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Title: The Life and Loves of Nickolas Gene Carter
Author: Jules
Parts: 12
Pairing: Nick/???
Rating: From PG to NC 17
Disclaimer: This is fiction for the purpose of entertainment. Not true. Not in the least.
Warning: Slash warning. Bigroupal warning.

Table of Contents:
Prologue: Memories Found
Part 2: Alexander James McLean
Part 3: Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick
Part 4: Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr.
Part 5: Kevin Scott Richardson
Part 6: Joshua Scott Chasez
Part 7: Justin Randall Timberlake
Part 8: Brian Thomas Littrell
Part 9: Howard Dwayne Dorough
Part 10: James Lance Bass
Part 11: Aaron Charles Carter (not slash!)
Epilogue: Happily Ever After

The Life and Loves of Nickolas Gene Carter
by Jules

Prologue: Memories Found

Looking back on his life, Nick Carter was actually a pretty lucky guy. If he stopped to eliminate all of the people in his world that made things harder rather than easier on him, all of the lessons he'd rather have not learned the hard way and everything that happened that turned out to only keep him down rather than push him forward, he had a life of gold. But then again, if those instances had been eliminated, he may not have turned out to be the person he was today. And truth be told, Nickolas Gene Carter was one hell of a man.

Every decision made ultimately affects who you become. Where you end up in the world, and settling back in his luxury patio chair on his expansive deck overlooking the ocean, Nick is certain that he is pretty damn happy with where he's ended up. Looking over at his lover who has fallen asleep in his own chair, Nick feels his heart swell with an undying, unconditional love that has lasted almost fifty years and can only thank the powers above that graced him with such fortune. Monetary and spiritual. He had long since accepted the fact that he must have some sort of guardian angel looking after him, ensuring his happiness and safety. And without that angel, he wasn't sure he'd have survived the fairy tale life that God handed him so many years ago. There were people who searched their entire lives for one tenth of the happiness that he himself had found. Granted, he had seen as many hard times as he had good, but in the end he had overcome. Overcome everything that threatened his well being.

There had been times that he'd been close to the end. Walking a fine line and tempted just to plunge into darkness. End things before someone could end them for him. Although he's not entirely certain that he would have been able to consciously end his own life, the thought had crossed his mind more than once. Especially when bouts of depression and hopelessness overtook his thought process. He hadn't had a typical childhood. Typical adolescence. Typical anything. He could rightfully be considered as the atypical poster child. His world had been skewed as far back as he could remember, and any semblance of a normal upbringing was filed back in his repressed memory bank. Sex, drugs, lies and music were his life, sometimes to the point where he didn't know what he would ever do without any or all of them present. They were his lifeline, something that he wasn't proud of but something he couldn't help. Down times from touring and recording were the worst because it provided him with time. Time to reflect on th
e things he'd done. The things he'd said, and most of all the man he was quickly becoming. The easiest thing to do at those points of his life would have been to allow the drugs and alcohol to take over, rule his life. It was during those times that his angel was there stronger than ever, steering him towards the path he so desperately wanted to take but had strayed from.


Perhaps he'd had four guardian angels. Perhaps there had been nine. But in the end, there was one individual that stood out and became his light at the end of the tunnel. The light he found himself following blindly, knowing deep in his soul, in his heart that they would never hurt him. They would always be there for him when he couldn't be there for himself. When no one else could be there for him either. THEY were his reason for living, even if neither of them quite knew it at the time.

And that person was the reason that Nick was thankful for each tear he'd been made to cry. Each wish he'd had that it all would end. Each breath that he'd wasted on someone or something that wasn't worth it. Because in his darkest hours, in his brightest moments, they were there with him. Loving him, guiding him, accepting him. And in finding 'the one', he'd gained eight other friends. Confidants. Lovers. There was no word to accurately describe how important those men were to him, still are to him. No one word could sum up the emotion, the love, the importance they held in his heart during that period of his life. Nick had tried for forty-five years to find that word, and still, he came up blank. He had long since decided to stop trying to define it and just embrace it. Enjoy it for what it was, not what others would want to label it as. And although so much time had passed between now and that era, it was like no time had passed at all. As if he could just step into a time warp and be right there in the m
oment, living it as if it were happening right now.

