Title:Maybe... Just Once

Author:Jules - mailto:slash_me_baby@yahoo.com

Part:2 of the Just Feel Trilogy

Genre: Slash

Pairings:Nick/Kevin, Brian/AJ

Disclaimer: This is not real, it never happened.

Maybe... Just Once
by Jules

Chapter 1

~Kevin~

My breath was coming in gasps. I couldn't grasp it if I tried. My head was spinning and I thought my heart was going to explode. Too many sensations all at once. The room went black and I wondered if this was the end. No. I had just closed my eyes. I opened them again and my vision was regained. Fuck. What was wrong with me? Oh yeah, that's right I remember now. I tilted my head down and smiled, seeing the most beautiful man I had ever been graced with knowing, and my head started to spin again. "That's it Nicky... Damn your mouth feels so good." I heard myself moan, grabbing a fist full of his hair as his mouth rose and fell on my cock.

Hearing my voice his eyes raised, meeting mine, pace never once stopping. He winked at me as he started to suck harder, more fevered, obviously enjoying my reaction to what he was doing to me. And then his hand danced up my leg, grazing my thigh and resting on my balls. He stroked them softly, adding to the sensations that were wracking my body. Remembering what we were doing before Nick threw me on the couch and began to give me the most amazing blow job I had ever been given, I checked my watch. Shit shit shit. AJ was going to be here in only 20 minutes. We so needed to get ready. Don't want him getting here and finding us like this, me completely naked and Nick half dressed sucking my cock like a baby sucking a bottle. Although, he did look fucking sexy as hell while doing it. Shaking my head I moaned loudly, feeling Nick chuckle against me. "Nicky...we... OH FUCK..." He started to hum. He fucking started to hum. He knows what that does to me, as long as he doesn't start to rim me with his finger I'll be... "GOD DAMN..." He did it. There's no way I'm gonna be able to stop him now. I need to cum and I need to fucking cum now. Shit I checked my watch again, 14 minutes until AJ gets here. "Nicky...AJ's gonna be here soon.... 14 ...minutes" I was panting now, voice barely audible. And then he stopped. My whole world stopped as the suction around my cock stopped.

I saw Nick check his watch and smirk at me, licking his lips. "Don't worry Kev. You'll have time to cum, kiss me and taste how fucking delicious you are, and get dressed all before Bone gets here. You have my word on it." And then he winked at me again before lowering his head back to my lap.

Damned if he wasn't right. I came only minutes later, screaming his name as well as other choice expletives. When I had finally stopped shaking, he pulled me up and kissed me so thoroughly, so passionately I just wanted to crawl right into his skin and stay there. Tasting myself on Nick's talented tongue got me semi hard again and I groaned as he pulled away. Whispering into my ear, he licked the outer lobe and said, "You have 6 minutes to get dressed and be presentable for Bone. Told ya so." And with that he walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and hair. I wasted 3 of that 6 minutes staring after him, wondering how I had gotten so lucky.

"You're wasting time baby. Get dressed." He called, knowing that I hadn't moved. I laughed and started getting dressed. AJ'd be here in less than 3 minutes.

~Nick~

God how I loved that man. I never thought I would be able to love another person this much, but I do. I love him more than anyone or anything in the world. Sometimes I just sit there, watch him and wonder how I got so lucky. Wonder what I did to deserve someone as beautiful as Kevin. And he is beautiful. And mine. I finished brushing my teeth, finished getting the taste of Kevin from my mouth. I didn't think AJ would appreciate that too much. Imagining the look on AJ's face if he knew what we had just been doing while waiting for him to get here, I started to giggle. He was the only person that knew about Kevin and I. We hadn't told anyone about us yet. Wanted to wait. Well... That's not entirely true. Someone else does know..did know...no, does know. She still knows even though she chooses to ignore it. Ignore me. Staring at myself in the mirror I began to think about that night months ago. The memories flooding me like it was just yesterday.

Kevin had just told me that AJ knew. We were in the elevator and he said that AJ knew, I asked him what AJ

knew. He said about us. It was the first time we had been verbally considered as an us and I wanted to cry. Wanted to jump up and down and scream with joy, run and yell it from the rooftop. Kevin Richardson and I, Nickolas Carter were an us. I was the happiest man in the entire world and in that instant, looking at the expression on Kevin's face as I touched him, examined him, I knew I was in love. I went into my hotel room and sat down, knowing what I needed to do. My mother had always told me, that as soon as I fell in love, as soon as I knew I was in love and it was real, to tell her. She wanted to be the first to know when I realized it so she could hear the love in my voice. So I called her. It was pretty late but she didn't mind. That was until she found out why I was calling.

