Title: The Cat's Out Of The Bag Author:Jules Part:1/1 Series:5 of Letterboys in Love (Sub series of Fetish) FINALE Feedback:Yes Please - mailto:slash_me_baby@yahoo.com Backstories of Fetish: http://boyslash.just-in-dreams.com/jules.htmlor http://boybandfantasies.homestead.com/JulesStories.htmlor http://www.allihave.net/tangobaby44/fiction/julesseries.htm Backstories of LIL: http://boyslash.just-in-dreams.com/jules.htmlor http://boybandfantasies.homestead.com/JulesStories.html Rating: NC-17 Pairing:Letterboys (AJ/JC) Warning: Slash warning, bigroupal warning. Schmoop warning. Disclaimer: This is all fiction for entertainment purposes. I am not making assumptions on the sexuality of any of the men in this story, nor am I claiming it as fact. I made it up yo. The Cat's Out Of The Bag by Jules It was amazing how fast time seemed to fly by once they got back onto the road. They'd been touring for five months already, the CD released for six. No one had anticipated the reception that the Boys would get in releasing Live Long, Laugh Hard. Not only did they break their previous record sales, but they broke all other records as well, making it the biggest release that the world had seen in music history. Where the critics had said it had been too long, that the Boys had taken too long of a break and their market had moved on, the fans showed the exact opposite. There had been reports of girls standing in line all night to be the first to buy the CD in the morning, some stores providing bonus items for the first one hundred customers that bought the album. All in all, the CD had done better than anyone would have allowed themselves to imagine. And with a successful release, the tour dates had been confirmed only days later, tickets selling out in record time. It was official, the Boys would be doing a tour similar to that of their early days. They would be visiting as many countries as possible, doing a maximum number of dates. The tour would last at least 14 months, with a two month hiatus to be broken up into four, two week periods to allow for the boys to take time to rest. The last thing they wanted was to burn out, not if they had planned on extending the tour if needed. Once their promotional tour for the release of the CD had been announced, AJ and JC found time to sit down and really discuss what was going to happen. How they were going to deal with things ranging from visiting Lynz and that aspect of their lives, to their relationship. As much as both men were dreading this conversation, it turned out to be a lot less painful than they were anticipating. It might have had something to do with the fact that it wasn't just AJ's career that was in motion at the moment. Much to JC's surprise, his own CD had been selling exceptionally well through the web site and he'd even done a few promotional gigs to support it. But even so, JC sat down with the other guys and collectively they had decided that it was time for NSYNC as a group to once again go into the studio and start working on their next album. Although the two months before the tour had started was stressful with AJ's rehearsals and promotional duties and JC going into the studio with the guys to work on new material, the two men found whatever time was possible to spend together. It was also during that time that JC had informed his best friends that he was actively bisexual. As he'd suspected, they already had known, or at least thought they'd known about his sexuality. Although he had kept it from them for so long, they understood his right in doing so and thus accepted it. Seeing that their reaction to that news was so positive, JC then decided to take the plunge and tell them about AJ. This brought forth more surprise than anything, the other four men having absolutely no clue at all about his feelings for him. It wasn't that there was ill will between the two groups, that was mostly for show in the media, but still the news seemed to come out of nowhere for them. He explained to them why he'd kept their relationship a secret for as long as he had, but he wanted to make sure that it would last before going at least quasi public with it. It wasn't something that he wanted to make a big deal of only to have it fizzle after a short period of time. After a very long discussion, where tears were shed and friendships strengthened, JC was given their blessings for his relationship with AJ. No one said anything, but JC knew just how much of an uphill battle things were going to be for them. How secretive that they would have to be and the precautions that they were going to take. This was more serious than trying to keep a normal relationship on the down low. When he had been with Bobbee, he'd tried as hard as he could to keep that part of his life private. And knowing all the precautions

		he'd taken only to still have it leaked out, he knew with AJ it was going to be a hundred times harder. If wind got out, it wouldn't just affect himself and AJ. It wasn't two men's careers and lives on the line, but ten. And JC made sure that the guys knew he was awa re of that. "You do know Jayce... NSYNC ... yeah it's important to us. But your happiness is more important. Just remember that." Lance had said, his hand on JC's shoulder and his face serious. Justin, Chris and Joey had agreed with Lance's comment and he was to know in no uncertain terms that no matter what happened, they were behind him. That knowledge made JC feel one hundred percent better. Immediately after the meeting, he had gone over to AJ's house and relayed the evening's events to him, wanting to revel in his relief with his lover. The hardest part was over. At least that's what they had thought anyways. Everything else they would just take in stride. AJ bounced on the balls of his feet, anxious for his lover's phone call. JC was supposed to be landing at 2:30, and thus he figured that he should be out of the airport and at the hotel by hopefully 4. But no matter what, as soon as he'd cleared luggage, he promised to call and let AJ know he was on his way. It was already 3 and AJ had heard nothing. He knew that his lover was notorious for being late, but this was strange, even for him. Opening the door he peeked out the hall at the guard that was standing by the elevator. They'd taken to blocking off whole sections of the hotels they stayed in, finding that much more effective than picking different floors and having barely any security. "You hear anything yet Tiny?" When the man at the end of the hall shook his head AJ's face fell. "Sorry Bone. Nothing yet. Marcus said he'd call when JC touched down." AJ thanked him and closed his door once again. It had been over three weeks since he'd seen JC and it was driving him absolutely crazy. They had spoken every other day, either through e-mail or the telephone, but it wasn't the same as being able to curl up against his lithe body, feel the heat of their skin pressed together, just be able to relax into his touch and hold or be held all night. Sighing, AJ threw himself down on the couch and grabbed for the remote control. He flipped through the channel getting frustrated even more when nothing was keeping his interest. There was only one thing he wanted right now and that thing was MIA. Unreachable, and not for lack of his trying. JC's cell was turned off and AJ kept getting the voice mail. As he reached the pay per view channels, AJ found a variety of adult entertainment movies. Reading through the summaries, none really seemed all too appealing. Until he got to the "alternative" selection. Settling on a seemingly provocative homo-erotic movie, AJ let himsel f relax into the couch, waiting for the movie to start. Within about 15 minutes into the movie, all thoughts of his missing boyfriend had left AJ's head and his hand had crept into his jeans, idly stroking his hardening dick. Another 10 minutes found AJ with his jeans around his ankles and his hand pumping his erection with a little more speed. His free hand moved from its' position on the couch and reached between his legs, cupping his overheated and swollen balls. "Fuck yeah.. give it to him harder..." He groaned, watching the man on the screen get fucked over a photocopy machine. The one man could closely resemble JC. He was average height, very slender and had longish brown hair. The second man, was blonde and slightly beefier, reminding him somewhat of Nick. Just that image forced AJ's mind to wander to what JC had told him about his visits to Fetish and that only furthered the arousal that was coursing through his body. The blonde on the screen had pulled out of the brunette and spun him around shoving him roughly to his knees. He then proceeded to jerk of f, cumming on his face, shooting it in the direction of his mouth. AJ felt his orgasm creeping up from deep inside his stomach and braced himself. It wasn't the movie, nor was it his own hand that ultimately brought forth the earth shattering climax he experienced. But that of the mouth that engulfed his erection expertly. Shocked, AJ's eyes shot open wide and he looked down, his eyes meeting a pair of ice blue ones. His hands instantly wove in his lover's hair as his hips thrust up sharply. JC continued to milk his erection with his mouth, sucking the orgasm straight from him until he was finished, his once throbbing erection now softening quickly. "I don't call and you have to resort to gay porn?" JC said hoarsely, his breathing slightly laboured. "It's been way too long since I've seen you baby." Before AJ could respond, he reached up and covered the younger man's mouth with his own, kissing him fiercely. He felt AJ moan into the kiss and pulled away, keeping his eyes locked on AJ's beautiful face. "Holy mother fuck Josh." AJ's mind felt muddy, his brain unable to function. He fell back into the couch, his body completely lax. "What? Where?" "I wanted to surprise you. Catch you off guard.." JC giggled as his eyes flickered back to the screen where the movie was still playing. "I guess I was the one with the surprise." "How long were you standing there?" AJ asked. He kicked his jeans all the way off and pulled JC up on the couch with him so they could snuggle. Neither seemed to mind that AJ was half naked as JC pressed him tightly against the back of the couch, their bodies tangled together. "I got there about the time the CEO of the company showed up to find the VP bent over his desk getting it up