They were his nine best friends. The nine people who knew him best in the world and loved him no matter what. They knew his faults and still supported him. He could say something stupid, do something even more stupid and they would still be around the next day. There weren't a lot of people in his life that he could say that about. Even to this day. That cared for him more than they cared for his name and stature. He loved each of them in their own ways. Just subtle, small things about them that made Nick realize he couldn't live without them in his life. Then or now.

"You look deep in thought baby," the voice broke Nick from his thoughts, causing him to jump slightly. Looking up, he found himself gazing into his lovers' intense eyes. "You okay?"

Nodding Nick grinned. "Just thinking babe. My mind just started to wander." He reached his hand over to take the other man's, entwining their fingers together. A spark flowed up his arm and Nick's eyes went to their joined hand, amazed that after all these years, he still felt a jolt of electricity when they touched.

"What are you thinking about?"

Nick closed his eyes and rested his head back on his chair. He could feel a thumb gently massaging his palm and he took a deep breath before answering. "The guys. Old times. Everything." His revelation was met with silence and Nick opened his eyes and turned his head. "Just how lucky I am."

"How lucky we both are." Their voice was soft, their grip tightening.

"How lucky we both are," Nick echoed. He tugged their joined hands indicating that he wanted them to join him on his chair. In a matter of moments, they were wrapped around each other, snugly cuddling. "But I was just remembering how things were, how much I love all of you. How I miss it sometimes. I mean, I know we had to grow up sometime, but those ten years were just ...so amazing. I wouldn't change even one detail, one anything."

"I know what you mean. After the hiatus ...everyone's break for sanity, I wasn't so sure that things would work out, but they did. But even then it wasn't the same. It was good, I won't deny that, but it was different. We were all more ..." He paused to find the words he was looking for, "...jaded. More determined the second time around. There wasn't that same high we had the first time when everything was so new and exciting. We knew too much to be able to enjoy it. Always watching our backs, unable to enjoy anything for what it was."

"Exactly," Nick agreed. He leaned in to kiss his lover thoroughly, sucking on his tongue until he could feel them both becoming hard between them. With a moan, he pulled away and fought to catch his breath. "And now, now everyone has just gone off and are doing their own things. Everyone's so wrapped up in their lives that ...we don't seem to have as much time for everyone as we did. I miss that closeness. Knowing that I could step off of my bus, out of my hotel room and have someone in a stone's throwing distance."

"True. But we know that if we needed any of them, they'd be there in a heart beat for us. Just like we'd do the same for them."

"Yeah. I guess." Nick relaxed against his lover's body, closing his eyes for a few moments. He just wanted to enjoy the moment and as he felt them relax as well, he allowed for his mind to wander. "I just ..sometimes I wish that things could go back to that. For just a day." His lover's hand stroked his hair gently and Nick could hear him agree softly.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but Nick regained full consciousness when he felt his lover's body rumble with laughter. He must have fallen asleep. "What?" Nick questioned, tightening his hold on them pressing a sleepy kiss to the hollow of their throat.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Why?"

"Well, one minute you're just laying there asleep, the next you're sporting wood and I'm waiting for you to start humping my leg. At your age and still fucking horny as hell. I always knew it would be like this."

Nick laughed as he reached down to cup the growing bulge in his pants. "I know that's why you stayed with me so long. Anyone else would be shriveled up and useless right now. But with my Carter genes, you know I'm gonna be horny and ready to fuck up until the time I die." He got a nod in response.

