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Title: Dissecting Past and Present Relationships
Author: Jules
Part: 1/1
Series: 3 of the One Way Or Another Series
Pairing: Nick/Justin/Kevin
Rating: NC 17
Disclaimer: Fiction, as were the other parts of this series. Perhaps there's a trend...
Warning: Slash warning. Bigroupal warning

~*~*~*~*~

This is the first time they've been together alone, without Nick. Both times that he and Justin have been together like this, in this sort of context, the blonde had always been there with them as kind of a buffer between the two. The glue that was keeping them together, but this time it was just them, him and Justin and Kevin would be lying if he didn't admit it was slightly weird. Granted, the first time he'd watched Justin and Nick fuck, and then the second the three of them had fucked, but Nick had been the centre of attention both times. Well, the Justin's centre of attention anyways. All Kevin had been able to focus on since both of those times was Justin, to the point where Kevin couldn't get him out of his head. He wouldn't say he loved him, far from it. It was more of a hidden obsession. A slow burning fire that was cackling and sparking deep inside of him and Kevin was wondering how it had gone from a simple desire to sleep with the younger man to ...what it was now
 becoming, which Kevin refused to even contemplate. He was frightened to believe he was becoming as serious about Justin as he was, especially since they hadn't even really had any connection outside of the few times they'd been with Nick. Although he had thought that perhaps their connection of Nick was one of the reasons Kevin was so infatuated with the younger man. In an attempt to be as close to the blonde as he could, he was taking an interest in those closest to him, and Justin was definitely one of the few people closest to Nick. It was something that continued to baffle Kevin, but not something he wanted to think too much about. He'd rather enjoy it for what it was right now rather than make it into something it wasn't.

But now, here he was in Justin's hotel room, alone with the younger man. He's there because of a phone call he'd received earlier that night .... well morning to be exact. But whatever. Justin had phoned nearly pleading with him to meet at this hotel. He'd needed to get out of his house and away from something, he really hadn't been too forthcoming with information on the phone, so he'd gone to a hotel to hide. Justin's voice still echoed in Kevin's ears.

"Kev? Please.... I need you!".

"Justin? What's wrong?" Kevin's heart began to race at the note of desperation in Justin's voice. He was out of bed and slipping into a pair of jeans within seconds. The thought to refuse the younger man hadn't even crossed his mind. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I can't do this. Not now. I don't want to make the biggest mistake of my life. I need you Kevin. Help me."

"Where are you? I'll be there as soon as I can." Kevin heard Justin hiccup softly. His mind was still muddled with sleep and he had to fight to believe that it was real and not some elaborate dream.

"Had to get away. I'm in a hotel... can't find me here."

There had been no doubt in Kevin's mind that he would rush to Justin's aid. It was just a matter of where and when. The question of how far down on the list of people Justin phoned, rang in Kevin's ears, but he hadn't voiced that question to the younger man. Kevin wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. It was more of the principle that Justin DID phone him, DID need HIS help and he couldn't help but feel just a little proud.

Justin, through more panicked hiccups, revealed to Kevin where he was and that he'd prefer if Kevin came immediately. The older man was already dressed and on his way to his car parked in the garage. He'd be there within the hour.

Kevin's question of his rank of importance was revealed the second he arrived and was welcomed by Justin. "Thank you for coming Kevin, there wasn't anyone else I could call."

It was as he looked into Justin's eyes that he realized just how upset the younger man was. He'd thought maybe Justin had been overreacting when he'd phoned, that it had been a false sense of emergency, but as their gazes met, Kevin could see immense pain in Justin's blue eyes. And as much as he'd wanted to ask what was wrong, he wouldn't. Justin was going to have to say something first. It would have to be Justin to willingly present the information.

"Of course J. You know you can call me any time." Before he could think too much about it, Kevin pulled Justin close, hugging him tightly. Something in the way the younger man had his arms around Kevin's torso told Kevin he desperately needed the intimate contact. There had been a brief thought of whether it was inappropriate but as Justin relaxed into Kevin's embrace and allowed him to comfort him he knew he'd made the right decision. He pushed the thrill of excitement that coursed through him at their physical contact to the back of his mind and fell into the comfortable embrace.

They stood motionless in the hall arms wrapped around one another Justin's face buried deep in the crook of Kevin's neck until a loud knock interrupted them startling them apart. Kevin's pulse raced and his stomach dropped as he figured that Justin had indeed invited someone else. Visions of Nick standing on the other side of the door clouded his mind. Maybe Justin had wanted a repeat performance of their visit to Marathon, on Nick's boat, but this time with him as the focus of attention and comfort. And while that idea wasn't necessarily a bad one, it hurt Kevin to think that Justin needed Nick there, that he wasn't enough. Kevin's mind then moved on to any of the other guys in Justin's group, wondering if he'd have called any of them as well as himself knowing how awkward it would be. No, it had to be Nick and Kevin let out a disappointed breath as Justin flashed him a weird look and moved to open the door. He was pleasantly surprised by the hotel employee standing at the door with
 a food service cart.

They stood motionless as the man rolled the cart into the common room and bid them both a good night, leaving Kevin feeling embarrassed and Justin watching him curiously. Awkwardness once again settled over the room and Kevin blushed. "What?"

"Why did you look so surprised when I opened the door? Who were you expecting?" Justin's face was a mask of stone, revealing nothing.

Kevin blushed deeper, avoiding Justin's gaze. When the younger man crossed his arms over his chest Kevin knew he wasn't going to be able to get out of answering.

"Well?"

"I thought it was going to be.... I figured that maybe you'd called...."

"Room service?"

Kevin shook his head. "Uhhhh..."

"I was hungry. I haven't eaten all day." Justin hadn't blinked, he looked clearly unimpressed.

"I thought it was going to be Nick. I'm sorry."

A look of something Kevin couldn't decipher passed Justin's face and he sighed. "I told you I couldn't call anyone else. You're the only person I phoned Kevin. You're the only person who knows where I am. No one!"

"But he's not just anyone Justin..."

A chill settled over the two men, causing both to shiver.

"Why didn't you? Call Nick I mean?" Kevin asked softly. "Why did you call me?"

Justin exhaled sharply almost annoyed which startled Kevin.

"Fucking damn Kevin. If I'd have known it was such an inconvenience for you I'd have hung up before you answered. Or better yet, just not called at all. I'm sorry for bothering you." With that, Justin went back into the living room, leaving Kevin at the door. "Let yourself out Kev. Go back to whatever it was I interrupted you from. I'll be fine without you."