"Mom...I had to call and tell you as soon as I could." I said beaming.

Her voice was so loving, so warm. "Oh Nickolas. What's going on. You sound so happy."

"I am mom. I'm in love. I'm so much in love and it's great." I heard her gasp with excitement and I smiled. This was great, it was going to be great.

"Oh honey. That's wonderful. Who is she?" I cringed when she said she. Taking a deep breath I continued.

"Well mom... It's not exactly..." I could hear her frown over the phone. The thought of her not being happy for me, not understanding never once crossed my mind. Until that exact minute.

"What do you mean Nickolas. Who is SHE?" She stressed the word SHE. As if she knew.

"Well.. It's not a she mom. It's... It's Kevin. We're an us." I closed my eyes and prayed.

"Nickolas Gene Carter. Don't you dare phone me up at this hour of the night to tell me that you're in love with another man. That is just ridiculous. I don't know what you think you're trying to prove, but this just isn't going to fly." Her voice had turned into steel. I couldn't stop the tears that were forming in my eyes.

"But mom... I love him. I'm in love with him. And I think he's in love with me too." I was sobbing now.

"No son of mine is going to be in what he thinks is LOVE with another MAN Nickolas."

"But I am. I'm in love with him mamma." My world was ending. I could tell she stopped listening.

"As long as you live this charade Nickolas, you are no longer my son. I didn't raise you to be one of those people...I don't know what Kevin's done to you, but you are no longer a part of this family. This is wrong Nickolas. You know it's wrong, how could you do such a thing to us?"

She hung up right after that, leaving me devastated. We hadn't always gotten along but she was my mother. The only mother I had. I cried all night, wondering what I should do. By the time the sun came up I hadn't slept at all. Just lied in the fetal position and cried. I needed to be by myself. Think about things. Think about Kevin. About my mom. About my life. So I went to his room to tell him I was going off by myself. As soon as he opened the door I knew I couldn't live without him. Wouldn't live without him. And here we were now. 3 months later.

I hadn't heard anyone come to the door or Kevin let AJ in. I just stood there in front of the mirror staring at my reflection, barely registering the silent tears that were falling. This always happened when I thought of that night. Thought about how I almost gave in, almost passed up the most important thing in my life. It wasn't until I felt Kevin's arms wrapped around me that I woke from the memories.

"I love you baby. Don't ever doubt that." He whispered into my ear, kissing me softly. It was as if he knew what I was thinking.

"I know." I whispered back, sniffling.

"Now come on. Bone's out there waiting for us." He said, leading me into the dining room to see the smaller man sitting on the couch, slightly uncomfortable, eyes darting around the room.

~AJ~

I could tell that they had just had sex in this room. And if it wasn't full blown sex, it was pretty damn close to it. You could smell it in the air, feel it in the aura of the room. Kevin led Nick out of the bathroom and I knew that something had happened. His eyes were red and he looked as if he had been crying. I thought maybe I shouldn't be here. Should leave them alone. But they insisted I stay. We'd made plans so we were going to all do something together. The three of us.

It had been just the three of us for quite some time now. Ever since that day at Jive records. When Bri and D

left them behind and they had had sex in the elevator. I was one of the only people they let into their inner circle of people knowing that they were together, so naturally we became closer. I was curious about their relationship. About the mechanics of everything. The physical of course, but also the emotional, the spiritual connection of being that close to another person. I craved that, needed that, dreamed of that. But the whole gay sex thing...definitely curious about that. If I said I wasn't strangely turned on by the thought of Nick and Kevin having sex, I'd be lying. I was. I wondered who fucked who, who sucked who. Did they do it on their knees or missionary position. How did it feel to have another man's cock in your ass? These questions plagued me. Often times I've found myself fantasizing about Nick and Kevin, what it would be like to be with them, to kiss them , to even just watch them. I felt myself start to get hard and had to think about something else.

"So what are we gonna do tonight?" I heard myself ask. My voice was strange to my ears, laced with lust. Gotta stop thinking about this.

Nick and Kevin just smiled at each other. It was as if they had a plan or something.

"Let's go to a club that we heard about." Nick said wiggling his eyebrows at Kev, and then me. I didn't like the look on his face. This meant trouble.

"Yeah Nicky. Sounds good. What do you think Bone?"

Then it hit me. Fuck! I knew what they were up to. "Is this one of your "GAY" clubs?" I asked, quoting the GAY part.

"Perhaps Bone. What do you say?" Nick said, eyes sparkling.

I think I shocked the hell out of them. "Sure. Why the fuck not." I was curious. I wanted to know what their world was like. And I was trying desperately to convince myself that I was just going to humour them. To show that I wasn't afraid. It wasn't working, but at least I was trying.