< Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Exams were killer. At least they had been for Nick, who hadn’t been looking forward to writing five of them. Even Justin had to admit that his three were tougher than he had anticipated them to be, and midway through he was counting the hours until he was free for two whole months.

A few times during exams, study breaks were organized to give everyone a much needed breather before writing again. Chris continually told Nick and Justin that they were worrying too much and that grade nine exams were nothing in comparison to what they were going to have to write in their junior and senior years. It didn’t ease their consciences as much as it was meant to.

The date for the anti-prom was set for the same night as Lincoln High’s real prom. Christina had gone over to Nick’s house one night after dinner and they had gone over all of the details, not wanting to leave anything out. With Jane’s help, they came up with a theme, an idea for invitations and everything they would need to make the night special. The guest list included, but was not limited to Nick, Justin, Lance, AJ, Josh, Christina, Britney, Billy, Kyle and Emily. Others could be invited and as a last minute decision, Christina invited the other girls in grade nine that she was still friends with. The next day, Christina and Nick went to the school and slipped invitations in lockers, making sure that Britney got the ones for Kyle, Billy and Emily.

It was the last day of exams and it seemed as though all of the freshmen were at school for their World Studies exam. They were writing it at two o’clock, to be finished at four. The mood in the halls was that of relief, as they only had this one more to go and after that, they were free.

"I’ve given up studying for this," Justin groaned. "I can’t take any more information in my head."

Nick nodded. "I know." He was cleaning out the last of the papers in his locker, all that was left was his backpack and his World Studies binder, which would be taken home and stashed with the rest of his books from that year. "So, what’s going on tonight?"

"No idea, anyone want to do anything?" Lance suggested. AJ had finished exams a few days earlier, and Lance had forbidden him to call to gloat about it until he was done his exam. They’d arranged for AJ to pick him up after four that day to go and celebrate.

"Oh," Justin smacked his forehead and pulled a piece of paper out of his back pocket. "Brian’s having an end of year bash. We’re all invited."

The gang all looked from one to the other, questioning whether they would be attending. Justin grinned.

"His parents aren’t going to be there, and since it’s nice, he’s got the pool open."

That had been the deal cincher.

"I’m so in," Nick said. He exchanged a high five with Justin who was nodding. "How about you guys?"

"Pool party at the Littrell’s?" Christina grinned, "bring it on."

"Parent less pool party at the Littrell’s," Britney corrected. "I’ve got to call Billy and tell him that our plans have changed. We were gonna go to a movie and dinner or something, but this is much more fun."

"Totally more fun," Christina agreed. She looked at her watch to see that it was nearly a quarter to two. "Time to get moving, they should be letting us into the gym now."

The five teens headed through the hall towards the gymnasium where their World Studies exam would be held, talking excitedly about the night ahead. Lance admitted that he was going to have to talk to AJ before committing, but he hoped to be in attendance as well. As they passed the senior lounge, Nick nearly ran into Kevin. He had only seen him a handful of times in the past week and a half, which was definitely less than he’d been hoping for, but good in that it allowed him to focus on his exams. Not to mention on getting over his obsession with the senior. Looking at Kevin now, Nick knew his fight was hopeless and he’d never truly be over him. They exchanged smiles and Nick felt his cheeks blush.

"Hey Kev."

"Nick, how are you?" Kevin felt his stomach flip a few times. Their exam schedules hadn’t caused for them to see much of each other, and in that time, Kevin realized how much he missed the blonde. After talking to Chris about it, he learned it was exactly the same for his best friend after Valentine's day when he’d told Justin to leave him alone. That time away caused for true feelings to surface and now, more than ever, it was clear to Kevin the mistake he’d made in pushing Nick away.

"I’m good, off to write my last exam."

Kevin nodded. "I finished mine yesterday. I just had a few things to clear up before I’m gone from this place for good."

Nick frowned, he refused to think about the fact that next year, Kevin would be gone. "You’re coming back for graduation in two weeks right? And prom?"

"Yes," Kevin said with a smile. "I’m not gone forever just yet. But my education here is done."

"Nicky, we’re gonna be late," Justin said from down the hall. It was getting closer to two and the last thing they needed was to not be let in because Nick was too busy chatting with Kevin.

Nick looked pleadingly at Justin to give him a second before turning back to Kevin. "I have to go, my exam starts in a few minutes."

"Oh, definitely. Good luck," Kevin didn’t want to let the blonde go, but knew he had to.

"Thanks. Umm, are you gonna be at Brian’s tonight?"

