin isn’t a virgin?" Lynne asked, clearly surprised. The look on Justin's face caused her to chuckle.

"Uh, duh. He and Gretchen Saunders went out for like three years mom. She’s blonde and stacked and totally kinda hot, in a girl way which I’m not really supposed to think because she was Nick’s mortal enemy for like ever and was so rude to him, except for at graduation when she was totally nice to him, but still. Kinda hot and they were together forever. They had sex, but only together and not a whole lot. At least that’s what Nick says." Justin suddenly realized what he’d just told his mother and groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I so wasn’t supposed to tell you that. If Nick ever asks, you don’t know. You have no idea that Kevin and Gretchen did it, and you definitely don’t know that Kyle and Emily are doing it."

"She’s stacked?" Lynne asked, causing for Justin to groan and blush again.

"Yeah?"

"I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. That’s not how we talk about women, young man. You were raised to respect women."

"I do, but facts are facts mom, she’s stacked." Lynne’s eyes narrowed and Justin giggled nervously. "But yeah, no one’s having any kind of sex." Now that was a lie, they were having some kinds of sex, just none that involved penetration ...or anything else he was willing to confess to his mother, although Justin knew full well that the longer they talked, the more danger he was in to revealing more than he had initially wanted to. Before she could speak, he continued. "And we know that when we do, we are to be careful and aware of what exactly we are getting ourselves into. But you don’t have to worry, at least I won’t be getting any girl pregnant."

Lynne’s eyes widened and Justin burst into laughter. "That’s what Lance’s dad said when he found out that Lance and AJ were going out. At least he wouldn’t be getting anyone pregnant, no shot gun wedding for his son."

Despite herself, Lynne couldn’t help but start to laugh as well. "Justin Randall."

Justin leaned in and softly kissed his mother’s cheek. "But don’t worry mom, Chris and I are cool. I’m not ready for anything right now, and he’s too busy with his band." Justin couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice. He hoped that his mother hadn’t picked up on it. Her eyes merely flickered from Justin’s to a spot on the wall before her lips curled up into a smile.

"You don’t have to have everything figured out right now," Lynne stated. Justin shook his head slightly, as if he’d missed something. They’d been talking about Nick and Kevin and sex, nothing about him having to figure anything out.

"What are you talking about?"

"I’m just saying, you’re still young, you have your whole life ahead of you. So does Nick and Kevin. I’m not discounting your feelings right now, but at the same time, you and Nick are both only fifteen years old. You have a lot of living to do, and you might find that what is the most important thing to you right now, might not be in a few years."

Justin’s eyes widened and he dropped his feet to the floor. His stomach was churning restlessly as he tried to decipher what his mother was telling him. "Do you mean about me and Chris?"

It was clear that Justin was confused, and in his confusion he was becoming agitated. That hadn’t been Lynne’s intention, it was moreso to warn him not to rush into sex, or feelings of total commitment. She knew that Justin had been feeling down as of late because Chris was becoming busier and had less time to spend with him. She hated for his moods to be so dependent on Chris and feared that he was so busy brooding over his boyfriend, that he wasn’t enjoying the freedom of his summer. When Justin had come to her earlier that year, she couldn’t deny that his revelation of his sexual orientation had come as a surprise to her. Lynne had felt that her baby boy was too young to be thinking about anyone seriously, male or female. He had long since confided in her about Nick’s crush on Kevin Richardson and what exactly that meant in terms of their friendship, the future and people’s prejudices about how others lived their lives.

A conversation was had one night between Lynne and Justin, where they’d talked at lengths about homosexuality, bisexuality and what it all meant. In the beginning, Justin had been embarrassed to talk to her about such topics, but Lynne had managed to put him at ease, proving that there was no question too embarrassing and he could be free to speak candidly. Lynne knew that it was because of how she handled the conversation about Nick’s sexuality, that gave Justin the courage to come to her and confess that not only had he found the most amazing person in the entire world, a person who caused for him to swoon and forget everything except their dark brown eyes and snarky smile, but it was also a boy.