Kevin closed his eyes, mentally cursing himself. Once he'd composed himself he followed Justin, finding him curled up on the couch. "I thought you were hungry." Kevin motioned towards the cart which had remained untouched.

"I thought you were leaving." Justin's voice held none of the warmth or emotion Kevin had received earlier. Justin hadn't even looked up at him, he'd fixed his gaze on a point across the room over Kevin's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It's just ... I know how close the two of you are and I guess I'm just surprised that you called me and not him. Hell, I'm surprised that you called me over anyone." He sat down gently on the end of the couch, moving Justin's feet to his lap. Unable to help himself, Kevin began to massage Justin's feet, wanting only to comfort him. There was also the factor that it comforted him as well having some sort of physical contact with the younger man. "So I'm sorry for being confused and making a bigger deal of this than I should. I just guess.. I'm just surprised that you came to me. Out of everyone else, you picked me."

"Too close."

Kevin was confused. Did Justin mean he was too close? Did he want to be left alone. Kevin began to move away, giving Justin the room he needed. "Huh?"

Justin held him in place with his feet, indicating he didn't want Kevin to move. He shook his head and sighed. "I can't go to Nick about it, he's too close."

"To what?" It was then that Kevin realized he still wasn't even sure why he was there. Who Justin was running from ... or even what it was he was running from. All he knew was that Justin was in a panic about something and he had never felt so alone in his life, at least that's what Justin had said. That he wanted ... no that Justin NEEDED help in avoiding making the biggest mistake of his life. He watched the range of emotions cross Justin's face, hating to see him in such turmoil. To Kevin's surprise, Justin started talking, spilling everything.

"She's been calling like mad. This whole fucking marriage thing... partying... fucking anything that moves," Justin let out a sarcastic laugh as their eyes met, "...men and women. I mean fuck, she goes from the virginal school girl to class whore overnight... She's doing all this shit to get me back. I mean, at first it was to get back at me for leaving then when she saw I didn't care, now it's to get me back. And so she's been phoning two or three times a day to remind me how much she still loves me. How she needs me and how good we are together. She wants me to give us another try... give HER another chance. It doesn't matter that I've moved on.. at least somewhat anyways. And it doesn't matter that we've both said and done things to intentionally hurt each other, something we both promised we'd never do if we broke up, she still thinks we're worth saving. But then I think about it and I don't know if I even want to be saved."

Justin didn't need to give a name, Kevin knew who SHE was. He couldn't help but wince in distaste. "And?"

He received a sigh of defeat in response. "And then I think about it some more and realize that I still kinda love her. I'm always going to love her, at least a little bit and it just hurts so much."

Kevin's stomach lurched as he saw the pain etched on Justin's face, the desperation in his voice. Despite how much she hurt him, Justin still loved her. He probably always would and Kevin could sympathize with the turmoil the younger man was feeling. He'd been there before and knew how hard it was to put everything into perspective and make the decision of what ultimately to do. Kevin was unsure of what to do to help him. Had this been Nick, Kevin would know exactly what the blonde wanted and needed him to do, but Kevin wasn't as familiar with Justin as he was with Nick. They didn't have the same background and past experiences for him to be able to do this. Kevin opted to remain quiet, allowing Justin to fully bear his soul to him.

"I still love her and .... you know ... I just get to thinking maybe we SHOULD give it another try. Maybe we needed this to grow up a little. Before, it was all too perfect. We were young, we'd never really been in a relationship before and having to hide it for so long, then with everyone watching us with such scrutiny.. it was doomed from the start. But we hashed it all out, showed everyone that we're not perfect and now no one will care that we're together and we can finally be comfortable with it." Justin paused and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few moments. "I mean, they weren't all bad times. We were really happy together for such a long time.. and no one knows me like she does. Maybe I'm fighting it because I THINK I should, not because I want to... but then on the other hand maybe I'm right in fighting it and I'm only second guessing because SHE wants me to. I don't even know what I really want anymore." Justin opened his eyes to look at Kevin. He saw a mixture
 of different emotions in their depths. His head was spinning and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he was really feeling inside or how to make all of the voices screaming at him to stop. In a sudden movement, Justin grabbed the pillow behind his head and put it on Kevin's lap, resting his head down there. He needed the gentle comfort that the older man was providing him with hoping that he would be able to help him make sense of the confusion in his head. "Is this okay?"

Nervously, Kevin licked his lips and nodded his head. "Yeah, of course it is." When Justin allowed himself to relax, Kevin brought his hand up and began to gently caress his head, running his fingers through the short curls.

Justin picked up where he'd left off. "I was just going to call her. I know it. I don't know what I was going to say, but it probably would have been a mistake, so instead I called you. I needed you to help me from making the biggest mistake of my life." Justin's hand moved to Kevin's thigh, right beside his head, and squeezed gently. "I can't think clearly with her phoning every ten fucking minutes putting thoughts into my head. Not that I can't think for myself, but she's very good at getting what she wants. And the worst of it is that she does it in a way that it's you that's chosen. She gets you to believe you're doing it because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to. I just needed you close."

Kevin's voice was soft, his touch gentle. In all his years knowing the younger man, he'd never seen him in such a vulnerable state. For some reason, Kevin didn't think all too many people had been witness to a vulnerable Justin and with that thought, Kevin felt special, honoured. "I honestly don't know what you want me to do J. I don't know how to help you."

Justin rolled so that he was on his back, looking up at Kevin. "I don't want you to do anything. I just want you to be here with me, like this. Having you close helps more than I can tell you." A few moments passed before Justin spoke again. "I know you're confused as to why I called you and not him."

Again, Kevin didn't need clarification as to who Justin was referring to. He knew Justin meant Nick. "A little bit. But it's not important. I'm just glad that you called. You can always call. I got wrapped up in the fact that you called and didn't really think about anything except that. But no matter what, I'm always going to be here for you."

Justin gave Kevin the first genuine smile since he'd arrived, bringing one of Kevin's hands to his mouth. He kissed the soft skin, feeling the older man's pulse race at his wrist. "Thank you."

"Any time."