Kevin nodded, hope rising in his chest. "Yeah. You?"

"Yep, we’re going. I’ll see you there then?" Nick’s stomach flipped at the thought. Thankfully, Kevin grinned.

"You will. Umm, and maybe we could ...talk." Kevin felt nervous at using the word talk, but he genuinely meant that he wanted to talk to Nick and had to make him realize that. "And by talk, I mean talk. I’m not using it to mean anything else, it’s been way too long since we’ve actually talked and I miss it. I miss you."

Nick’s face broke out into a grin that caused for Kevin’s pulse to race. "Yeah? Really?"

"Yeah."

"NICK."

Nick jumped. "Oh shit. Uh, yeah. We’ll talk tonight. I promise. Shit, I gotta go." And with that, Nick ran down the hall, sliding into the gymnasium doors just before they shut it. When he got inside, he leaned against the door and took a few deep breaths, feeling everyone in the room’s eyes on him.

"Thank you for joining is Mr. Carter," Miss. Hollinger’s voice rang through the gym. Nick smiled and tried to catch his breath.

"No problem, my pleasure." The crowd broke into nervous giggles as Nick sprinted to an empty seat, two chairs up from Justin. When he sat down, he closed his eyes and mentally cleared his head, finding that the picture of Kevin’s smiling face wouldn’t leave. Kevin wanted to talk, just to talk because he missed him. Nick felt his whole body tingle at the thought and couldn’t wait to write this exam so he could be done for the summer and see what was waiting for him next.

~*~*~*~

Lance finished his last short answer question and reread his exam. It was only three twenty and he was finished. With a look to his right, he could see Justin still writing frantically, trying to get everything down. Two chairs up from that, Nick was still writing as well, but more leisurely. Britney was behind him and he could hear her muttering to herself, a sign that she wasn’t happy with whatever she’d already written. And right next to him, Christina was twirling her blonde hair on her finger, looking as bored as he was. As he turned to look at her, she winked. They had a silent conversation and at the same time, they both stood up. Looking at one another, they raced up the long row to be the first to hand in their exam.

Christina won, just barely.

"Well Ms. Aguilera, Mr. Bass. Although I appreciate your enthusiasm, there are still people writing." Miss Hollinger said firmly. Everyone writing looked up to see what the commotion was, all wearing jealous glares on their faces. Nick stuck his tongue out at them as Justin put his head back down, trying to write even faster.

By three thirty, Nick joined them in the hall at their lockers.

By three forty-five, Britney came out, looking like she’d been trying to pull her hair out.

It was four when Justin emerged, the last person out. Everyone had smiles on their faces.

"We’re not freshmen anymore," Nick hollered as they danced around Fresh Meat Lane.

"Time to party," Justin agreed as he swung Britney around. It was during their dance that Josh and AJ strolled down to their lockers, looking at them with mock fear in their eyes.

"It’s the shimmy, but multiplied," AJ warned.

"Kind of like a tribal sacrifice dance," Josh snickered. "What is it called?"

"It’s the ‘were not freshmen anymore and we’re done for two whole months’ dance," Christina said as she shimmied over to where her boyfriend was watching. She threw her arms around Josh’s neck as he picked her up off of the ground. Their lips met in a sweet kiss before he put her back down on the ground. She shimmied again, this time forcing Josh to shimmy with her. "Come on, dance with us."

AJ snickered as he watched his friend get sucked into their ritual. Before he could stop himself, Lance was behind him, moving his own hips in a shimmy. "No.. No no no..." AJ tried to wriggle out of Lance’s grip. He found his boyfriend was plastered tightly against his back and fought to think of the reason why this wasn’t a good idea.

"So," Josh asked as he snuck away from the group. The last thing he needed was someone seeing him participating in whatever it was they were doing. "What’s the plan?"

Christina stopped moving and jumped up and down excitedly. "Pool party at Brian Littrell’s house. He invited Justin and told him to invite us all. Parents are out of the house, it’s supposed to be a big bash."

Josh’s lips curled into a grin as he pictured his girlfriend wearing a bathing suit, thrown into the water and clinging to him desperately. "Do you have a one piece or two?"

Christina responded by smacking her boyfriend in the arm playfully. "Pervert," she joked. When he wiggled his eyebrows she rolled her eyes. "Two." Looking down at her chest she frowned though. "Not that I fill it out or anything. I’m like a stick figure."

Josh leaned in and kissed her jaw, making sure only she could hear what he was going to say. "You’ll fill it out just fine. I like that they’re small enough to fit in my hands comfortably."