His words still rang clearly in her ears. "Are you mad?"

Lynne had swallowed the nervousness down and forced a trembling smile onto her face. "Mad? Of course I’m not mad. Why would I be mad Justin?"

"Because I think I might be gay. I don’t want you to be disappointed or mad at me."

"Oh baby, I’m not mad. It’s who you are and I’ll never be disappointed in who you are. It’s a bit of a surprise..."

"I know you were okay with Nick being gay, but he’s not your son. Will dad hate me?"

Justin had been so confused, so lost and Lynne couldn’t help but pull him into her arms and hold him tight. Her baby was growing up and she wasn’t prepared for it. The hardest part had been to convince Justin to tell his father, but they’d stuck together and got each other through it. Lynne held Justin’s hand through the whole discussion and by the end, they’d all cried just a little.

"What I’m saying," Lynne said as she snapped back to attention and out of her own memories, "is that I know you’ve been a little upset about how busy Chris has been lately."

Justin frowned and exhaled a deep breath he’d been holding in. Apparently he hadn’t been as good at hiding his emotions as he’d thought. "It’s just..."

"I’m not saying you shouldn’t be upset, but don’t let it ruin the last bit of summer you have left."

"I just wish..." Justin sighed and shrugged. He wasn’t even sure how he wanted to end that sentence. Lynne interrupted by squeezing his hand tightly.

"While you were out tonight, Chris phoned." Lynne smiled at the way Justin’s eyes lit up. As upset as he was at his boyfriend, he still perked up at the mention of him phoning.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He phoned just before midnight. I think he was still at the venue because it was really loud and we could barely hear each other."

Justin’s eyes widened and a look of worry crossed his face. "You’re not mad he phoned so late, are you?" He knew that sometimes his parents went to bed early, and his father would definitely not be pleased that Justin was getting phone calls at such a late hour, especially when the phone ringing might have woken his brothers up.

Lynne chuckled and shook her head. "Justin, relax. We’re not out to get you in trouble for every little thing. Is that what you think? That we’re these awful dictators who are going to punish you at every turn?"

Justin blushed and shook his head. "No mom, I just ...."

"Just relax sweetie." They were both silent for a few minutes and Lynne continued speaking. "He was still there, but said they’d be getting in pretty late. He wants you to call him when you get in." Lynne’s eyes flickered to the clock and she nodded. "He said he would probably be in around now, so call."

Justin moved to speak and she cut him off.

"He’s got the phone right next to his pillow, so if you call, it clicks to let him know right before it’s about to ring so he can get it before it wakes anyone up."

Justin’s eyes narrowed and his mouth formed a menacing frown. His reaction took Lynne off guard. "So that’s how.." Justin mumbled under his breath. Her face showed her confusion and Justin growled and shook his fist in the air. He broke out of his daze and laughed at the expression on her face.

"What on earth are you going on about?" Lynne asked.

Justin rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. Whenever we’re at his house and hanging out in his room, he always does this trick when the phone rings. We’ll be reading or doing homework or whatever, and out of nowhere he’ll say ‘J, can you get that?’ And I'm always like ‘get what?’ But then a few seconds later the phone always rings. So I’m all ‘wow ...how do you do that?’ And he always shrugs and pretends that he has no idea what I’m talking about."

Lynne burst into laughter as Justin continued to roll his eyes.

"And I always forget about it until he does it the next time, and I can never figure out how he knows it’s going to ring." Justin was cut off by Lynne’s laughter. "What?"

"He said," she spoke through her laughter, "that it killed him to tell you his secret. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. He said "he won’t call if he thinks that he’ll wake my mom and sisters up, but I need to talk to him before I go to sleep. So tell him that the phone clicks before it rings."