		the ass from the UPS delivery guy." "Oooh.... When he undid his pants, pulled his cock out and force fed it to him?" JC nodded and AJ grinned. "God... wasn't that the hottest fucking thing? I mean shit Josh... his cock was so big and the piercing on the end..." JC felt AJ's own cock twitch between them and saw that his attention was diverted elsewhere. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder, only to see that AJ was once again watching the movie. There were five men on the screen, all in the midst of an 'office orgy'. He couldn't help himself and groaned, feeling his own groin swell at the sight. "Flip over baby..." AJ growled, reaching in between them to stroke JC's cock. As he moved around, JC's eyes met AJ's and he silently removed his pants, giggling as AJ tugged on his shirt. "This too baby." Within seconds, they were both naked, spooning together. "Lift up a little." JC's leg lifted slightly and he shuddered as he felt AJ's cock nudge his tiny pucker. It was torture, waiting for AJ to penetrate him. He could feel the younger man's breath against his neck, his hands stroking his chest leisurely, but he made no move to actually slide his cock into JC's body. Just as JC was about to say something, to beg him to go further, he felt AJ's breathing hitch behind him. The scene on the TV was heating up with each passing minute and both men were reacting strongly to the visual. Just as one of the men on the screen slammed roughly into one of the other men, AJ's grip tightened on JC's hips and he thrust forward, pushing against the tight ring of muscle in his ass. "Yeah Alex... fuck that's good." JC growled, a white heat flowing through his body. He'd missed this feeling, being filled completely by AJ. It had been far too long and now that he was there, it was like he'd come home. "So tight Josh. You're still so fucking tight." Their bodies started to move in unison, eyes still riveted to the screen across the room. AJ's hand moved from JC's waist to his erection, taking it in hand and stroking it rapidly. Unsure if it was because they'd missed each other so much, or it was just the erotic atmosphere in the room, it took almost no time for both men to reach their pinnacle. JC came first, a low cry escaping his lips. His muscles, in turn, all contracted, closing in on AJ's cock like a vise. That exaggerated tightness as well as the way JC's body spasmed against him pulled AJ into his second orgasm in less than a half an hour, hitting him like a truck. When their bodies finally stopped twitching, and their breathing returned to normal, JC got up from the couch, pulling AJ with him. The television was turned off and JC led him towards the bathroom, starting the shower to clean them both up. Once they were under the hot spray of water, they began to talk. "Sorry I didn't call. I just thought it would be nice to surprise you." "I was just so worried that you wouldn't show up. That something happened." JC shook his head, a smile crossing his lips. He stepped in to wrap his arms around JC's lean frame. "No baby. Nothing was keeping me away from you this weekend. I couldn't go any longer without seeing you." He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on AJ's lips. "I miss you too much." "Oh baby, I miss you too." AJ cooed, darting his tongue out to lap at JC's lips. "Plus, the other guys made sure that I wouldn't have to be there this weekend. You have me until early Tuesday morning." JC giggled at the giant grin on his lover's face. He nodded his head in confirmation, knowing that AJ needed assurance. "I'm serious baby. We've got all day tomorrow, Sunday and Monday. Plus the rest of today." In a flash, AJ shut off the water and jumped out of the spacious tub, reaching for a towel. He threw one at JC, not waiting for him to get out of the tub. He gave a half assed attempt at drying off before he scurried out of the bathroom, heading immediately for the phone. "What are you doing?" JC asked, laughing as he followed his lover out of the bathroom. AJ simply shook his head, his hands trembling from excitement. He dialed four numbers and waited for someone to pick up. "Nick?" He asked once he heard a voice on the other end. "Yeah. Aje?" "It's me. Ummm, what do we have to do tonight?" AJ heard Nick chuckle and felt his stomach lurch. Judging from the way Nick's breathing appeared to be slightly laboured, he wondered what he'd just interrupted. "Are you busy?" Nick let out a giggle only furthering AJ's suspicion. "Well.... I WAS busy, but its' nothing that can't wait for a few minutes." Nick paused and AJ heard a voice in the background sounding suspiciously like Kevin moaning and whining. Nick's focus was diverted from the phone to speak to Kevin. "Kevvy, if you act like that it's only going to get worse. And then I won't fuck you. Do you want me to fuck you?" AJ heard the noise stop and he grinned, imagining the look of frustration on Kevin's face and the smirk on Nick's. "Good, then shut the fuck up so I can talk on the phone bitch." Instantly, Nick was back on the phone. "Sorry about that Aje. Kevin's being a bad little boy and seems to want to be punished."

		"Ummm okay." AJ laughed. "So what do we have to do tonight?" He'd been so excited for JC to come down that he hadn't even checked out their schedule. "Well, Kevin, Brian and I have a party that we're going to attend. Sort of a promotional thing for a radio station here." "Just you, Kev and Rok?" AJ found that weird that it was just the three of them. "Well, we knew that Josh was going to be down this weekend, and we figured that the last thing you would want was to be out entertaining when he was sitting in your hotel room alone. So Kev, Rok and I will be doing the party and you and D aren't. It would look too suspicious if it was just you skipping it, so we've told the radio station that you and D have plans tonight that couldn't be broken." AJ grinned, feeling his heart swell at Nick's information. "Really?" "Really Aje. I mean, you've been apart for weeks and I understand how important him visiting is. We all do, so we arranged things to be as easy for you two while he's down. He's here until Tuesday..." "How did you know?" AJ asked, wondering how Nick knew JC's schedule and he didn't. "I phoned him dumbass. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he's not still our friend." AJ could see Nick rolling his eyes. "And well he's down until early Tuesday morning, we leave Tuesday afternoon, so we thought we'd give you two as much time together as possible. You'll never know how long it will be again before you both can schedule a visit." "Thanks Nicky." "And Aje? We've got sound check at 3 tomorrow... you've got nothing before that. So just be there for about 2:45. We've got a meet and greet before the show and so we're just going to stay there until the performance. You've got nothing after the show and the same on Sunday...." "Thanks Nicky." AJ moved to hang up the phone, stopping when he heard Nick's voice again. "You're welcome. And remember, make the most of it. When we finally get to see Josh at some point this weekend, one or both of you better be walking funny." AJ heard Nick's cackle as he hung up the phone, laughing loudly himself. JC had since thrown on a pair of jogging pants, watching AJ as he did the same. Once they were both in comfortable clothing, they made their way to the bed and crawled on, curling up together. "What did Nick say?" "Just that he, Kev and Bri are going to be attending some radio station thing tonight. It's at a club or something. It was supposed to be all five of us, but since you're down they arranged it so that Howie and I don't have to go." "Why isn't Howie going?" "So it doesn't look weird that I'm the only one missing. So they said we both had something to do." AJ leaned in to softly kiss JC's jaw, enjoying the goose bumps that resulted. "Good stuff." "Yeah. And then tomorrow I just have to be at the stadium for quarter to three for sound check. That will be a few hours and by that point it will be time for dinner and then the meet and greet. Afterwards, I don't know what they're doing .... probably an after party or something ...but I'm going to skip out on it and come back here to be with you. Same thing on Sunday. Then Monday we have off... well I have to do an interview in the morning ...can't get out of that. But then after that interview I'm done for the day. We pack up and then leave town Tuesday afternoon heading for the next city." JC grinned, burying his face further into the younger man's neck. "Oh god Alex. Sounds great." They lay in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to break the mood of the room. "I was thinking that I might come to the show tomorrow night." JC held his breath, wondering what AJ was going to say. It was risky, but JC didn't care. He'd been up to visit a few times since the tour had started and hadn't once been able to see a show. When AJ didn't respond he felt his stomach drop. "Never mind...." "Are you sure you want to?" AJ's voice was soft and JC noticed a change in his breathing. He looked over to meet AJ's eyes, shocked at the tears in the corners. "I mean, you've never once mentioned anything about wanting to see us... to come to a show and I thought that you just didn't...." "Oh god AJ. I've been waiting for you to ask if I wanted to come. I thought that you didn't want me there so I