Justin had been more nervous than he'd ever been in his life as he dialed the numbers written in Nick's messy scrawl. As he'd been getting ready to leave Marathon to head back to the tour Nick had pulled him aside and given Justin Kevin's phone number. It was 'just in case' Justin ever needed anything, he could always call Kevin. Justin had an inkling that Nick had done the same with Kevin, giving him his number and although Justin had never thought he'd ever have the balls to actually phone him, it was nice to have none the less. He'd thought about it for about half an hour, dialing a few numbers before hanging up frustrated. In a moment of pure desperation, Justin dialed all numbers and waited for the phone to ring. Before he could hang up, Kevin had already answered and Justin was forced to speak. Now, looking up at the older man, he was glad he had. He'd been honest with him, there wasn't anyone else he could call. It was only polite that he tell Kevin the whole story now.

"I can't... couldn't call Nick for two reasons. One is that he and B are still friends. They've got this weird bond thing and..."

"That oversteps yours?" Kevin didn't believe, knowing what he did about their relationship, that Nick would choose Britney over Justin. In any form. It was absurd.

Justin shook his head and sighed. "Not exactly. It's complicated. I mean yeah.. when it comes down to it I know he would do anything for me, but I couldn't ask him to do that. I can't ask him to choose sides, not more than he already has. He means a lot to both of us and it's not fair to put him in the middle like that. There's just a lot that you don't know Kev."

"Are you okay with that? With them still being friends?" Kevin tried to ignore the jealousy sparking inside of him. Justin and Nick had this connection, this past that he wasn't a part of. He'd always known it, but it had never been waved so blatantly in front of his face before. It confused him to think about exactly who he was more jealous of and in that moment, Kevin began to understand exactly what Nick had been going through weeks earlier.

"Of course I do. I trust Nick completely. He would never hurt me."

Kevin weighed out his thoughts before speaking. "But if he knew you were hurting this much.. I know he'd want to be here for you. No matter what. What's the second reason?"

Justin sighed and shook his head with regret. "He's got so much else going on in his life right now. With his parents being as fucked up as they are, Aaron's emancipation from them, the trouble that family seems to breed on a daily basis.. not to mention how Jane's chomping at the bit because he's seeing Paris. It's funny how she's practically written him off as useless for how many years now? And now that he's happy.. but more importantly dating someone with a bigger bank account that he has, he is once again her prodigal son."

Kevin's lips curled in fury, a low growl escaping from deep inside his throat. Jane Carter was one woman Kevin could have gone a lifetime without ever having to cross paths with. The only useful thing she'd done in her life was birth Nick, and for that reason only he was thankful. Justin was right though, Nick had enough on his plate at the moment with his family and his budding relationship with Paris to try and carry Justin's burden. Kevin made a mental note to call Nick as soon as possible just to touch base with him. "You're absolutely right J, he is dealing with his own shit right now. But what about your guys?" Kevin didn't fail to notice how their fingers were entwined, how Justin hadn't let go of his hand which was now resting on the younger man's chest.

"They went through enough the first time. Don't get me wrong, they would be here in an instant if I called, but I don't want to put them through that again."

Kevin once again felt a rush of gratitude at Justin's admission that the younger man trusted and felt comfortable enough with him to call. "Well Jus, I know I've said it a few times but you have to know that I'll always be here for you if you need to talk."

Justin let out a soft laugh. "Thanks. I'll just have to remember how fucking nosy you are. Must be where Nick gets it. Can't fucking take anything for face value.. gotta pick it all apart before you believe it."

Kevin thought he should be offended but wasn't. Not if Justin was comparing him to Nick, and it was in such an endearing way. "I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

"Yeah, he says that too." Justin stared deeply into Kevin's eyes causing both of them to shiver. Kevin never really thought about how he'd affected Nick's growing up. He was curious to know how else they were alike, from an outsider's point of view.

"What else?" He asked. "How else are we alike?"

Justin closed his eyes, trying to think hard about Kevin's question. He conjured up Nick's image and compared it to that of Kevin. "There's this intense look he gets on his face, when he's really serious or trying to weigh something out in his mind. It's totally the same look you get, when you're focused and nothing's going to stop you from doing what you want to do. He's definitely picked up your drive and determination, your inability to depend on anyone else to do what needs to be done. And how he scrunches up his nose when he's nervous or embarrassed. You do that too."

Proving Justin's point, Kevin did just that exactly. The younger man couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, like that. Right there." Kevin's blush deepened and Justin chuckled. "Don't be embarrassed. It's hot as hell." He raised his hand to cup Kevin's cheek. "And sometimes he says and does thinks, and when he does I immediately think of you. He worships you Kevin. Worships you like nothing I've ever seen before."

Kevin wanted to speak but couldn't find the words. The emotion was clear in his eyes though and Justin simply nodded.

"It was always 'Kevin this' and 'Kevin that'. He loves you so much." It was Justin's turn to blush. "But as similar as you are, you're so different too. Not a bad different, just ..different."

"How?"


Again, Justin paused to think about his answer. "Where he's broad, stunning, golden, you're strong, beautiful, so striking. You're both beautiful but it's a different type of beautiful. He's so emotional and extroverted and you're reserved, calm and always in control. You're both extreme opposites of one another, but between the two of you, it's... it's like perfection. And I can't believe how fucking lucky I've been to have you both in my life. Nick's always been there, but now you're there too and sometimes I can't believe it."

All Kevin wanted to do was lean down and kiss Justin, press their mouths together and show him that Kevin thought HE was beautiful. That he was just as happy to have Justin in his life as he was to have him in his. He wanted to erase any feeling of pain and hurt that Justin was feeling and mend his broken heart. The force with which Kevin wanted to protect the younger man took him by surprise, as previously those emotions were only present in regards to Nick, at least to that degree. So as much as he wanted to show Justin how special he was, he couldn't, not physically anyways. The last thing he wanted to do was to move too fast and ruin any chance he had. Justin was still trying to work out his confusing feelings surrounding Britney and what he didn't need right now was another complication to work out. Although he wanted nothing more than to kiss him, touch him all over and love him, he refrained. Instead, he stroked Justin's cheek gently. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

They remained in silence, gazes locked on one another until Justin's stomach growling echoed in the room. Justin broke into a fit of nervous laughter. "I'm so fucking hungry."

Kevin looked at the food service tray. "It's probably cold by now." When Justin removed his head from his lap and sat up, Kevin couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. It had been so comfortable, sitting with Justin intimately like that and he couldn't help but wish they could have spent the whole night in that position. He didn't miss the grin that appeared on the younger man's face.

"It's just a salad and a sandwich. Well two actually. I know from Nick that you're a pretty healthy eater, so I just got you what I was having." Justin stretched before heading over to the cart, lifting the lid off. There sat a large Caesar salad and two sandwiches, one being grilled vegetable on focaccia bread and the other a chicken club on whole wheat. "So pick whichever one you'd like. I wasn't sure your preference."