Justin growled, which turned into a giggle. He felt a warmth spread through his body at the knowledge that Chris would give up his secret so he would call him. Just to hear his voice before going to bed. That Chris missed him as much as he’d missed Chris. Suddenly, Justin wanted to scramble up to his bedroom so he could call Chris. Thankfully, his mother understood. She stood up and motioned for Justin to grab a hold of her hands. With a glance at the clock, Justin was surprised at how late it was.

"You’d better call him soon. He’s probably dead tired and waiting for you so he can go to sleep."

Justin nodded. "I won’t be too long." Lynne shook her head.

"You don’t have to be up tomorrow morning, take as long as you want sweetie. Tell him I hope they had a good show tonight."

Justin nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to his mother’s cheek. "Thanks mom. For everything." He hugged her before scrambling up the stairs to his bedroom. Justin threw his jeans and tee shirt in the corner with the rest of his dirty laundry and slipped into a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt. He brushed his teeth, washed his face and went to the bathroom before hurrying back into his bedroom and climbing into his bed. His body was aching for sleep, but his mind was now whirling with thoughts of Chris, curled up in his own bed, phone in hand, waiting for a soft, barely audible click, indicating that Justin was phoning. After he had taken a few calming breaths, Justin dialed the familiar numbers, hoping that it wasn’t too late and Chris had fallen asleep.

"You called." Chris’ voice was soft in Justin’s ear and caused for his pulse to race. The phone had barely even rang, Chris was waiting for it to ring. Justin couldn’t help but grin.

"Of course."

Chris rolled over to look at the time. He’d gotten home about forty minutes earlier, exhausted but starving. He’d expected Justin to phone earlier, surprised as the time passed by. "Late."

"I was talking to mom. I got home about an hour ago, but we had fudgecicles and were talking about tons of stuff, mostly Nick and Kevin. Then she just told me that you’d called, so I ran upstairs to phone you back."

"If you were talking ..." Chris started to say. He was cut off by Justin’s insistence that they were finishing up anyways. Chris’ heart swelled and he closed his eyes and allowed Justin’s face to cloud his mind.

"I love you Chris," Justin said softly.

Chris loved those three words, especially when Justin said them with such overwhelming emotion. He wasn’t sure what brought them on that night though. "What’s that for, J?"

"For you telling me about the click. That hearing from me was so important, that you confessed your huge secret about how you know when the phone is going to ring."

Chris’ laughter sent delicious chills up Justin’s spine. He could listen to Chris laugh for hours, and often did crazy things just to get Chris to indulge him in that pleasure. "It’s not that big of a secret Justin, I mean ...if you just listened, you’d hear it for yourself."

"I know, but I always see how much you smile, how proud you look when you tell me to answer the phone and I’m surprised when it rings."

Chris had to admit, Justin was right. It amazed him how much Justin looked up to him, how cool Justin thought he was, and Chris couldn’t help but be proud when Justin would watch him with such admiration.

"I know, but I needed to hear your voice tonight, so I sacrificed my secret to ensure you phoned." Chris cleared his throat. All night there had been a small seed of worry in the back of his mind that Justin was upset with him for canceling their plans. Again. Chris hated disappointing Justin, but the band was important and if Chris wanted to make anything of it, they had to be available at last minute’s notice to perform. Any audience was still an audience, and with each show came the possibility that someone would happen to be there and discover them, helping to fulfill their aspirations of making a living by performing their music and perfecting their art.

He knew that Justin understood his reasoning for canceling, that it wasn’t personal or a reflection of how he felt for him, but still, it was frustrating whenever they would make plans, especially when Chris’ free time was always so limited, something would happen and Chris would have to confess to Justin that he had to be somewhere else and they couldn’t spend time together.

Justin didn’t respond so Chris continued.

"I figured, that even if you didn’t want to talk to me, you’d call me to give me shit about tricking you all this time with the phone thing, so I’d still get to hear your voice."

Justin closed his eyes tight and willed his heart to stop racing. "Of course I wanted to talk to you."