		never pushed." "Of course I want you there. We'll give you a special seat in the pit so that you can see the show but no one will be able to see you... unless you want to be seen..." "No. I just want to see you guys perform. I want to see what all these girls and guys are screaming for while you're up there.." Their lips met in an emotional kiss, both men holding onto the other for dear life. It was settled, JC would go to the Saturday show and if things went well, he would maybe go to the Sunday one as well. They once again relaxed in each other's arms, enjoying the moment for what it was, knowing that all too soon, it would be over and life would go on. ~~~~ Friday night passed all too quickly and the two lovers spent the night varying between catching up on each others' lives and making love. Since he didn't have to be up until 2pm at the latest, it offered them the opportunity to stay up early into the morning, neither wanting to waste precious time with sleep. Just as AJ was about to leave for the stadium, he kissed his lover good bye. "So you'll be there around 8:30 then?" JC nodded stealing a few more kisses. "Yeah. Marcus is going to come back for me and pick me up with Tiny. "Don't worry about it." "I just want to make sure my baby gets there safe and sound." AJ giggled and JC rolled his eyes. His watch said 2:20 and he knew he had to leave now if he wanted to get there on time. With one last kiss, AJ took off for the venue, more excited about that night's show than he had been for any previous. Just knowing that the older man would be there, watching him perform for him sent a rush through his body that he couldn't explain. Sound check went smoothly, everything pretty much perfect. He spent some of the time talking to Brian, finding out what had happened at the party the night before, and spent the rest of the time joking around with Nick. He was in high spirits and was amazed at how quickly the time passed by. Before he knew it they were at the meet and greet, in the midst of about 50 or so fans. AJ made sure to flirt with the fans, turning his charm on the mothers and pretty much enjoying himself all around. Even the other guys had noticed the drastic change in his demeanor. "Not that you're not usually this chipper and fun Bone.. but if you're going to be like this every time JC's down, perhaps we should put him on the tour permanently." Howie laughed, clapping his best friend on the back. They were in the 'Quiet Room" and thus knew that they were all alone. No one outside of the five of them were allowed in the room. Not even the body guards. At every venue that they visited, one room was always set aside for their private sanctuary, somewhere they knew they could go to get away from everyone and everything. AJ's eyes lit up and his smile radiated across the room. "Don't even tease me D. God, you don't know how much I would fucking love that." Nick raised his hand playfully from where he was curled up on the couch, his head resting in Kevin's lap. "I know ... I know." AJ watched as Kevin looked down to his lover's face, stroking his cheek tenderly. "I know too." A moment passed between the two men and AJ felt his heart pull. It wasn't that he resented how easy it was for the two of them, he just wished that one day it could be like that for him and Josh. When he thought about it though, AJ found that the length in between times they saw each other only made him appreciate it more. Made the memories that much more vivid, that much more satisfying. It was about 8:45, fifteen minutes before they were due out on stage when a knock came to the door. It was one knock, a pause followed by three rapid knocks in a row. AJ instantly recognized Marcus' knock and lurched for the door, throwing it open. "Marcus. What's up dude?" His eyes were hopeful, his hands trembling. His bodyguard looked over one shoulder first, followed by the other. There were people all around so he had to be cautious. "Your package was picked up and has been delivered." The two men shared a smile. "Good." "It will be waiting for you in your room when you return from the show." Marcus gave AJ a wink and a nod before walking away, going down the hall to wait for their call to come to go to the stage. AJ closed the door and let out a nervous giggle, shimmying his hips in a little dance. "My baby's at the show.... my baby's at the show." As he turned around, he found four sets of eyes watching him and blushed slightly. They all broke out into laughter and AJ sat back down on the couch, waiting for their cue to go.

		"If only the fans could see this side of you Aje. You'd be breaking more hearts than you already do buddy." Brian laughed, resetting the video game he was playing. "I mean, AJ getting all sappy and goofy because his best guy is at the show..." Brian's voice took on a slightly teasing tone and they all continued to laugh. "Fuck you Rok!" AJ gave him the finger and threw a pillow at him. Before they could further their conversation another knock came to the door and they knew that it was time to go. They were to go on at 9:15, so they had fifteen minutes to slip into their first costumes and make it to the stage. Nick and Kevin shared one last kiss before exiting the room, the five men anxious to get out on stage and perform. JC sat in the pit with his jaw hanging open and his eyes bulging. He'd never been to a Backstreet Boys concert and was blown away by everything. Their choreography, their stage presence, just the way they emanated such energy and heat to the fans. And the fans gave them just as good as they got. All in all, he found himself in a perpetual state of arousal, anxious for the show to be over so he could take his sexy, pop star boyfriend home and fuck him all night long. Every once in a while, AJ would come to the side that he was sitting at and do a few extra hip thrusts, smile knowingly or even just wink, letting him know that he was there. JC could hear the girls sitting in the section behind him screaming, thinking that AJ's attention was for them, but he knew that it was him AJ was performing for. A few times Kevin and Nick had ventured over, grabbing their crotches suggestively or shaking their asses playfully and JC had to laugh. Before he knew it, they were doing their final encore and the arena was bathed in darkness before the house lights went up, signaling the finale of the show. He was to sit in his seat for a short while and wait for Tiny to come and get him to escort him through the pit to the car that was waiting for him. He himself had performed at this venue on many occasions, so JC was familiar with the route that they'd taken to get him here as well as the one they'd take him through to get him back. He figured that AJ was taking his shower by now and doing a few interviews before he was allowed back to the hotel. "Josh? You ready bro?" A voice boomed, scaring him out of his daydream. "Hey Tiny. Yeah." "You looked a million miles away." "Just thinking..." JC blushed, not wanting to discuss what he was actually thinking about with this man he hardly knew. He knew that all the bodyguards and security were friends with the Boys, but how supportive they *really* were about their lifestyles was a question to him. Tiny must have sensed his hesitation and laughed. "Don't worry about it kid. Nothing you could say or do would shock me at this point in my life. I've seen and heard a lot more than you'd imagine." JC visibly relaxed as they walked through the empty halls towards a secret exit. "So if you were thinking about how much AJ was shaking his ass out there and what you'd like to do to it when you get back to the hotel... yeah, we all know what types of noises to expect from his room tonight." JC laughed, blushing slightly. "Thanks." "No, thank you for coming. If we had to hear about how sexually frustrated he was any longer I think we would have packed him up and shipped him home to you." They reached the car and found Marcus standing there waiting for them. JC realized that he had both Marcus and Tiny with him, leaving AJ unguarded. "Marcus?" He said, before climbing into the car. "What's up?" "If you both are here, who's on AJ?" Marcus shook his head. "No one. He said he'd be fine." JC rolled his eyes and smiled. "Figures. You know what, I'll be fine with Tiny. I mean, no one knows I'm here so no one's going to be looking for me. They know AJ's here... so why should I have two of you on me and he has no one. IF anyone needs the protection it's him." "That's what I told him too, but he said that his goods are precious and he wants them delivered safely." The three men laughed, knowing that it was definitely something AJ would say. "Tell him he's being silly. I'll be fine with Tiny. Stay here with Alex. Please." "He's gonna be pissed."

		"Tell him I don't care. We both know how dangerous it's going to be if he tries to go in there alone. The girls have been there for days and he's barely come out of the hotel. If he gives you any problems tell him that I love him and want him up there in one piece." Marcus nodded his head and turned around. JC climbed into the car, Tiny in beside him. "You know, you're probably the only person that would be able to change his mind on something." Tiny said, looking out the window. "Huh?" "Marcus and Aje fought for about a half an hour earlier about this. Marcus said that you'd be fine with just me and AJ said he didn't care. They got in a huge fight and Marcus finally gave up and said fine but if he got his ass kicked by those girls he wasn't taking AJ to the hospital." JC let out a little chuckle, visualizing that argument. Tiny continued speaking. "And he's gonna be pissed when he sees Marcus left you behind, but the second that Marc tells him that you told him to stay back, AJ will probably let it drop and not question it." JC spent the rest of the ride to the hotel thinking about that, a warmth spreading through his body. To know that AJ loved him that much and that he loved AJ equally sent his heart spiraling in his chest. They turned the corner to go down into the underground parking garage, something catching JC's eye. "Can you stop please?" He asked the driver, startling the other men in the car. "Josh?" Tiny asked, looking from the driver to JC. "I just want to grab something at that store." "Lets just go inside, we'll get you up to Bone's room and then one of us will come down to get it." Tiny tried to rationalize, not wanting to deviate from the plan. "It'll take me like five seconds. Everyone's out front and no one will see me. I'll be quick." JC was out the door in a second, rushing into the convenience store. Not ten minutes later, he was back in the car, cheeks flushed from exertion. "There, see. You barely even noticed I was gone." "Oh I noticed all right. I'm going to notice when AJ finds out and fires my ass." Tiny grumbled. JC giggled and leaned over, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "A www... he won't find out and you won't get fired. Don't worry so much." Tiny couldn't help but crack a smile and JC grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "Seriously though, thanks. I just wanted to pick up a few things." Both men looked down at the three huge bags in his hands and they started to laugh. "A few things?" "Lets go." JC said, pointing to the hotel. They were waiting forever to be granted access to the underground parking and JC was getting antsy. He wanted to get upstairs and set things up before AJ got back to the hotel. Finally, he'd had enough. "I'm going in." Tiny's eyes bugged out. "What?" "This is taking forever. I'm going to sneak in the back way. No one will even notice. We're not getting in any time soon... And he's going to be back soon." "If we're not back, he's definitely not back." "But I want to get in there first. There's some stuff I need to do." "You're not getting out of this car." The two men stared at one another, gazes locked. Finally JC shook his head. "Either you're with me or you're not, but I'm not sitting here any longer." With that, he opened the door and headed into the hotel. The street was virtually empty, as it was just a back street behind the hotel. They'd passed the front and there must have been a few hundred people waiting outside for the Boys to return. Knowing that they wouldn't be expecting anyone to slip in the back door, JC, quietly as to not bring attention to himself, headed towards the service elevator and pushed the button. Within a few seconds, the elevator opened and he stepped on. At the last minute he saw Tiny rushing to catch up and he held the door, giving the man an innocent smile. "You are going to kill me man." "You need to lighten up Tiny. No one even saw us..."