Kevin felt his own stomach growl, despite the late morning hour. With a glance at his watch, he realized they should technically be having breakfast but he wasn't going to complain. "How about we take half of each." He knew he'd made the right choice at the blinding grin Justin flashed at him.

"Good call." Justin reached over for the remote control and flipped on the television, finding ESPN. "You mind if we watch this?" He asked, before setting the remote back down.


Kevin shrugged, unable to talk with a mouth full of food. He didn't care what they watched, all that mattered was Justin and whether or not he was okay. The younger man looked considerably better than he had when Kevin had shown up, which made him feel better as well. They ate in comfortable silence watching an update of the previous days' games, Justin tucked snugly against Kevin's side. It was almost an hour later that Justin groaned, standing up to stretch.

"You gonna be okay for a bit? I think I'm gonna take a shower."

Kevin yawned as he answered. "Yeah. I'll be fine. Take your time."

It was about five minutes after Kevin heard the water start in the washroom that his cell phone began to ring. He picked it up and answered it immediately. "Hello?"

"Kev? How are you?" Nick's voice came clear through the line. Kevin's stomach did a weird flipping thing and he grinned.

"I'm pretty good. You?"

"Same shit." Nick let out a tired sigh and Kevin felt a wave of sympathy flow over him. "Mom's going crazy and bringing us all with her." Kevin had been about to interrupt but Nick kept talking. "I'm sorry that I'm calling so early, but I need a favour from you."

"Anything. And don't worry about the time, I was already up. Been up for a couple of hours."

"Can you check up on J for me?"

Kevin felt the meal he'd just eaten churn in his stomach. "Pardon?" He surely must have misheard the blonde.

"I need you to check up on J for me. I'm in Marathon right now and it'll take me too long to get to LA... plus there's shit I can't get away from here. I checked my voice mail to find like four tripped out messages from Brit just from last night. And god knows what the fuck she's doing to him now, I don't want him to be alone. I know he won't go to the others. He's gonna try and deal with her shit alone which will only result in disaster."

"Uhhh, Nicky?" Kevin wasn't sure whether to laugh or not, he found the situation oddly funny. "I'm sorta... already.. here with..."

"I mean, I love her like a sister but she's not entirely stable right now. And I keep telling her to leave him the fuck alone and move on, but she's got it in her head that they still belong together and doesn't realize that she's only making things worse by stalking him. And I've tried the house but all I'm getting is his machine, not to mention his phone's turned off." Nick paused, realizing that Kevin was trying to tell him something. 'Huh?"

"Nick?" Kevin waited until he knew he had the blonde's full attention.

"Yeah? What were you saying? You're where?"

"I'm with him now." There was a brief pause where Kevin was worried what Nick's reaction would be. He hated to think that he'd be upset at finding out they were together 'behind his back'. As much as Nick had professed to be okay with them being together without him, it was the first time that it had happened. Kevin hadn't been expecting Nick to exhale in relief, let alone the response that followed.

"Good. Fuck, I was so worried. I wasn't sure what he'd have done and you were the first person I thought to call. Is he okay? Have you been there all night?"

Kevin didn't speak for a few moments, still shocked at the warm reception his news had been met with by Nick.

"Kevin? Is he okay?" Nick asked again, a little louder this time.

"Oh, yeah. Well he's as good as can be expected. He phoned me at about three, freaking out. Asked me to come right away, so I did and I've been here with him since. We talked, had something to eat and he's in the shower right now..." Kevin blushed at how that sounded. He heard Nick chuckle.

"Ohhh, well if he's showering I'm sure he's just peachy keen." Nick made purring noises into the phone causing for Kevin to laugh.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Nickolas Gene. He'd had a long night and wanted to freshen up. I was a perfect gentleman."

"You were never a perfect gentleman with me Kevvy. In fact, I think some of our hottest nights were when I needed comfort and cheering up." Nick's cheeks heated up at memories of he and Kevin in years past, especially during his rocky relationship with Mandy. He would show up on Kevin's door step desolate and devastated and Kevin would take him in reminding him of how special and how loved he was. Nick could only picture how hot it was to watch Kevin console Justin in his time of need.

"I don't want to scar him for life Nick. He's very vulnerable right now and I didn't want to just throw him on the bed and pounce on him."

"Why not?" The question came in stereo startling Kevin so much he'd dropped the phone. He picked the small phone up and raised his gaze to see Justin standing in the door clad only in a towel. Kevin felt slightly embarrassed to have Justin overhear his conversation with Nick, especially that part of it. He raised the phone to his ear once more, not breaking eye contact with Justin.

"Uhhh...Hey J." Kevin could hear Nick laughing on his end.

"Ooooh, busted. Justin's there now huh?"

"Fuck you Nicky." Kevin said without a hint of anger in his voice.

"No, I'm not the one who needs it Kev. Fuck Justin baby. Fuck him good, make him feel it all over. Comfort him like you comfort me, trust me he probably needs it right now. He's lost and alone, feeling unloved. As much as he knows it's not the truth, its' what Britney brings out in him. Makes him feel inadequate and self conscious. He needs someone to take care of him. That's why I called you Kev, I know you'll be able to help him through this. I'm just really glad he called you first. I hated thinking he'd spent all night alone.. or worse yet had gone back to her."

"I thought you two were friends. You and her I mean." Kevin asked. Justin had crossed the room and sat down beside him, watching him curiously. Kevin could feel the body heat emanating from the younger man, goose bumps covered his skin.

"We are, but I'm able to see how manipulative she is. I don't agree with a lot of the things she does and says, but I can't judge her for it either. I'm no angel either. Just don't let him do anything he'll regret later. From the sounds of it she's been phoning him like crazy, not to mention that Valentine's day is just around the corner. Bad time all around." In that moment, Kevin remembered that they were supposed to have gotten married on Valentine's day, at least according to the media they were. It was going to be the wedding of the year, romantic to the gills. Justin was just that type of guy.

Justin motioned for the phone, pleading with his eyes for Kevin to hand it over. "Nick, hold on a sec."

When Kevin handed him the phone, Justin paused to take a deep breath before speaking "Hey Carter."

"Hey Jup."

There was a comfortable silence where neither of them spoke what was foremost on their minds.

"He taking good care of you?" Nick finally asked.