"Then you don’t hate me for tonight? You were pretty pissed with me on Sunday."

Justin had been furious with Chris on Sunday. So furious that he’d hung up on him and refused to come to the phone when Chris had called back. All three times. Knowing that Chris would seek him out by going over to his house, Justin had rushed down the stairs, told his mom he was going to Nick’s and hopped on his bike, riding the twenty minutes to his best friend’s house, hiding out there for the rest of the afternoon. Chris had taken the hint when Lynne told him that Justin was out and hadn’t told her when he’d be back. They hadn’t spoken since. Justin had wanted to phone, but was still hurt and upset, and Chris had been too afraid of making Justin more mad, so he’d kept his distance.

"Yeah."

"Yeah you hate me, or yeah you were pissed with me on Sunday?"

"The second."

"Not the first?"

Justin shook his head. Chris couldn’t see it. He exhaled the breath he was holding. "No."

"Justin," Chris’ voice was full of emotion and was like a knife right to Justin’s heart. It wasn't Chris’ fault and he had to understand that. "I’m sorry."

"I know. And I’m not mad at you, it just ...it hurts. I want to be with you all the time, or even some of the time and you’re so busy now."

"I want to be with you too. I thought about you all night tonight."

Justin smiled. "Yeah?"

"God yeah. I kept looking out into the audience, wishing you were there. I pictured you, standing right in the middle with Nick, dancing like the two of you do, all silly and pretending to mosh but you’re watching me too much to mosh properly."

Justin bit his lip and tried to lose himself in the excitement in Chris’ voice. He knew how much Chris loved performing with his band and didn’t want to deny his boyfriend that excitement. "How was the show?"

"It was okay. A lot of people. And some of them were there just for us." It was an odd sensation to have people going to shows particularly for them. The Underdog was one thing, Middletown didn’t have much of anything going on, so most of the people at their shows were friends and friends of friends. But these were strangers, in a big city who were there, specifically to see them. They’d done a few shows a month earlier when a band pulled out of a contract to play. There wasn’t a lot of notice, so people had gone to the show, expecting the other band. At first it had been rough, but when they had gone on and the fans had actually gotten to see Anarchy for Everyone play, the night had worked out tremendously well. Judging from what people had said to them after the show when they were mingling in the bar, a lot of the audience had been at those shows and gone tonight to specifically see them play.

"Wow," Justin said, awed. The band was becoming more widely known, gaining popularity. The prospect of them becoming famous was actually shaping up to be a reality. Justin wished he had of been there to see it. "You guys have fans? Real fans?"

"Yeah, a few people asked me to sign their CDs for them, for when we get famous. It was strange, signing autographs."

"I’m so proud of you," Justin confessed with a yawn. He listened intently while Chris explained the whole day to him, everything from them packing up and driving down, to how nerve wracking it had been to play for such a big crowd. Justin laughed at the antics Chris had said they’d gotten up to and blushed when Chris confessed that he’d only been able to think about Justin for the past few days.

"I considered telling them no," Chris said quietly. He had woken up that morning, after not speaking to Justin for a few days, unsure if he could go with them. He hated knowing Justin was mad at him, possibly hating him, and thought that if he could just stay home, go to the fireworks with his friends then Justin would see how much he meant to Chris.

"Why?" Justin knew why, but he couldn't believe that Chris would jeapordize the band because he was being a baby.

"Because you were mad at me. I know you really wanted me to come with you to the fireworks. I was going to come by and apologize.."

"No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have..."

"Nothing is more important than you Justin," Chris started to argue. Justin had to cut him off.

"You’re more important to me, and you have to take care of yourself. I love you Chris. I love you so much, and I was upset that you weren’t there, but I’m also so happy that you’re doing what you love. I’m so sorry I was so mean and mad at you. I should understand that you’re busy, it’s just ....I don’t want you to forget about me." Oh god, now he was starting to sound like Nick and Kevin. Chris’ laughter brought Justin’s attention back to their conversation.