"Yeah?" Christina asked shyly. Her face was burning with embarrassment. Josh pulled her close and kissed her jaw again.

"Totally. You know what they say, more than a handful is a waste." He looked down at the rest of her body and smiled. "And you’re not a stick figure. You’re beautiful and gorgeous and sexy."

"Remind me to never get rid of you," Christina teased playfully. Josh always had a way of making her feel good about herself, especially when she was determined not to. Although she hadn’t run into her since New Years, the memory of Natalie, Josh’s ex-girlfriend, was permanently imprinted into her mind and Christina was continually measuring herself up against her. She knew how Josh felt about her and that she had nothing to worry about, but knowing how beautiful and sexy the older girl was, made her wonder why Josh wanted to be with her and not Natalie.

"I’ve only got my boring one piece," Britney pouted. "Maybe we can go to the mall and I’ll get another suit?"

The boys all rolled their eyes and held back their laughter.

"Why do girls need six bathing suits?" Lance asked as he dumped the last of his garbage out and emptied his locker entirely. "I mean, what’s the point?"

Britney rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You just don’t understand. You always need a plain black one in case you’re having a fat day and need to hide the extra weight."

All of the boys looked at her bare, non existent stomach in confusion. She continued without taking a breath.

"Then you need your two piece suit that is strictly for sun bathing purposes. Definitely not a suit that will stand up to water and games."

The looks of disbelief covered the boys’ faces.

"And then you need your sexy two piece that you CAN wear in the water when you’re playing with the boys.."

"You know what?" Lance asked as he held up his hand. "I don’t even want to know."

Britney scowled at him as the other boys all broke into laughter. "Well, what I’m saying is I only have my old red bathing suit. I haven’t bought a new one in ages."

"Is that the red one we saw a few weeks ago?" Justin asked, eyes wide. When Britney nodded his face broke out into a giant grin. "Then definitely wear it. That was hot."

"Yeah?" Britney asked thoughtfully. "You’re not just saying that so we don’t have to go buy a bathing suit?"

Justin shrugged. "Well, partly that. But mostly because it was hot and you looked good in it. One pieces can look good too you know. Leaves more to the imagination."

Britney exchanged a look with Christina who was nodding at her. "I told you. That suit is fabulous." The compliments made Britney smile and giggle.

"Okay, fine. You’ve convinced me. Now lets go to the shake shack for the snacks we were promised.

After snacks at the Shack, they decided to all go home for a bit to unwind before Brian’s party. They were originally going to just hang out until it was time to go, but Nick had admitted he wanted to take a nap before going back out and after thinking about it, everyone agreed it was a great idea. By the time AJ pulled up to Nick’s house at nine thirty, he was refreshed and ready to go.

He had butterflies in his stomach at the mere thought of Kevin being at Brian’s party that night and knowing that the older boy wanted to talk to him. Nick felt somewhat like he did at the beginning of the year, unsure of what was going to happen and what it all meant, but at the same time he didn’t feel as uncomfortable about it. It was more of a nervous excitement than just nerves, and that was working as adrenaline, pumping him up for the night ahead. He had wore his swimming trunks as shorts and put on a tee shirt and a pair of flip flops, a towel and an extra change of clothes in his knapsack. Minutes after he’d gotten home, Justin had phoned to see if Nick wanted to sleep over. Jane had been surprised that they hadn’t inquired about it before then and Nick knew he didn’t even have to ask.

"Can you believe we’re like ...here? And so cool about it?" Justin asked softly. They’d said their hellos to everyone at the party and thrown their bags down beside the two lawn chairs they had taken up residency in. Nick slid his feet out of his flip flops and crossed his legs in front of him.

"I know. I was thinking about that over exams. How in September ...man even like, October and November, we would have been DYING to just be noticed by them, and now we’re invited to all of Brian’s parties..." Nick shivered as he watched Kevin exit the house through the giant patio. He was wearing a pair of black swimming trunks and no tee shirt, the sight caused for Nick’s whole body to hum excitedly.

"I wonder what extra weight he’s trying to hide," Justin snickered. Nick blushed and giggled with his best friend. He couldn’t help but wonder as well.

They sat on the side lines for a little while, talking about anything and everything. Nick allowed himself to relax, knowing that he had two whole months off until the whole cycle had to start again.

"So," Justin started to ask. He’d been curious all day but hadn’t been alone with Nick to bring it up. "What was this afternoon all about?"