Justin looked up at Kevin and gave him a shy smile. "Yeah. Yeah he is."

"Good. I'm glad you called him baby. That's why I gave you his number."

"I know, me too."

"Anything I can do? I already told B to get off your case and leave you alone for a bit, to just chill with the psycho shit. But you know how she is, so I wouldn't count on it. She called me a few nasty names and hung up on me." They shared a laugh and Justin felt himself trying to calm down again. He'd gotten emotional at the sound of Nick's voice in his ear, wishing that the blonde was there with him. But as he turned his attention to the man sitting beside him, it lessened the ache. Kevin wasn't Nick, but he was someone new, different and that was pretty damn good.

"No. Kev's been here and... yeah." Justin knew he didn't need to say more, Nick would understand.

"Yeah. He's good like that. Well call if you need anything. Give him a big kiss for me and tell him to give you a big kiss for me too. Lots of tongue and maybe some good old fashioned fucking too. Do you two need me to do everything for you?"

Justin broke out into laughter that caused for his whole body to shake. It was infectious because Nick was laughing as well, followed by Kevin who was laughing in reaction to Justin's laughing. "Oh Nicky, I love you so much. Thanks for that. I'ma go now. I'm only in a towel."

"See, I knew you knew what to do. Now it's a matter of getting HIM naked and taking things from there. Now go.. get hot and sweaty and dirty so you'll have to take another shower.. this time not alone."

They spoke for a few more minutes before Justin handed Kevin the phone back, the older man noticing the way Justin's eyes were twinkling. It was amazing how with a few words from the blonde, Justin was looking more at ease than he had all night. "Nick? It's me again."

"Well, I'm glad that he called you Kev, that's why I gave him your number and you his, in case you needed each other for anything. I like knowing my boys are taken care of. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay baby, thanks again. Love you." Kevin's eyes hadn't left Justin's body, trailing from his face down to his perfectly sculpted chest and stomach and back again. The reaction that this man evoked in him overwhelmed him.

"Love you too Kev."

Kevin ended the call and placed his phone on the coffee table, smiling nervously. Justin spoke before he had a chance to. "You know, if it had have been Nick here with me, we'd have been fucking the instant he walked in the door. He'd have stripped down by the time the door closed and we probably wouldn't have made it to the bed. Once up against the wall, then probably again on the couch... bed's too far. It would have been afterwards that we'd have finally talked about it and I'd have gotten everything off my chest. You seem to work in the opposite way. Talk it all out and then fuck."

Kevin's groin tightened. He wasn't entirely sure up until this exact moment whether or not they'd be getting to the sex part of the evening tonight. They'd spent so much time talking and gotten into a comfortable position that he figured that was what Justin needed. But hearing Justin vocalize the possibility of sex brought out the reality of it. His mind wandered to the times that Nick had come to him needing comfort and realized even those times he'd gotten them comfortable and they'd talked about what was bothering him. And then, only then did they move their way into physical comfort. "I guess that's just how I am. I like to make sure that everything's okay before..."


Justin cupped Kevin's face gently and smiled. "And that's okay too. Another difference between you both. Nick's focused on physical before emotional, you like to be emotionally okay before physically. I just want to be sure that I'll be getting the physical tonight." His lips curled into a sexy smirk and Justin licked his lips. "I mean, this has been great... wonderful..." With each word Justin leaned in further, lessening the gap between their faces. "...therapeutic.. but now I'm really hot and honestly..." Justin's voice dropped a few octaves as he put his mouth next to Kevin's ear, '...kinda horny. And if it's okay with you, I'd kinda like you to fuck me."

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop and Justin felt Kevin tremble in response to his request. Overcoming his nerves, Justin untied the towel that was still wrapped around his waist and threw his leg over Kevin's lap so he sat straddling him. The feel of Kevin's denim under his bare skin heightened his arousal and he wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck.

Kevin couldn't help but look down and whimper as he saw Justin straddling him, entirely naked. Justin was fully erect, the cool hotel air causing his skin to break out in goose bumps and absolutely beautiful on his lap. When he didn't make any move, Justin tugged playfully on his tee shirt, lifting it over his head. "Please Kevin? Don't you want to throw me on the bed and pounce on me? I really want you to pounce. Take me Kevin..."

It was all Kevin needed to forcefully grab onto the back of Justin's head and pull him in to a bruising kiss, conveying the pent up sexual frustration coursing through his body. He'd initially wanted to make sure Justin was going to be okay, that he knew he wasn't alone and could count on him whenever he needed that, now that Justin seemed to be considerably better than when he'd arrived a few hours ago, all Kevin wanted to do was be inside of him. Love him and be loved by him in return. "How do you want it?"

"As long as you're inside me, I don't care." Justin slipped off of Kevin's lap and onto the floor, his hands moving up to the button and zipper on Kevin's jeans. With nimble fingers, he undid his pants and slid them down his hips and thighs until they were around his ankles. Justin moaned when Kevin's cock sprang from the denim, nothing else covering it. "All night the only thing separating me with that was these jeans? Had I known you were such a slut Kev, I'd have gone for this earlier." Justin's eyes twinkled playfully and Kevin chuckled.

"Had you answered the door in the towel you'd have found out earlier. I think that would have been the easiest way to get me in bed.. I wasn't sure what our boundaries were, so I played it safe."

Justin licked his lips and spread Kevin's legs just a little more. "I'll have to remember that for next time. Quickest way to get Kevin's pants off is to answer the door in a towel." Justin ran his tongue up the underside of Kevin's cock, suckling the head. "Or I won't wear anything. I'll open the door and just bend over the nearest flat surface. You won't even have to take your jeans off.. just unzip them and..."

Kevin growled as Justin jerked his cock with lazy strokes. He grabbed a hold of Justin's head and pulled him up for a searing kiss. When it broke he asked, "Who's the slut J?" He rubbed his thumbs on Justin's nipples causing for the younger man to whimper. They shared a smile before Kevin kissed him again, this time with passion and a gentleness that caused for Justin to tremble. "Got lube and condoms?" The way Justin's face fell at Kevin's question caused for Kevin's erection to deflate slightly.

Justin's stomach dropped as he realized he hadn't come prepared. At least not in that way. When he'd left his house, he hadn't really thought about where he was going or what he was going to do, he just needed to get out of his house and away from everything that reminded him of her. He hadn't even been sure he was going to call Kevin, let alone need any protection so all he'd grabbed was his backpack. "Fuck. No."