		"This time." JC hit the button for the 12th floor where they were all staying. His mind had already wandered to the scene when AJ returned from the venue. Once they'd reached the floor, he headed towards their room, telling Tiny that he'd see him later. He thanked him for the wonderful protection that he'd provided him with that night and he would assure AJ that everything went according to plan. As soon as JC got his door open, he rushed into the room to get everything ready. Room service had been in earlier and the room was spotless. He'd done a little bit of cleaning when AJ had gone and thus he wouldn't have to waste time now doing it. JC went to the ice machine to fill up the bucket, placing the bottle of wine he'd bought in it to chill. Candles were then placed all over the room and lit, filling the room with the sweet fragrance of vanilla. JC then moved to the bags and extracted the flowers he had bought. Quickly but carefully, he began tearing the roses apart, pulling the sheets down and scattering the petals all over the bed. He'd bought every single rose that the store had, despite colour or shape it was in. Once everything was ready, JC disposed of the stems and garbage in the waste bin in the bathroom and headed back into the bedroom to get himself ready. Within seconds, he'd stripped of his clothes and slipped on a pair of black silk boxer shorts. Just as he headed in to the living room to wait, he heard someone at the door and watched as the door swung open. JC held his breath as his lover rushed in. "I told Marcus to stay with you." AJ's expression was hard, his voice sharp. "And I told him to cover you. It wasn't safe for you to be alone." JC didn't back down. Not when it came to his lover's safety. AJ's expression turned soft and a smile covered his lips. "I love you so much baby." They met in the middle of the room and their mouths met in a steamy kiss. JC could smell the fresh scent of AJ's shampoo and soap on his skin and hair and ambled closer to deepen the kiss. "I was so mad when I saw Marcus come back to the dressing room." AJ started as the kiss broke. "But then he said that you told him to come back and that you love me too much to let anything happen to me and I couldn't be mad." "I love you for wanting me protected, but they don't know I'm here. Nothing's going to happen to me, and if something had have happened to you while I had both your bodyguards here... I don't know what I'd do." JC cupped AJ's face in his hands and kissed him softly. Gently, he took his lover's hand and pulled him towards the bedroom, keeping his eyes locked on the expression on AJ's face. He heard the younger man gasp and his eyes widen when they reached the bedroom, smiling at the reaction he got. "What's this?" "I just wanted to celebrate... my first Backstreet concert... us. My love for you." JC saw the look on AJ's face and knew that his lover was overwhelmed. The room was bathed in candlelight and the scent of the vanilla mixed with the roses filled their senses. JC led AJ to the bed and started to undress him, throwing his clothes in a pile a few feet away. AJ had kicked his shoes off as soon as he'd gotten into the room, so as his shirt landed in the pile JC moved to undo his jeans. AJ stepped out of them, balancing on one foot as JC worked on his socks. First left foot then right. They stood in the room, AJ completely naked, JC in his boxers. Simultaneously, they moved to embrace the other, mouths fused together, hands stroking as much skin as they could reach. With a moan, JC broke the kiss and let his eyes flutter open to stare at AJ's face. He waited until his lover opened his own eyes and smiled at him. "You were amazing out there. So beautiful." JC murmured, licking and biting at the skin on AJ's neck and shoulder. His hands moved to tweak AJ's nipples, enjoying the squeals of delight that escaped his lips. Without warning, JC dropped to his knees, paying AJ's thighs and stomach the same attention. His mouth watered at how swollen and thick AJ's cock was and suddenly needed to taste it. Letting his tongue dart out to lick it teasingly, JC felt as AJ's body trembled, his knees buckling. "Kept teasing me with this though. Thrusting it at me. Making me want to touch you..." JC's hand gripped around it, pumping it a few times. "...smell you..." He then nuzzled his face in the crease where AJ's leg met his torso, smelling AJ's arousal, feeling the coarse hair just above AJ's cock tickle his cheek. "..but most of all, taste you... god I wanted to just suck you baby .." JC held AJ's erection still as he closed his mouth around it, taking it deep into his throat. AJ's whole body was on edge, his skin tingling and mind spinning. He hadn't been able to see JC well while they were on stage, but he could feel his presence there. It was electric and all he could think about while on stage was being able to come back to the hotel and be with him. As many times as they'd made love the night before, it wasn't enough. JC was under his skin, in his blood stream and he needed more. Craved more. He had stayed back for a little while to give a few words to a few of the radio stations that had been waiting for interviews and thankfully, Kevin had stepped in to say that they had to go. AJ was in the first car out and had begged Marcus to just take him up rather than staying down to sign. With a smile, Marcus created a path from the car to the door, AJ simply smiling at the fans but not stopping for autographs or pictures. He promised that in the morning he'd be back down and see whoever was still there.

		As he thought about it, he decided that while Josh was sleeping he would go down for a bit and see them. He felt bad that they'd been down there waiting for just a glimpse of him and he'd been hiding out in his room since they'd arrived. Not that he would have changed things, he was enjoying getting to spend time with JC, but rather than be a real prick to the fans that were waiting, he'd set some time aside to do so. He felt JC swallowing around his cock and trembled. His eyes opened and he looked down, the sight of Josh on his knees, blowing him enthusiastically ingrained in his mind. "Yeah Josh... such a good cock sucker. Love your mouth.." JC pulled off and smiled up at the younger man. "Love your cock baby..." His lips were swollen and his body covered in a thin layer of sweat and AJ thought he was absolutely beautiful. Looking down at JC's groin, AJ saw a damp spot in the silk, knowing that it was probably his lover's arousal. Before JC could return to blowing him, AJ reached down and pulled him up, taking his mouth in a furious kiss. He nibbled and sucked on JC's tongue, letting his hand slide into his boxers to stroke his throbbing erection. "Lets get on the bed Josh." JC nodded and climbed onto the bed, crawling to where the wine was chilling. He poured them both a glass and waited for AJ to join him, handing him a glass when he did. After discussing the show for a few minutes and enjoying the wine, JC smiled at his lover coyly and climbed on top of him. "Now... I want to make you feel so good Alex..." AJ shivered at the promise in JC's voice, the heat in his eyes. He watched as JC stripped out of his boxers, throwing them on the floor with the other clothes. Now that they were both naked, JC settled himself down on top of his lover, sighing as their heated bodies pressed together tightly. They fell in a passionate embrace, tender kiss, both men enjoying the feel of being wrapped entirely in the arms of the person they loved. Finally, it was too much for AJ to take. "Please baby... Need you so much. Wanna feel you.." JC growled, biting AJ's ear lobe. Silently, he positioned AJ's legs over his shoulders, opening him up. Unable to help himself, JC leaned down and placed a wet, open mouthed kiss on AJ's pucker, letting his tongue dart in just slightly. He heard AJ whimper and felt hands tangle in his hair, pulling sharply. Knowing how much the younger man enjoyed it, JC spent a bit more time paying attention to his sensitive hole, stopping only when he heard incoherent mumbling. Pulling up, JC reached to the night stand beside the bed and grabbed the lube. AJ stopped him before he could grab the condom. "Just you." They exchanged heated glances and JC leaned down to kiss him passionately. "Love you baby. Love you so much." "Love you too Josh." JC then coated his erection with the lubrication and covered two fingers, sliding them deep into AJ's body. He knew it was time when he saw AJ's eyes shut tightly, his hands gripping the sheets and his body trembling. "Now?" "Please..." AJ's eyes opened and JC found himself looking into their brown depths. He could see everything he loved about his lover in those eyes and felt himself captivated by them. AJ shifting uncomfortably broke him from the daze and he placed himself at his entrance, pushing in slightly. "More.... Need more." With a grunt, JC gave him more and pushed the rest of the way in, stopping when their bodies were connected completely. He leaned up to kiss AJ, their tongues tangling and licking each other erotically. He pulled out almost entirely, leaving just the head of his cock still lodged in AJ's body only to thrust back in sharply. They worked frantically until both men were about to explode, only to have JC slow down and stop, frustrating AJ. When they were both at a safe level of sensitivity again, JC resumed his love making, bringing them both back up to that point again only to stop. "What....?" AJ whined, his cock now throbbing between them, his body drenched in sweat. "Making us wait for it baby. The longer we put it off, the better it's going to be." "But I wanna cum..." AJ pouted, sticking his lower lip out. JC giggled and leaned down, taking the lip between his teeth. "And you will ...just not yet." They continued this on for almost an hour until AJ was practically crying and JC was finding it harder and harder to hold on. They were having to stop nearly every 30 seconds at this point and he knew that it was time. Starting again, he began to thrust in and out of AJ sharply, angling his hips for maximum penetration. "Gonna cum..." AJ warned, their eyes locked. JC leaned down to whisper in his ear.