"That's exactly why I've put up with you for all these years. The sex." They shared a loving look and a gentle kiss between them. "But seriously baby, what are you thinking about? WHO are you thinking about?"

"What makes you think it's not you?" Nick flashed his infamous smirk and growled against their mouth, kissing them once again.

"I'm right here. You don't have to think about what you could do to me ...what you have done to me, you'd just be doing it. So you're probably thinking about the guys. And I remember what a big man whore you were back them. I mean, our in house groupie ... I think you were the only one who actually had all nine of us. Ten if you count yourself, because I know you practiced self love every day..." Both men laughed at that statement, knowing how true it was. Nick was probably the only member of their collective groups that had the other nine as a lover at least once, and more often than not repeatedly. "And so ...what and who were you thinking about? Details baby."

Nick giggled and covered his face with his hands.

"Oh fuck, you're how old and still get embarrassed? I'm starting to think that innocent little school boy act you put on ISN'T an act!!" The man mumbled under his breath, tickling Nick's sides playfully. "Now tell me."

"I was just thinking about ...all of you. You all meant something different to me. Still do, but during that time I just ...felt something different for each of you. Different but the same because I loved ...still love you all. I don't know if I'm making myself clear." Nick took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts. "I can still remember how it felt to be there, in those moments.. and not even just with sex. Although, I admit I did fuck each of you at one point or another and all around, you're all really hot in the sack. Or at least you were then, now ....I don't know." They both giggled, Nick feeling his lover smack his arm playfully. "But it wasn't always sex. It was just ...being there with you." Nick looked into his lover's eyes hoping that what he was trying to say was coming across clearly. When they nodded he smiled. One eyebrow raised and Nick blushed again. "But yeah, the sex was fucking hot. It's pretty much what kept me coming back, again and again."

"Tell me." They whispered softly, running their fingers through his hair. "Please?"

"Tell you what?"

"What you were thinking? What was going through your mind when you were thinking about everyone?" When Nick didn't respond, they continued. "Unless you don't want to. That's cool too. But I just want to see us through your eyes."

"No, it's not that. I just don't know if I can explain it properly. Do it justice, you know?"

"Try. For me."

As much as Nick was with each of them. As much as they were all with each other, it wasn't something that was spoken of all that freely. Living in such tight quarters it was hard not to hear things, to stumble upon other peoples' business, but for the most part they were all very closed up about their private lives. About what laid deeper than superficial observations. What and who they did behind closed doors was not widely discussed, at least not in the later years. The media and fans had always been under the impression that they weren't friends, the two groups. That NSYNC and Backstreet Boys were enemies. They couldn't have been further from the truth. Granted, there were fights and disagreements, but it didn't go as deep as people thought it did. It was just something that only the ten of them could understand, and even then sometimes they didn't get it a lot of the time. "Are you serious baby? You want to know? To hear it?"

They nodded. "Yeah Nicky. I want to know what it is about each of them you love so much. What your mind pulls up when you hear their name. Just ...even if it is one moment in time that stands out in your mind, I'd like you to share that with me."

Nick stood up and headed into the house, not saying a word. He could feel a pair of eyes watching him curiously. He could practically hear the question running through their mind of what they'd done wrong to upset him. Nick wasn't upset. Not in the least. Moments later he came through the patio door, a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hand. He smiled at the worried expression on his lover's face, pleased when it disappeared and a relieved grin replaced it. Nick filled the two glasses taking one and handing the other off. He slid back onto the chair, curling up once again with his lover.

"You really want to know?" This was their last chance to back out. Once it was out there, it was out there for good. He received a nod in response. Nick took a deep breath to will the butterflies down in his stomach. They always surfaced when he let himself *really* remember what it was like for him for the years between 12 and 23. Everything he'd experienced, everything he'd seen and done. Sometimes it felt like it had happened to someone else entirely and he was just remembering the script, the movie. "Okay. Here goes..."

End Part 1

Part 2: Alexander James McLean

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