"Shh.. it's okay baby," Kevin reassured him, kissing Justin. He flicked his tongue against Justin's closed lips and teased him mercilessly, coaxing his own tongue to come out and play. They sat on the couch, Justin once again straddling Kevin, their heated erections grinding against one another. "We'll just..." Kevin snaked his hand down between them, grabbing onto Justin's cock and tugging it firmly.

Justin's mind went to the last time he'd used his backpack. It had been when he'd flown home a few weeks earlier, visiting Nick on the boat. He hadn't expected Kevin to be there, nor had he expected them to go on the boat so... Justin straightened his spine and pulled away slightly, causing Kevin to stop all movement. "You don't want..."

"Fuck... my bag. Side pocket..."

Kevin watched in amusement as Justin ran into the bedroom. He heard movement and Justin cursing a few times before he heard an excited yelp. "YEAH!" Justin ran back into the room and leapt from midway across the room onto the couch. In his hand he had a white make-up bag.

"You want me to do your make-up?" Kevin chuckled. The laughter turned into a moan when Justin began to kiss him, stopping only when he was breathless. "It's been a while but I'm sure I could do it without making you look like a two dollar hooker."

"No... I always keep this in my bag... the side pocket. It looks like a makeup case and no one usually asks to look inside it." Proudly, Justin unzipped the case to find a handful of multicolored condoms and individual sized packages of lube. Justin blushed at the expression of amusement on Kevin's face. "I'd stocked up last time.. it was just before visiting Nick in Marathon. Trace and I had gone to this sex shop in Amsterdam a few days before and..." Justin sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You complaining Richardson?"

Kevin laughed and rolled so that he was hovering over Justin. "No. I just think that you're..." He let his gaze trail up and down Justin's body, licking a path up his chest to his jaw. "Fucking sexy... beautiful.. adorable... and going to get one of the best fuckings of your life." Kevin took Justin in a fast kiss before pulling away. "And now I just have to decide how I'm going to fuck you."

"I was hoping to ride you..." Justin's finger traced Kevin's jaw. "But this is good too. You hovering over me. I'll take it any way I can get it right now."

"For some reason I didn't picture you as being so subservient Justin. I figured you'd be a little more in control.. put up more of a fight." Kevin saw something in flash in Justin's eyes and watched as the younger man's face turned soft with emotion.

"Sometimes I like to be out of control. Have someone else in charge for once so I don't have to be the strong one all the time." He turned his head to the side so that Kevin couldn't look into his eyes.

Kevin regretted having said anything as he watched Justin's face. He'd meant it to be light and playful and should have known now was not the time for it. Gently, he lowered himself on top of the younger man, trying to fit them both on the narrow couch. "I'm sorry... I .."

Justin turned his head back and laid his finger over Kevin's lips. "Shhh. I know."

"I want to take care of you. Give you what you need."

"I need you Kevin. You inside me." They'd lost some of the momentum, but Justin began to grind up against Kevin's body and it was quickly returning.

"As much as I'd love to watch you ride me, I think I'd rather be like this. Over top of you, showing you just how special you are and being able to see you look up at me, knowing that it's me who's bringing you so much pleasure." Kevin leaned down to flick his tongue against Justin's jaw, planting sporadic kisses up to his ear. "I just want to bring this to the bed baby, spread you out so we can take our time. We've got all night..."

"It's morning Kev.." Justin moaned, giving in to the emotions Kevin's voice was bringing out in him.

"Then we've got all day. We're not leaving here until you're fully satisfied." Kevin lifted himself off of Justin's body and pulled the younger man up on his feet. Their mouths met in a gentle kiss where Kevin could feel how compliant Justin was against his body. He had complete control over this beautiful man, a gift that Kevin fully realized he held in his hands.

"What if I'm satisfied now?" Justin teased playfully. He didn't expect the look of raw hunger in the older man's eyes, the way his whole body seemed to slide sensuously against his own.

"When you're completely satisfied Justin, you'll know. It's going to hurt so much but feel so fucking good."

Justin whimpered. He allowed Kevin to lead him towards the bedroom, crawling up when they reached the spacious bed. The sheets were pulled down and he made himself comfortable in the middle, legs bent at the knees and spread just slightly. His eyes didn't leave Kevin, who was standing over him, as if contemplating what to do next. A full body shiver coursed from head to toe as Kevin climbed onto the bed, starting a trail of kisses from the ends of his toes up his legs. Kevin stopped to lick and nudge at his fully erect cock, only smiling as Justin whimpered pathetically. "Please... need you Kevin."

"You'll get me when it's time baby, I want you to want me. I want you to crave and hunger for me."

It was only when Justin's cock was weeping at the tip, his eyes clenched tight and his hands balled into fists that Kevin reached for a condom and lube, setting them on the bed beside him. "I don't know when I first started to want you." He began to speak, outlining Justin's pucker with his index finger. "You went from Justin Timberlake, pain in the ass, to Justin Timberlake, I want to get inside that ass. I could never understand what it was that Nick saw in you. You said that he was always talking about me, well it was the same with you. He was always saying how awesome you were, and how you were one of his best friends and just that you were pretty much the coolest guy outside of Backstreet that he'd ever met."

Justin whimpered as Kevin's finger dipped inside of him, pushing past the tight ring of muscle. He didn't dare slide it in any further than the first knuckle, but for Justin it was pure torture. He wanted more but Kevin wouldn't oblige. "Fuck..."

"And then you both started fooling around. Or at least in the beginning it was just fooling around. Making out here, fumbling with each others' cocks there, all just experimenting on those cold German nights when you had nothing else to do than play with each other, literally. I always thought that he'd grow out of it, that you'd both grow out of it. But you didn't. And then you just pretty much became a fixture with Nick. The only constant in his life, and I guess I just got used to you being around." Kevin slipped the finger in to the middle knuckle, circling it around and feeling Justin clench around him. He loved the reaction he was garnering from Justin, the desperation in on his face, the pleading in his sighs.

Justin's back was arched off of the bed as he tried to work himself on Kevin's finger. He begged for Kevin to add another digit, but he only received a laugh and a kiss to the forehead in response. Kevin clearly wasn't finished with his teasing and Justin didn't know how much longer he'd be able to hold on.

"And then one day I opened my eyes. I can't remember where we were or what we were doing, but I looked up and there you were. So fucking gorgeous. You weren't that twelve year old kid anymore, you were this young man who was a lot more beautiful than should be allowed. I wanted to touch you. Kiss you. Lick and taste you. I wanted to feel your body next to mine, your skin against mine. But most of all, I wanted to get inside your head. Find out what I've been missing all these years. I want to KNOW you, in every possible sense of the word."