		"Do it. Cum ..." AJ's eyes widened and his mouth opened, no sound coming out. JC knew he wasn't sure if he'd really heard him so he said it again, louder. "CUM. NOW." AJ screamed loudly, his whole body convulsing violently. JC continued to move inside of him, feeling his whole body trembling and AJ's body jerking underneath him. AJ's random words and cries were quickly doing him in and finally JC allowed for his own release to wash over him and he came hard. He jerked so sharply that he pulled out of his lover entirely, cumming on the sheets beneath him. AJ noticed his lover still coming so with a tired arm, he reached down between them and started to pump JC's cock, milking him further. He knew how sensitive JC could be during an orgasm as well as after, so he put gentle pressure on his cock, extending the orgasm for as long as he could. Finally, they both collapsed on the bed in a pile of liquid bones. In a move that was second nature to them now, both men shifted into a tight embrace, working to regulate their breathing. AJ wanted to speak, to say something but he couldn't. There was nothing that could accurately express the multitude of emotions he was feeling at that particular moment. His breathing hitched and he felt JC's arms tighten around him. "I know baby.." Was all his lover said, letting him know that he wasn't the only one who was a little overwhelmed at that moment. That was the last thing he heard before drifting into a blissful sleep. It was quite possibly the first time in months that AJ had slept the entire night without waking up once. Opening one eye, he looked at the clock beside the bed and saw that it was after 11am. He felt JC curled up against his side and realized that they hadn't moved from the positions that they'd fallen asleep in. He stretched gently, not wanting to wake JC. Just as his eyes fluttered closed again he felt his lover shift beside him "Good morning beautiful." JC said, his voice thick with sleep. "Morning baby. Did I wake you?" JC shook his head as he sat up. "Nah, I've been drifting in and out of sleep for about an hour now." Looking down, the remnants of their love making the night before. "Why was it again that we didn't shower last night?" AJ giggled at the look of disgust on JC's face. "Because you fucked me so good I couldn't move and didn't care." JC seemed to think this over and nodded, giggling softly. "Yeah... isn't that the truth." They climbed out of the bed and headed towards the shower, wanting to clean themselves of the mess all over their skin. They took their time under the hot spray of the water, not minding the time as AJ knew he still had a lot of time before he had to be downstairs to go to the venue. When they finally emerged from the shower and dried off, they grabbed the robes hanging from the back of the door and headed into the living room to order room service and maybe watch some TV. What they weren't expecting was four visitors, looking seriously grim. "What the fuck?" AJ jumped, holding his hand to his chest. He looked over at JC who was just as surprised. "Your phone is on do not disturb." Kevin stated. He didn't look angry, but didn't look happy either. Just ....concerned. "We've been busy. Didn't want interruptions." AJ moved to the couch and sat down on an empty seat, making room for JC to sit on the floor in between his legs. "We've been trying to get a hold of you all morning." Nick added, his eyes darting nervously between AJ and JC. Neither man liked the looks of things. Something was definitely up and they had a feeling that it wasn't going to be good news. "We had to convince them that there was an emergency to get another key to your room." "Again. Busy." "Have either of you seen the paper?" Howie asked curiously. Judging from how relaxed both men were, they assumed that they hadn't, but he just wanted to make sure. When both AJ and JC shook their head he continued. "The news? The TV?" Again, they shook their heads, exchanging confused looks. "What's going on? Clearly something big if you're all here with those looks on your faces. You look like something catastrophic has happened." JC said, his voice trembling. He felt his stomach churn a few times. Brian, Howie, Nick and Kevin all exchanged looks and finally shrugged. "There's no easy way to tell you, to prepare you for it." Kevin started. AJ noticed his hands trembling and suddenly felt sick. It took a lot to ruffle Kevin and he looked freaked out beyond belief. This must be really bad. "Give it to us Kevin..." JC said, holding his breath. They watched Nick stand and walk across the room, handing them a few news papers. Well, just the entertainment sections. They were from the papers of the

		city that they were in and most likely had made the rounds on live wire by that time. Both AJ and JC gasped as they saw their pictures in the papers. Both taken last night. They stared at each other before looking up at the other's stunned. "What..." "They know. Or they think they know." Brian supplied, his voice soft and full of regret. "They... know ....what?" AJ asked slowly, feeling his pulse racing and his breath short. "About the two of you. It says how you've barely been seen and haven't been doing any interviews. You've been holed up in the hotel the whole time and JC has been spotted entering the hotel through the back entrance with flowers and groceries." AJ shook his head, as if trying to argue. If he denied that it was true, then it couldn't be. "It's true Aje. They saw him trying to sneak in with Tiny. They know the bodyguards and put two and two together." It didn't make sense to him. They'd been so careful. JC only coming and going from the hotel late at night or early morning, and when he did have to go at other times, he'd go through the underground parking at the loading dock. "That's insane. I mean.. how could they have seen him. They're just speculating." This time it was Kevin shaking his head. They've got footage. It's clear that it's JC and he's with Tiny. Coming in the back doors of the hotel. Plus..." Kevin looked at Nick for a few seconds, his face pained. "Plus what Kev?" JC asked, his voice soft. He had an idea of what Kevin was about to say and instantly closed his eyes. It was too much for him to take. AJ seemed to be reacting badly to his indiscretions and this would probably only make it worse. Kevin sighed and JC knew he was right. "They saw you at the concert last night. It was on the radio this morning. The DJ was discussing the news this morning from the paper and people were calling in. A girl who was front row had phoned in to say that she thought she'd seen you last night but figured that it was just someone who looked like you. But now that she knew you were in town, she realized that you weren't just a look alike. After that.. a few more people called in to say that they'd seen you too. They were apparently calling your name but you were watching the stage too closely to hear them." AJ gasped, not believing what he was hearing. "Excuse me? First they saw him last night with Tiny coming in the back doors and now they're saying that they saw him at the concert?" All four men nodded solemnly, JC remained stiff as a board. He looked down at his lover to see how pale his skin was, how upset he was. "What the fuck are they talking about?" The room was eerily silent, no one daring to make a noise, move a muscle. "Maybe we should go..." Howie suggested, moving to stand up. "No. Sit down D." AJ demanded, not taking his eyes off of his lover. "I want to hear what happened." "Okay, at the show last night. I was watching and you'd come over to my side singing No One Else Comes Close and I couldn't help it. I stood up and started walking towards the stage. I had to get closer to you and .. I guess I'd walked a little too far where people could see me. But I didn't even really think about it.. all I could think about was you and how beautiful you are." JC sniffled, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. AJ's eyes were still hard and cold, his lips set in a thin line. When he noticed that AJ wasn't going to comment, he continued. "And last night... I sort of..." "You sort of what?" AJ interrupted. "I told Tiny to take you in to the underground parking. We knew that there were people out there and anyone could have seen you. What were you thinking?" JC felt as though AJ had slapped him across the face and knocked the wind out of him. "I was thinking that I couldn't wait to get back and be here with you. That I wanted to make things perfect and I wanted to buy you flowers and wine and candles.. make everything romantic for us. I was thinking that I could be quick and no one would see me and then we tried to get underground but there was an accident or something and we couldn't get into the garage and I wanted to get the room set up before you came home. But if we waited I wouldn't have been able to get up here in time and everything wouldn't have been perfect. It only took me a few seconds to get inside." "A few seconds too many it appears." AJ said, shaking the picture of JC in the air. "Fuck... Why the fuck couldn't Tiny just do his job and get you here without any problems" "It wasn't his fault. In fact he forbade me to get out of the car, but before he could do anything I got out and ran across the street. He was pretty pissed...."