Nick’s face scrunched up as he tried to think. "World Studies. Maybe THAT’S why you were in there so long, you didn’t know what exam you were writing." At the look of annoyance on Justin’s face, Nick burst into laughter.

"No you dumbass," Justin growled, playfully punching Nick. "With Kevin. BEFORE the exam. The part where you nearly got locked out!"

Nick’s face burned at the memory and he shrugged noncommittally. "Oh... I don’t know." He took a deep breath and looked at his best friend. "It was weird. Different from how it usually is with us. He looked almost ...nervous to talk to me. How I usually am with him. Like he didn’t want to say the wrong thing or something."

Justin shrugged. "Maybe he didn’t." He thought about telling Nick about his conversation with Chris and knew he had to. If it were the other way around, he would want to know, and so he felt bad not telling Nick. "I was talking to Chris about you and Kevin."

"And?" Nick watched Justin pick nervously at the lawn chair he was sitting on and waited patiently.

"You know Kevin does care about you, right? Like, he wasn’t using you or anything."

There had been quite a few times where Nick had privately thought Kevin was using him for his own selfish pleasure. Knowing that Nick would do anything to be with him and keeping him on a leash so he didn’t have to start dating someone, but would still get action on a fairly regular basis. The thought had made Nick feel cheap and used, so he refused to let himself think too hard about it. He wasn’t willing to stop and say no to Kevin, no matter what the case was. Hearing Justin’s confession put his mind at ease and allowed for some of the discomfort in his stomach to evaporate.

"Yeah?"

Justin nodded. "He’s been beating himself up for hurting you so much when he was trying to do just the opposite. Apparently his parents are really horrible people, well, not horrible I guess, just focused and determined that their kids aren’t going to be failures."

Nick’s face fell. "And they see me as a failure."

Justin shook his head. "No, they don’t know about you at all." The toss up was to figure out which was worse, to be seen as a failure or not aware of your existence at all. Justin hoped that he hadn’t offended Nick with his comment. "It’s just that everything Kevin wants to do with his life is seen as a failure. They see HIM as the failure and are trying to mold him into the man they want him to become."

"Chris told you all that?" Nick asked in awe. He really did envy his best friend’s relationship with Chris.

"In confidence though, "Justin said softly. They were talking so low that no one around them could hear and Nick understood the weight of those three words. He flashed Justin a grateful smile which was returned instantly.

"Would he be mad if he found out you told me?"

"Probably," Justin admitted. He figured that Chris assumed he would tell Nick, but at the same time knew that Chris didn’t want him telling anyone. "We just won’t let him know you know. Or that I told you."

Nick winked at his best friend, linking their pinkies together. "Exactly." He held onto Justin’s pinkie for a little longer than necessary, face serious. "Do you think that we’re weird? You and me?"

"Weird how?"

"I don’t know. I heard Joey and Brian talking about us at Chris’ show before exams. I don’t think they realized I was behind them, and of course when I found out they were talking about us I didn’t let them know. But they were saying that there was something weird about us, how close we are and that they wouldn’t be surprised if we were cheating on Kevin and Chris together." Nick frowned as he looked to where Brian was standing, talking to Chris and Joey. "Do we seem as horrible people that we’d do that to someone? Is it weird how close we are?"

Justin felt his temper rise and he counted to ten to calm himself down. Commenting on how close they were was one thing, but accusing them of cheating was a whole other issue. He had never cheated on anyone before, and knew that he never would. Cheating was unforgivable and considered one of the worst things that someone could do to the person they loved. "Are you serious? They said that?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah. But ...they weren’t being mean about it. They were kind of ..speculating." He scratched his head, "it was weird. But it made me think. I mean, Chris told you not to tell anyone, but you still told me."

"I trust you, Nicky." Justin said. "I know that I can tell you anything and you wouldn’t tell anyone else."

"But... If he said to tell you something, and specifically told you not to tell me, would you?"

"Do you need to know?" Justin asked, seriously.

"What?"

"Whatever he told me, hypothetically. The thing he told me not to tell you, do you need to know. Does it affect you?"

Nick thought about it, finally shrugging. "I don’t know. Does it matter?"

Justin nodded, "yes, it does. I mean, if he told me something about you and said ‘but don’t tell Nick I said so’ I would. But if he said something about someone else, or something else that had no effect on you, I wouldn’t tell you because you don’t need to know."

"So ..." Nick thought about the situation further. "If it WAS about me, and he said not to tell me and if you did, he would break up with you, would you tell me?"

Justin answered without even thinking about it. "Yes. Of course."

"But ... He would break up with you." Nick said, surprised at Justin’s insistence.