Kevin withdrew his finger and added two more. He was more focused on stretching Justin rather than teasing him now, as his own need for release was becoming imminent. It wasn't clear when Kevin's teasing had gone from withholding release from Justin, to that of himself, and Kevin was finding it hard to hold off. So in that moment, he realized that it was time to proceed with more. To put Justin at a better position, Kevin raised the younger man's legs over his shoulders, impressed with his dexterity. He afforded himself a chance to look down, breathless at the sight of Justin spread open and waiting for him, face covered with sweat and body trembling with desire.

"You are so damn beautiful." Kevin's voice was barely a breath in the silent room. He let his finger move down the centre of Justin's chest, circling his belly button and down to the tip of his cock. Kevin sat in awe as he watched it twitch violently under his finger.



Justin tightened his grip on Kevin's arms, arching his back as a result of the feather light touch of Kevin's finger. He let out a low, tortured moan and begged for mercy. "Please Kevin... Not going..." As the older man bent down and captured one nipple in his mouth, between his teeth, Justin felt any resolve he'd been holding let go. With curled toes, clenching muscles and a whimpered cry, Justin felt his cock spasm and explode, shooting strands of milky white cream up and not only on his own chest, but on Kevin's as well. His eyes had immediately closed tightly while his whole body shook with the force of his orgasm.

Kevin leaned down further, lapping up at Justin's chest. "Wasn't expecting that.. but I'm not complaining," he said with a smirk. When he was certain Justin's breathing had gone at least somewhat back to normal, Kevin reached up and took him in a passionate kiss, allowing Justin to taste himself on his tongue. "Now, are you ready for me?"

Justin opened his eyes tiredly, feeling the weight of the night catch up to him. He gave a sated smile and nodded his head. It was one of the most painful feelings of his life as Kevin pushed steadily into him. Despite how many times he'd been with Nick, it always took a while to get used to the absolutely full feeling of having someone inside of him, especially someone as large as Kevin seemed to be. Not seemed to be, was, and Kevin wasn't a small boy. Not by any means. But at the same time it was a different type of pain than he was feeling at the moment, so it was welcome. It was a physical pain rather than the emotional pain Britney was inflicting on him, and as Justin's eyes locked with Kevin's, he could see the pure emotion behind their depths. "He was right." Justin hadn't meant to say it out loud so the words surprised him as much as they did Kevin.

"Who?" Kevin grunted. He was having trouble focusing on anything except the extreme tightness of Justin's body around his cock. It was taking all of Kevin's will power to refrain from throwing all caution to the wind and pushing himself in roughly and fucking Justin senseless. He wanted nothing more than to use the younger man's body as a vessel to his own pleasure, but it wasn't the time for that. Not this time anyways, that could come later. Now was special, now was for Justin's piece of mind. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Justin's forehead, locking gazes with the younger man.

"Nick." Justin ran his fingers through Kevin's hair, pressing his bangs off of his forehead. It was as if he was trying to memorize everything about the moment, wanting it to last forever. He smiled and brought Kevin's face down so that they could share a sweet kiss. "He told me one time that the first time he'd ever really felt loved, ever felt like he was comfortable in his own skin was when the two of you were together. I don't know what had happened, but you two had gotten together one night and at one point he looked up and you were over top of him, looking down at him and he couldn't help but cry."

Kevin smiled, remembering the incident fondly. There was only one time that Justin could be referring to and Kevin could recall every detail of that night in frightening clarity. It was the first and only time Nick had ever cried while they made love and despite Nick's embarrassment, Kevin had found the moment endearing. "I remember. It was the night we won our first award. He was so nervous and excited and she... Mandy" Kevin spat her name out with the hatred he felt for her. "She had robbed him of any joy he had. So I took him back to the hotel and..." Kevin smiled. "Well I'm sure you know what happened."

"I do," Justin shifted his hips, whimpering as Kevin slid out just a little. He felt Kevin push back in and his eyes rolled back into his head with pleasure. "Oh fuck.." Justin exhaled and fought off the urge to grind up against Kevin. "He told me that there was nothing more beautiful than having Kevin Richardson looking down at you with that look in his eyes. That look which makes you feel like you're the only thing he sees, that you're the most important person in the entire world. And I wasn't sure, I mean, I've been on the receiving end of that look from Nick,

and I'm sure you know how beautiful, how breathtaking the view is."

Kevin nodded, licking his lips. Kevin did know how intense it could get with Nick hovering and looking down on you with an expression of absolute adoration and raw passion.

"But right now, I think it's a dead even tie. He's right Kevin, I feel like I'm the only person in the entire world that matters."

Kevin leaned down, eliminating the space between them as he took Justin's mouth in a sensual, erotic kiss. He let his tongue stroke leisurely at the roof of Justin's mouth and playing with Justin's tongue. Both men shivered at the intimacy of the kiss. "That's because you are baby."

Justin let out a soft mewling sound as he pulled Kevin's body tighter against his own. As he buried his face in the older man's neck, he tightened his legs around his waist. "Please Kevin, I want to feel you moving inside me."

"Anything you want J, anything you want." Kevin pulled out slowly, only to push back in with a little more speed. The pace was steady at first, both men working together to bring each other to their release. Justin licked and sucked at the skin on Kevin's neck and shoulder, enjoying the moans and grunts that his love bites were bringing out of Kevin. There was nothing sweeter than the sound of Kevin's voice in his ear, enjoying himself as much as Justin was.

"So good Kev.. you are so fucking good." Justin growled loudly as Kevin punched into his prostate. He felt his whole body twitch and knew his release wasn't far off.

"Want you to cum baby. Cum for me..."

"Almost..." Justin managed to unclench his hand from where it was firmly rooted on Kevin's bicep and snaked it down between their bodies so he could grab a hold of his cock. It was aching and sensitive, the feel of his hand around it causing for Justin to whimper and jerk his hips. The shift of his hips caused for Kevin to slide in at a new angle, deeper than before. Justin squeezed the head of his cock, thumbing the slit roughly before sliding his fist down to the base and back up again. Along with the sensation of Kevin pushing in fast and hard, Justin couldn't hold back any longer and exploded. His lips parted as he was about to scream, Kevin covered his mouth with his own to swallow the sound. Justin's eyes opened in surprise, his face contorted into a mask of pain.