		"He should have been pissed. He wasn't supposed to let you ..." "Let me what? Do something for myself? I'm not a child Alex. I'm old enough to fucking be able to go to the store on my own. So don't you even think about getting him in trouble. It's my fault, not his. He warned me but I didn't listen... I should have listened..." "Jesus fucking Christ Josh.... Yes you should have fucking well listened..." AJ didn't know why he was so angry. He thought that maybe it was because he was scared. Scared that people knew, or suspected anyways because there was no real proof, just speculation. But now that people knew JC might leave him and he'd be alone again. And that fear just seized his heart and he couldn't think of anything except for the fact that JC was going to leave and never come back. He could barely even see the hurt in his lover's eyes, the way his body trembled violently, hands shaking and tears coursing silently down his cheeks. He couldn't see any of that. He stood up and made his way towards the bathroom, stepping in before slamming it shut. The sound of the lock clicking on the bathroom door rang through the whole room and JC couldn't hold on any longer. Forgetting that there were four other men in the room, JC covered his face with his hands and broke down, sobbing loudly. He pulled his robe tighter around his body, trying to fight off the chill that was threatening. He couldn't believe how angry AJ had gotten. Or actually, he could. He understood how important keeping things a secret was for him and knew that he had to be careful. He'd fucked up, pure and simple and now AJ was going to leave him. Raising his head, he looked at the door which his lover had just gone through, wishing that he could go back and erase the past 24 hours. Or would he? The thing that scared JC the most was that he wasn't so sure that he would. He had gotten so much pleasure from the concert the night before. Standing there in the open, thousands of fans surrounding him watching the man he loved more than life itself perform. For him. It was a rush that he wouldn't have taken back for the world. And then enjoying the pure simplicity of going into a store and buying something himself. Knowing exactly what he wanted and not having to rely on someone else to do it for him. He had wanted to pick out the roses, get the candles, pick the wine they would drink. And he had enjoyed the slow, tender love making with AJ completely, showing the younger man just how much he meant to him. What was so wrong with that? With their relationship? He just didn't know. JC was startled out of his reverie when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Someone was kneeling beside him. "Josh?" Lifting his head from where it was resting on his arm, JC's eyes met two concerned blue ones. Nick's face was dangerously close to his own and JC gasped. He'd just broken down with them still in the room and was feeling slightly embarrassed. Looking into Nick's eyes, he saw nothing but compassion and regret. "I'm sorry... But we thought you should know." JC shook his head. It wasn't their fault and he didn't blame them at all. It was his own fault and nothing could change that. Looking from one face to the other he suddenly thought of his own band mates. Panic filled his eyes and he scrambled up to his feet. "Oh fuck... the guys... need to warn them... gonna freak..." Kevin was at his side in an instant, taking him in a tight embrace. "Shhhh. They already know. We got wind early this morning from a friend on the inside. We've been trying to get a hold of you guys for a while now... I phoned Lance first thing. They're doing damage control on their end." JC sagged against Kevin's broad chest. His whole world was crumbling around him. "They must hate me." Nick smiled and shook his head. As he reached out to cup JC's face in his hand the older man flinched and tried to pull away. "What's so fucking funny?" The smile dropped instantly and Nick withdrew his arm as if being burnt. "Nothing's funny Josh. It's just that ....they don't hate you. I don't think anyone could ever hate you." Blue eyes met blue and JC relaxed somewhat. Nick stepped in closer, his gaze not leaving JC's. "They were impressed that it took the media this long to get wind of it. You two aren't exactly the best at hiding your emotions for each other. Anyone even paying half attention to either of you would be able to see how much in love you are." "They said to make you understand that it was okay and not to worry. I think they knew that things would be rougher between the two of you than anything else so just to know that they love you." Kevin added. JC looked over at Brian and Howie who were watching in surprise. He figured that they weren't exactly aware of how deep JC's friendship ran with Nick and Kevin but he was too emotionally drained to think hard about it. "I'm going home," he sighed, shoulders sagging. When he looked up at Kevin's expression he saw the older man shaking his head. "That's the last thing you're going to do." "It's over. You saw ..."

		"I don't care what we saw. I don't even care what we read. This isn't finished and you are definitely not going home." Nick argued. "Now. Get some clothes." When JC didn't move Nick repeated himself louder. "I told you to get some clothes!" JC cocked his head to the side, weighing out Nick's demand. It wasn't a controlling order and JC knew that he didn't *really* have to listen to him but he figured that doing anything too irrational while in his state of mind wasn't exactly smart. Within minutes he'd gathered a few things, holding them numbly in his hands. Nick smiled warmly at him and led him to the door. "Where are we going?" "My room. All my stuff's in Kevin's practically anyways. But we're going to get you out of here and let you both unwind a bit." Nick checked his watch and saw that it was after noon. "The show?" "Oh we're still going on. Everything's going on as per usual. We're going to deal with things as they come." Brian assured him, approaching him slowly. When JC's eyes met his, Brian leaned in to give him a hug. "Jayce? You're part of the family. We love you, don't forget that. AJ's just a little scared at the moment so don't take anything he's said or done to heart." Hearing that brought tears to JC's eyes and his eyes flickered back to the bathroom door. He wondered what AJ was doing in there, how he was feeling and couldn't help but start to cry again. He vaguely heard Nick say something to Brian and Brian apologize but nothing was getting through. His whole body seemed to shut down and nothing mattered. "I'm taking him to my room." Nick informed the others, not leaving room for argument. Once he brought JC to his room he led him to the bed, forcing him to lay down. "I'm not tired." "I don't care. I didn't say you had to sleep." "I just want to be left alone." JC pleaded, wanting the blonde to just go. Much to his dismay, Nick shook his head and brought the chair closer to the bed, sitting down comfortably on it with his legs propped up on the edge of the bed. "I'm not leaving so just lay the fuck down and relax." They were silent for a few minutes, JC obeying Nick's request and curling up in the centre of the perfectly made bed. His breathing evened out and Nick wondered if he'd fallen asleep. It was clear that he hadn't when Nick could make out the sound of soft sniffles and an occasional sob. Nick knew that he would talk when he was ready, and he would wait until that was. Finally, JC spoke. "I can't believe I was so stupid. What WAS I thinking?" JC asked AJ's question from earlier. "I mean..." "You couldn't have known Josh. I mean... it wasn't like you did it on purpose. And it's so hard to be on 100 percent of the time. You're only human.." "But you and Kevin have done it for so long... I mean, you two never fucked up this big.. no one knows about the two of you." Nick shook his head. "That's entirely different Jayce. I mean fuck, we're together 24/7 so of course no one is going to suspect. We're expected to be together all the time. If we're on break and Nick and I are spotted out somewhere, no one even takes a second look because we're band mates, best friends. Hell... it's the same with you and your guys. If you were with ..say Joey or Lance or something, you wouldn't have to hide things as much. Am I right?" JC nodded, understanding Nick's logic. He couldn't argue with that. "I think that for being together as long as you have, you've both done an amazing job at keeping it together like you have." "Well.." JC sighed, covering his face with his arm. "That's over now. He hates me so I guess I'll be packing up after tonight's show and on my way home." He heard Nick move to say something but stop. "What?" "Are you afraid for this to go public?" "It already has." "But ... were you afraid? Like, if this had been AJ who'd been the one to 'slip up', would you end the