"Oh god Justin, forget about you? You must be tired. Or crazy."

Justin’s cheeks heated up as he smiled. "Yeah?"

"Totally. I know I’ve been super busy, but I swear, you’re all I can think about. How much I miss you. How much I want to kiss you. And touch you, and just watch TV with you while I gently run my fingers through those short curls that I’ve missed so much." Chris pulled the receiver away to yawn. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothin’. Just going to Lance’s house. Then we might go to Christina’s to go swimming. AJ’s working and so is Josh."


"I’m done work at 4:30, I’m watching the kids tomorrow night, but ..."

"I’ll totally come over." Justin laughed at the enthusiasm in his voice. "If that’s what you’re asking."

"Yeah. You wanna come over? We can hang out with the kids till they go to bed, then we can spend some time together." Chris’ stomach flipped excitedly. He couldn’t wait to see Justin, he’d missed him far too much.

"Okay. Mom won’t mind."

"J?" Chris asked. He looked at the clock and cursed himself. He was going to be so tired the next day seeing that he had to be up for work in mere hours, but didn’t care. He’d rather be tired than miss talking to Justin. "Did Kevin talk to Nick tonight?"

Justin held his breath. "About?"

"September? When he leaves."

Justin knew that he could trust Chris, and for that reason, he told him things that he would only dare talking to Nick about. "I know Nick was worried about Kevin leaving him behind and finding someone else at college. He’s expecting Kevin to go and find someone who is older, more mature and will give him sex, and he won’t need Nick anymore. He had a big freak out."

"Kevin?"

"Nick."

"Oh."

Chris was holding something back and Justin’s back straightened in suspicion. "What?"

"So Nick is worried about Kevin moving on and forgetting about him?"

"Yeah."

"And did they talk about it?"

Instinctively, Justin nodded. "Yes. We told Nick he had to tell Kevin what was bothering him, so they had a big talk about it for like an hour. What aren’t you telling me?"

Chris didn’t hesitate to tell Justin why he was curious. "Kevin’s been feeling the same thing. He’s afraid that he’s going to go to school and someone else is going to come in and take Nick away from him. That Nick will find someone new, someone who is there with him all the time and he won’t want Kevin anymore."

Every time someone suggested that Kevin was self conscious about anything, it always surprised Justin. He just couldn’t picture Kevin to be anything except confident about everything. "Wow."

"What?"

"He knows how much Nick worships him, how in love Nick has been with him for like, ever, and he’s still worried?"

"He’s never felt like this about anyone, it’s new to him." Chris yawned. "But I’m glad that they talked about it. Is everything okay?"

"Totally. They agreed that they weren’t going to waste the rest of their time together worrying about it. Whatever happens happens and they promised to try to not fall in love with anyone else while they’re apart."

Chris balked at Justin’s account of their conversation, it couldn’t be that easy.

"I don’t know all of the details. Nick didn’t tell me much, Kevin was right there. But they’re cool with things, that’s all I need to know."

Chris had to agree, Justin had a point. All he wanted was for Kevin to be happy, Nick too for that matter. He was relieved that Kevin had finally gotten to talk to Nick about his insecurities. It had been bothering him for a while, as he and Chris had endured countless conversations about it. But at the same time, he was relieved that he and Justin had talked about things and the younger teen wasn’t harbouring any resentment towards him abandoning him time and time again. Justin needed to know that it wasn’t voluntary, and it wasn’t intentional. Justin’s voice startled him to full consciousness.

"Are you still there?"

"Hmmm," Chris mumbled. "Still here."

"You’ve got to work in the morning Chris, you should be sleeping."

"Wanna talk to you."

"You’ll see me tomorrow, get some sleep." Justin felt himself slipping into unconsciousness as well. "Good night Chris, I love you."

"Night J." Chris yawned out. He managed to hang up before snuggling up under his blankets, Justin’s voice ringing in his ears

End Chapter 3


Chapter 4 >