"Reverse it, it’s you and Kevin now and you’re telling ME something he’s told you not to tell me." Justin smiled as Nick rolled his eyes. "See?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah." Nick did see. As important as Kevin was to him, Justin ranked higher. Justin had been there his whole life, Justin was the only constant that he knew he could count on no matter what, and as many people as there were in the world, he could find another boyfriend, but another best friend, one that he trusted unconditionally? Nick knew there wasn’t one out there.

"Does Chris think we’re too close? Does he worry?" Nick asked, concerned. He hated to think that Brian and Joey’s speculation would harm his best friend’s relationship needlessly. Thankfully, Justin shook his head.

"No. They’d brought it up to him too, and he just told them to mind their own fucking business. He knows he can trust me, and he’s not the type to be jealous. At least not in stupid situations like with us."

"Oh god, does Kevin..."

Justin shook his head again. "No. He knows that there’s nothing. Joey and Brian are just retarded sometimes. Don’t worry about it." Before they could say anything more, Lance came over, pushing Nick forward more on the chair. He sat down behind them, flashing them both a smile.

"So, why are you both being unsocial?"

Nick shrugged. "Just talking."

"About?" Lance felt comfortable crashing in on Justin and Nick’s private talks now. He had been a part of so many that he knew if they wanted him to leave them alone, they would just say so. It was that way for all of them and no one took anything personally. Since they didn’t tell him to go away, he knew he was welcome to stay.

"Kevin and Chris, what else do we talk about anymore?"

Lance chuckled as he nodded his head. "Seriously." His eyes flickered over to where the objects of their conversation were all talking and he smiled. "He so loves you." Neither Justin nor Nick knew to whom he was talking. Lance looked at them and saw their confusion. "Oh, well I guess that could go for you too J, but I’m talking about Nick. Kevin and Nick."

"Yeah?"

Lance nodded. "Yeah. Chris told me," Lance’s voice lowered and he looked around suspiciously. "And don’t you dare tell him I told you." Justin and Nick giggled as Lance nodded. "I’m serious, he’ll kill me."

"Did either of you ever stop to think maybe he told you both all of this private stuff HOPING you’d tell me? I mean, you’re my two best friends, of course you’re going to tell me stuff about me and Kevin!"

Justin and Lance both paused for a moment. They looked at each other and burst into laughter, garnering the attention of everyone around them. Chris and Kevin shot the three boys strange looks and they all ducked their heads together, trying to seem as inconspicuous as they could. "I never even thought..." Justin admitted with a snort.

Lance agreed. "Yeah, but it makes sense. Anyways. Chris told me that Kevin is kicking himself for pushing you away when you told him you ...you know."

Justin’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Nick hadn’t told him he’d said ‘IT’. "You ...you what? Why didn’t you tell me?"

Nick covered his face with his hands and shook his head in embarrassment. "I didn’t tell anyone. It was so embarrassing."

"What happened?" Justin asked, rubbing Nick’s back comfortingly.

"It was at Lance’s party," Nick started with a sigh. "We went outside to ‘talk’ and ...well we were making out, as usual. He kissed me and I pulled away and just ....blurted it out. I love you." He stopped as Justin gasped, a giant grin covered his face. "And ..he pushed me away and said we couldn’t do this anymore. Again, he always says it, but that night he meant it. He was so repulsed by me telling him I love him that he couldn’t even look at me."

"He wasn’t repulsed," Lance assured him.

"You weren’t there," Nick argued. "You didn’t see the look on his face."

"No, but I know what he told Chris. He wasn’t repulsed."

"Well, either way he pushed him away," Justin said. They looked over to where Kevin was still watching them, a lost expression in his eyes. Justin smiled and turned to Nick. "You said he wanted to ‘talk’ to you tonight?"

"Yeah, but talk. Not make out."

"Even better," Justin stood up and pulled Lance to his feet. "Now, I want to go talk to my boyfriend and his friends. And I need you for support."

"Why?" Lance asked suspiciously. He recognized that fire in Justin’s eyes and knew that no matter what it was, he didn’t want to miss it.

"You’ll see. I have some business to clear up."

Nick snickered and nodded in Justin’s direction. "Be nice."

Justin shrugged. "We’ll see. Now wave him over and TALK."

Within seconds, Nick found himself alone. It took the blink of an eye for Kevin to be across the yard, standing in front of him. "Are you busy?"

Nick shook his head and a genuinely shy smile covered his face. "With you actually, wanna sit down?"

End Chapter 45


Chapter 46 >