		relationship for it? Did you ever want to come out to the fans? To the press?" It was a question that Nick had wanted to ask him for quite a while now, but just never had the opportunity. Not that he was ready to do that, he wasn't and he knew that Kevin wasn't, but he got these vibes from JC since the beginning and was curious. He watched as JC lifted his arm from his face and their eyes met. "I would do anything for him Nick. If one day he had have said, "let's go on ET and tell the world", I would have been phoning Mary Hart instantly. He's wanted it on the down low from the beginning so we've been quiet. It's not something I'd wanted to get out, especially like this, but ...it's too late for that now. The guys have been great though. They've always said that if it got out and everyone knew, they wouldn't care. Even if it ended NSYNC, as long as I was happy that's all they care about." Nick nodded, a smile creeping up on his face. "We feel the same way. With any of our 'secrets' really. First and foremost it's the five of us and our happiness. Everyone else can fuck themselves." He watched as the first smile since this ordeal started crept up on JC's face. ~~~~~~~~ Kevin waited for Nick and JC to leave the room before turning to Howie and Brian. "I think that I'm going to have a talk with AJ. Find out where his head is and if he's okay." He hoped the other two understood he meant alone. Thankfully, they did. "Got it. Call us if you need us." Brian said, patting his cousin on the shoulder. Howie also stood and smiled. "Sound check at 4 today. Don't forget." Once they were gone Kevin took a deep breath and headed towards the bathroom door. "Aje?" He softly knocked, hoping that he hadn't done anything drastic. There had been no sound coming from the bathroom since he'd entered and Kevin wasn't sure if it was a good sign or a bad one. "It's unlocked." Kevin pushed in, surprised to see AJ curled up in the tub, his arms around his legs protectively. His eyes were red and puffy, tear stains streaked down his cheeks. Kevin pushed the toilet seat down and had a seat, not saying anything. He wasn't sure how he was going to approach this but knew he had to be careful. "Wanna tell me what's going through your mind?" A direct answer was the last thing he was expecting from AJ. Needless to say he was shocked when he got his answer. "He's going to leave me." AJ had never looked so despondent in the whole time Kevin had known him. His heart broke just a little more at the sight of his best friend in so much pain. "What are you talking about?" "He's going to leave me. He's so secretive and private about his life and now that people know about him ...about us he's going to leave me. I've been so scared that something's going to happen and he's going to go ...and now ...." Tears began to fall quickly down AJ's cheek, sobs wracking his body. Kevin had no idea what to do or how to assure AJ that JC wasn't going anywhere. Not unless AJ told him to go anyways. "He's ....more worried about how people ...will look at him ...or what they'll think of him..." A sob would escape every few seconds, making it difficult for AJ to talk. "...that they'll respect him less if they think he's bi.." "Alex, listen to me." Kevin waited until he knew he had AJ's attention. "It's not like that. You don't know how devastated he was out there, thinking that you hated him. He's not going to leave you unless you tell him to go." "Why would I want him to go. God Kevin, I love him more than anything or anyone. I'd do anything for him. But ...god Kevin.... I know he's going to leave me. What am I going to do?" "Didn't he come out to his guys for you? I mean shit AJ, he didn't tell them for over 10 years that he was bisexual, but as soon as the two of you were serious, he went straight to them and told them. No one else ever meant that much to him to do that." "That was different..." "How?" AJ wasn't sure, but he knew it was. He couldn't let himself think that there was a chance in hell that JC was going to stay with him now that the world knew about their relationship. "You need to talk to him." AJ nodded his head at Kevin's suggestion knowing that they did need to talk but afraid to have the conversation all the same. "After the show, you'll come straight back here..."

		"Kev? How are we going to deal with everything until Josh and I figure things out?" Kevin grinned. "Well, 'no comment' has always seemed to do us well in the past. Keep em wondering Aje. Make them work for the story." Nick checked his watch, knowing that he'd have to go soon. JC had drifted to sleep and he hadn't wanted to leave the older man until he had to. Standing up, Nick grabbed a few things that were laying around the room. "Gotta go?" JC asked, startling him. "Yeah. Sound check." Nick looked regretful that he had to leave. "You need to talk to him." JC nodded, he knew. It wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to though. "After the show." "What are you going to do while we're gone?" JC could tell Nick was worried about him and he smiled. "Don't worry Nick. I'm not going to take off. I think I'm going to call Lynz and talk to her. I know you guys already have, but I just need to talk to her about this. And then I'm going to call the others... and my mom." Nick took a sweep of the room, making sure that he had everything that he needed, but that JC would have whatever he needed as well. "Well regardless, we're going to have Tiny stay back tonight." His blue eyes twinkled at the pout on the older man's face. "I'm not a baby." Nick was beside him in an instant, running his fingers through JC's hair. "Believe me Josh, I know you're not a baby." Something passed between them and both men felt a blush rise to their cheeks. "But I'm still worried about you." "Thanks." A knock at the door startled them both and Nick moved for the door. Checking through the peep hole first he smiled as he saw his lover on the other side of the door. "Kev!" Kevin pushed his way into the room, waiting until the door was closed before softly kissing his lover deeply. Nick understood the stress that Kevin was feeling as he was feeling it too. This didn't just affect AJ and JC, but them all. They were affected for the sole reason that they loved their friends so much that seeing them in pain, caused them pain as well. When the kiss broke he continued on in the room to check up on JC, frowning when he saw him curled up on the bed in a ball. "You okay?" Kevin sat down, occupying the position Nick had just risen from. When JC nodded and gave a feeble attempt at a smile, Kevin relaxed slightly. "We'll be back right after the show. You and Aje have to talk." "I know." "Until then, any questions will be met with 'no comment'." JC nodded. With a shaky voice he spoke again. "Is he okay?" Kevin's expression softened and he stroked JC's face gently. When they had originally planned on setting these two men up, he never would have expected it to have go this far, run this deep. "About the same as you it seems. But do me a favour, don't jump to conclusions. Don't think about it until we get back and you can talk to him." JC let out a loud laugh, startling both Nick and Kevin. "Don't think about it? Don't fucking think about it? How can I NOT think about it? He hates me, our relationship is probably over and my life has been ruined.." "Your life has been ruined? Because people know?" Maybe AJ had been right, but Kevin was certain that he was overreacting. JC sat up on the bed, his eyes blazing and face set in anger. "My life has been ruined because the person I love most in the world hates me. My life has been ruined because my relationship is over. I don't give a fuck that people know, as long as I'm with him. And I don't even have that any more." Kevin felt a sigh of relief but didn't dare let JC see it. After talking for a few more minutes, Kevin and Nick bid him a good bye and told him that they'd be back after the show. Once he was alone, JC got out of Nick's bed and headed towards the bathroom, needing to relieve himself. On his way back to the bed, a soft knocking at the door caught his attention and he stiffened, unsure of what to do. Quietly, he crept to the door and peeked through gasping at the person that stood on the other side. Slowly, he opened the door a crack, peeking one eye through. He met the troubled eyes of his lover and stepped away from the door to allow him to enter.

		"Josh..." "Alex." "I'm ...going to the venue now." "I know. Kev and Nick just left." JC fiddled with the hem of his tee shirt, more nervous than he'd ever been in his life. He noticed that AJ refused to meet his eye and felt his heart breaking just a little more. "Ummm, I was thinking that maybe we should talk about .... well everything when I get back... unless you were still thinking of coming to the show." AJ darted his eyes up quickly, caught when he found himself looking directly into JC's, which were trained on his face. Neither man said a word, caught in the moment. As much as JC had wanted to see the second show, he knew it was best that he didn't. And he knew furthermore, that AJ knew it too. So instead, he shook his head. "I don't think that's wise." AJ's stomach churned. He figured that JC wouldn't go, but still held onto the hope that they'd make it through this. "Of course." AJ brought his hand up to his mouth and started to chew on his thumb nail, a sure sign of how nervous he was. That movement calmed JC just a little, knowing that AJ was just as affected by it all as he was. Unconsciously, he reached out to grab a hold of AJ's hand, pulling it away from his mouth. "You're going to chew it down to the skin and it'll crack." JC's voice was soft and full of emotion. It was something he was always warning his lover about and the simple act brought tears to both of their eyes. "I can't help it.." AJ's voice was just as soft. JC moved before he could think too hard about it and held AJ's face in his hand. His other hand moved to the back of the younger man's face and pulled them together, kissing him tenderly. At the faintest touch of their lips on one another, both men sighed and fell into the embrace. After a few minutes, AJ pulled away, knowing that he had to leave now if he wanted to make it to the venue without suspicion. "I have to go." "I know." Although neither said it, both wanted to confess their love for the other. Reassure the other that no matter what happened, they would make it through. But something held them back and they simply shared weak smiles and tear filled glances as AJ turned around and left the room, JC frozen in his spot. AJ was thankful that management had refused entrance to any type of press or media back stage. It wasn't all that odd as it wasn't usual that they had such allowances back stage, but it was great that they'd taken into consideration AJ's mental health at the moment. He spent the entire time before the show in the Quiet Room, sitting in the corner of the room thinking. His mind wandered to everything and anything, not able to focus on anything in particular for an extended period of time. He knew that the others wanted to say something to him, try and take his mind off of things, but this was what he needed. What he wanted. Just time to think about things and decide where his head was. A half hour before the show, he asked Nick to borrow his disc man since his was back at the hotel and he put on music that would get him in the frame of mind he needed to be in for the show. Usually it wasn't any problem getting pumped up for a performance, but usually he wasn't dealing with what he was dealing with at that mo ment. If anyone noticed how spacey he was, the others would have been surprised. With all things considering, AJ had put on a hell of a show, not missing a single note, beat or joke. It was just like every other show they'd done on the tour so far, except when they were back stage between songs, they would see the light disappear from his eyes and the smile fade from his lips. Once the show was finished, he quickly made his way to the showers to clean up. His stomach was queasy and his hands were trembling visibly. "Guys... I'm outta here." He called, seeing that the others were just finishing getting dressed. "Marcus and I are gonna head back..." He received nods in response, Kevin approaching him. "Nicky and I are going to stay in tonight, so if you need us just call." "You don't have to do that for us Kev. If you two want to go out, go right ahead." "Umm well actually..." Nick started, stepping in behind Kevin. "We've got ...plans tonight... so we're staying in." The twinkle in his eyes told AJ everything he needed to know. Despite his gloomy mood, AJ managed a chuckle. "Well then, we definitely WON'T be calling you." He stepped in to give both of his friends a hug. "Thanks for everything guys."