Kevin knew that the pain in Justin's features was that pure pleasure. Sometimes you came so hard it hurt, which only made it feel that much better. "Let it go baby... you are so fucking hot cumming for me." Kevin licked his way to Justin's ear, whispering hotly into his ear. "Show me how good it feels."

Justin brought Kevin's mouth back to his own, engaging him in a sloppy kiss. He couldn't focus on one thing long enough and without realizing it, had bit down roughly on Kevin's lower lip. He felt the older man jerk inside of him, Kevin's grip on his hips tightening to an almost painful pressure.

Kevin had been holding off until that point, wanting to make sure Justin had cum before he let himself go. But with that one jolt of pain, along side the increasing tightness of Justin's body around his already throbbing erection, Kevin couldn't hold off any longer. He let out a painful grunt before he was emptying himself out into the condom. His body was slick with sweat, sliding sinuously against Justin's skin as they continued to work each other through their orgasms.

The air in the room had long since settled, the stench of sex lingering around them. Justin's chest had finally stopped heaving with frantic gasps for oxygen and his breathing had evened out. Kevin's body felt heavy and warm on top of him, although Justin wouldn't have changed it for the world. With a tired hand, he gently stroked Kevin's back, up and down his spine in a repetitive motion. It was when he felt Kevin shiver and goose bumps appear that he grinned, turning his head to kiss Kevin's temple. "You okay?"

Kevin nodded his head, which was resting comfortably in the hollow of Justin's neck. He tightened his hold on the younger man, shifting just slightly. "Yeah. You?"

"Never been better."

Although Justin couldn't see it, Kevin raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Never?" He questioned, finding that hard to believe. He'd been with Nick.. he'd been with a lot of people, and he knew that Justin had been with Nick and... a lot of people, and didn't believe for one moment that Justin had NEVER been better. He received a giggle in response.

"Never in the limited memory of sex that I can recall right now. Right now you pretty much own the rights on never being better."

Kevin lifted his head so he could press his mouth against Justin's. They shared a handful of kisses before resting back again. "Good. I'm glad." Although he knew they should shower, Kevin couldn't find the energy to get up. Removing and tying the condom to get rid of it had taken more energy than he had, and how he'd managed to actually get the damn thing in the garbage had been beyond him. So being curled up in Justin's arms was exactly where he was going to stay until he had full functioning in his lower body. "I'm glad you called, this was fun."

Justin broke out into a fit of laughter, causing for Kevin to whine at the intrusion on his comfortable and peaceful post-orgasmic bliss. "Fun? I'm glad you called, this was fun?" He mock questioned, slapping Kevin's ass playfully. "God... just push me out of the bed and tell me you'll call me again some time Kevin. Or better yet, just say that you like me, but only as a friend."

"What? I did have fun! I am glad you called."

"You Kevin Richardson, are whack! Do you say that to all the men you have hot, steamy melt off your socks sex with?"

Kevin blushed, causing for Justin to laugh harder.

"Exactly. But knowing your mind, I'll just say you're welcome. I'm glad I called too and yes, it was fun. We WILL do it again sometime."

"I'm just saying.. I had a fun time. Better than had I just stayed home alone last night. My right hand thanks you." Kevin smirked as Justin's eyes bulged open. It was only when he saw Kevin's face that he started to laugh, understanding that Kevin was joking.

"You're such a fucking prick."

Kevin nodded. "That I am. I'm sure you already knew that before though."

Justin laid back down allowing Kevin to once again rest his head on his chest. As he stroked the older man's hair, Justin smiled. "I did. It's part of your charm though. I like you the way you are." And he did, the thing that Justin hadn't expected was just how much he was starting to like Kevin. He'd liked the man before, what limited knowledge he had of him personally, but after that morning and the night before, Justin was finding out quickly just how diverse Kevin was. How different he was from Justin's opinion of him. Justin hadn't expected his emotions to go past physical, a desire to get off, and have Kevin be the one to do that for him. But even before they'd gotten to the naked portion of the evening, Justin had felt a sense of calm, a sense of protection and comfort that he didn't have all too often. There was only a handful of people that Justin could honestly say that he felt 100% comfortable around, and up until that night he never once believed that Kevin would be a
 person on that list.

Now, hours later, Justin felt content to be lying in Kevin's arms, not only his body bare to him, but his soul as well. He had revealed things to Kevin that he'd never have dared tell anyone outside of his inner core of people. Kevin knew pieces of Justin that until that night, had been kept under lock and key, and with absolute certainty, Justin knew he could trust the older man. And that was key, trust. Justin opened his eyes to find Kevin's face now on the pillow, a few inches away from his own. He gave the older man a shy smile.

"You must be exhausted." Kevin whispered before first kissing Justin's forehead, then his eyelids followed by his nose. Justin only nodded in response. "Get some sleep baby, everything else will work it self out later."

"You'll stay?" Justin asked as he felt himself already succumbing to sleep. When he didn't get an answer right away, he opened his eyes. Kevin was watching him with adoring eyes. "Please?" He tightened his hold on Kevin, indicating he didn't want him to leave.

"Of course. As long as you want."

"Good, not ready to let you go yet."

Kevin's heart skipped a few beats at Justin's sleepy admission. In truth, he wasn't ready to let Justin go just yet either. It was nice to hear that the younger man felt the same way. Kevin couldn't help but smile into the pillow, feeling like a lovesick teenager. There was just something about the way Justin looked at him, or touched him, or even just his presence in Kevin's life that made Kevin want him near, all the time. It was similar to his feelings about Nick but different, although he wasn't certain yet as to what the difference was exactly. All he knew was that he shuddered to think about what would have happened had Justin not phoned him that night.

So many times he'd wanted to call the younger man, for any reason what so ever just to talk to him or have an excuse to see him. Without Nick, it seemed awkward for Kevin to initiate some sort of contact with Justin, but at the same time wanted nothing more than to see and spend time with him. Kevin hadn't been this nervous around someone since he was younger, a lot younger. Maybe never, which right there indicated to Kevin how special Justin was. It was definitely something he was going to have to talk to Nick about, find out his opinion on things. As confident as he was that Justin felt the same way, there was just too many underlying emotions and factors to deal with not to take things slowly.

Kevin felt Justin's breathing level out and he tightened his arms, hugging Justin close. It was only when he was certain that Justin had fallen asleep that Kevin allowed himself the same luxury, dreams of what was to come when they woke up flashing in his mind.

Finis

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