		"No problem Aje. Anytime." With that, AJ headed out the door, bag over his shoulder. Now it was time to deal with the fate of his relationship. ~~~~~~ When AJ walked out the door, JC stumbled across the room and curled up on the couch, grabbing for the remote control. He needed something to take his mind off of the blinding pain in his chest, the hole in his heart. The feel of AJ's lips on his was still present, the taste of him still in his mouth. JC hoped that wouldn't be the last time he'd get to feel him, taste him. Once he had regained enough composure to talk, he reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number. It rang and when the person on the other end answered, he held his breath. "Hi. Mom?" An hour and a half later, more tears were shed and JC was starting to feel a bit better. As much as he thought that his parents would hate him, probably disown him if they knew about his sexuality, they were supportive and told him that nothing changed the fact that he was their son and they loved him. It was something he definitely needed to hear at that moment. Although, his mother had scolded him for letting her find out that way rather than him telling her himself, she said that he was a big boy now and that she trusted his reasons for keeping that part of him from her. Next he phoned the guys, each one by one and talked to them, recounting the story four times followed by a call to Lynz. Between phone calls to Lance and Chris, JC had stumbled to the door, telling Tiny to get his ass in his room. Together, they had ordered room service and sat silently watching TV and eating dinner. Tiny was the first to talk. "Thank you for sticking up for me." JC knew exactly what he was talking about and blushed. "I should have listened to you." His eyes drifted to his hands which were folded in his lap. "It shouldn't have to be this way. This hard." The emotion in Tiny's voice forced JC to look up. Their eyes met and JC blinked back tears. "I don't know why people don't understand that... I mean, sure you guys are famous and people love you, but this isn't love. Breaking up something that is perfect isn't what I call love." Tiny shook his head as he stood up. "But Josh, let me tell you. I've never seen him like this before. He loves you and no matter what happens with the papers or the TV, nothing's going to change that." That had been hours ago and JC rubbed his eyes tiredly, shifting to check his watch. It was after 11. AJ should be back soon. He wasn't sure if he should go back to their room or stay in Nick's. He figured that it was best if he stayed where he was. AJ knew that he was in Nick's room and when he got in he'd come to get him. A soft knocking at the door broke him from the light sleep he'd fallen into and JC sprang up. His watch read 11:40 and his stomach started to flutter. He made sure to check the peep hole first and saw his lover biting his thumbnail nervously. When he opened it they both stared at one another, JC in the room and AJ in the hall. "I'm back." "Good." They remained in their positions, neither moving. "How was the show?" "I have no idea." JC nodded. The air between them was awkward and he hated it. Never in the time they'd been together had things been this strained. He watched as AJ ran a shaky hand through his hair, his eyes sad. "I thought that you might have gone back to our room..." JC's heart jumped and he let out a deep breath. AJ had said 'our room'. That had to be a good sign. He blushed and rested his head against the door. "To be honest with you, it didn't occur to me to go back until about half an hour ago. I was laying on Nick's couch and wondered what I was still doing there..." Both men let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, I get like that sometimes." AJ looked down the hall and then back at JC. "Please... come back with me." JC nodded and stepped out into the hall, letting the door close behind him. He didn't care that he had clothes still in there, or that the TV was still on. AJ had asked him to go back to his room with him and that was what mattered at that moment. Naturally, both men's hands fell to their side, blindly seeking out the other's. They headed down the hall to their room, sharing one last look before crossing the threshold. Silently, AJ grabbed the comforter off of their bed and spread it out on the floor, pulling the pillows down as well. He beckoned JC over and sat down, motioning for his lover to do the same. They sat in the middle of the floor cross legged, watching the other. Finally JC broke the silence. "I'm so sorry Alex. You have to know how

		much I love you and how sorry I am. I know you hate me and I understand that... But you can't leave me without knowing that I never meant for it to be like this." AJ was shocked at JC's outburst, the older man's tears taking him off guard. I wanted to leave earlier so you wouldn't have to throw me out but Kevin wouldn't let me..." AJ's arms instantly went around JC's lean frame which was now trembling violently, sobs escaping every once in a while. JC thought that he couldn't cry any more, but he'd been wrong because wave after wave of fresh tears were falling. AJ's gentle touch was the last thing he had expected, as were the soothing words of comfort that were being whispered in his ear. "Shhhhh baby. Shhhh." AJ was stroking his hair, kissing away his tears. "Stop crying Josh... Please stop crying. I hate to see you so upset." AJ felt tears of his own fall from his eyes and moved so that the older man could crawl up into his lap. When JC had calmed down slightly, enough that AJ knew he could hear him. "I don't hate you baby. God.. I don't hate you and I don't want you to leave." JC pulled back, the tears stopping. "But I ... I was so careless. They saw me and they know... they know all about us. I watched the shows Alex.. Entertainment Tonight. Access Hollywood.... All of them. They all know and ...." "Shhhhh." AJ covered JC's mouth with his finger and waited for him to calm down again. "I don't hate you Josh. You have to understand that I could never hate you. I mean, yeah, I hate that they found out like this but it was bound to happen sooner or later. I would have rather it be us that broke the news, but this could be workable." AJ had been doing a lot of thinking that night and he really stopped to put everything into prospective. As much as he'd thought that he didn't want anyone to know about their relationship, he was glad that it had happened anyways. Now that he had to deal with it, he realized that keeping it a secret all this time was killing him. Not that he wanted to be all proactive and shit, but he hated the fact that he had to live his life by their rules. If he wanted to be with another man, then he was going to be with another man. IF he wanted to take JC out and kiss him in public, he didn't want to have to worry about what people said. When he really thought about it, he realized that he really didn't care what they said. The only people that mattered were him and Josh... and their friends and family. Everyone else could go and fuck themselves. Now he had to find out how JC felt about it. "Are ....are you sure?" JC asked, eyes wide and lower lip quivering. AJ couldn't help himself and had to lean in to take JC's lip between his teeth. They shared a tender kiss, their eyes open and locked the entire time. When they pulled away, AJ had to ask him the question that was first and foremost on his mind. "Josh?" "Umm hmm." "Are ... I was just wondering.. Are you ashamed of us?" AJ watched as JC's mouth opened in a giant O and his eyes bugged out. "God... Alex no. Why would you think I was ashamed?" AJ blushed and tightened his grip around his lover's waist. "I don't know. I just thought you've always been so hell bent on us keeping this a secret because you were ashamed of me. Of us. And that was why you were so upset today. That people know about us now." AJ's skin was soft under JC's hand and he stroked his cheek lovingly. "Oh Alex. I was upset because I thought you hated me for being so careless. That I'd fucked it up because YOU wanted to keep us a secret. I was telling Nick earlier that I would do anything for you. If you had have said that you wanted us to come out, I would have done that for you. I love you so much baby." Their lips met in a gentle kiss, tongues darting out to lick and tease the other playfully. It was more of a affirmation of their love than anything else, the two men wrapped up entirely in the feelings between them. "When you started crying ...when you stormed into the bathroom I thought it was over. That you hated me and were going to leave me. I was so scared Alex... so fucking scared." "I was scared too Josh. Scared that now that everyone knows about us that you were going to leave ME. I couldn't even think straight.." AJ was cut off by JC's mouth on his. They continued to kiss and softly whisper to one another, moving only to curl up together on the blanket, wrapping it around them like a cocoon. "I'm never going to go anywhere baby." JC promised, making sure that AJ could see the honesty in his eyes. "Not unless you tell me that you want me to leave." "Never going to happen. Noth