< Chapter 36

Chapter 37

March passed by in a whirlwind. Nick and Justin were busy with city and state finals for their respective basketball teams on top of midterms and other engagements that they had. The Varsity team had made it as far as the State quarter finals, losing in an overtime match by only two points, two points that had been the result of the other team getting two foul shots due to, what Justin proclaimed was, a bogus foul charge. Justin had stood at the bottom of the key, grumbling as he watched the other player sink both baskets to end the game and consequently, their road to the state finals.

"I’m so sorry," Justin apologized after the game in the locker room. He suspected he would be thrown from the team for his fault in their losing the game. What he hadn’t been expecting was Coach Griffiths to clap him on the shoulder and sit him down on the bench.

"Don’t be, that was the worst reffing I’ve seen in a damn long time. I think he had his head in his ass the whole night and wouldn’t surprise me if the other team had paid him to throw the game. That wasn’t in any terms a foul Justin, you didn’t even touch that kid."

"I know but I was riding him too close."

Griffiths shook his head "No, you weren’t. It wasn’t your fault."

"Besides," Craig Lyons said happily. This is the farthest we’ve gotten in years. It would have been nice to go to the finals and win since it’s my last year, but I’ll be at the finals next year to watch you win. No matter where I am, you guys better call me and let me know where and when I need to be."

Their support made Justin feel a little better in knowing that they didn’t blame him for their dreams being squashed.

Nick’s team, on the other hand, had faired much better luck in their road to the freshman championship. Theirs wasn’t a state wide, but a county wide championship, one that Lincoln High won uncontested. It had been nearly effortless and as the whole school sat in the stands in some unknown gymnasium, as they played a school Nick had never heard of, they all watched Nick lead his team to the first Championship that the Lincoln High freshman boys basketball team had ever won.

Once the basketball season was over, Justin had started to divide his time up between hanging out with Chris at lunches and the gang in the Soph quad. Now that he didn’t have practices, he found that he had a lot more free time than he had before. "So, what do you want to do tonight?" Justin asked Chris as they walked from the Report office to Chris’ locker. There was a few minutes left of lunch and Justin knew they were going to have to part soon.

"I’m babysitting," Chris frowned. He still felt slightly awkward around Justin when discussing his family situation. Despite how many times Justin had told him he didn’t care, it still nagged at him.

"Okay, I’ll come by," Justin offered with a grin. The smile was short lived as Chris frowned and shook his head.

"No, I’ll just call you when everyone goes to bed."

"But.." Justin still hadn’t seen Chris’ house and he was quickly getting tired of the older boy’s refusal to let him come over.

"No, you can’t come over," Chris was adamant. He felt his cheeks flush and he refused to look at Justin. His boyfriend’s reaction came as a surprise to him.

"Fine. I won’t." Rather than continue down the long stretch of hallway with Chris, Justin turned quickly and headed back in the direction that they’d come from, leaving Chris standing by himself.

Chris turned around to see Justin’s retreating back and felt his stomach drop. Although he thought that he could handle Justin knowing about his home life, Chris still had reservations about letting the freshman completely into his life. He knew that it was a matter of time before Justin stopped being so understanding, but Chris hadn’t let himself think too hard about that. Now it looked like he was going to have to face his insecurities and make a decision. By the time he reached his locker, Chris was both frustrated and angry with himself.

"You look miserable," Kevin announced. Chris growled at his best friend and shook his head.

"Not now Kevin, I’m not in the mood."

"What happened?"

Chris sighed and rest his forehead against his locker door. "Same shit."

Kevin simply shrugged. "You’re going to have to be a little less vague than that, same shit could mean almost anything with you."

"He wants to come over, spend time with me at home." Chris had butterflies just thinking about it. He hated the thought of Justin seeing his house, his family and changing his opinion of him. Chris loved the way the younger boy looked at him with such awe, respect and admiration, that the thought of that changing scared the shit out of him. "I just don’t want to lose him."

"You’re going to if you keep up with this shit," Kevin pointed out gingerly. "It’s been weeks Chris, and you always avoid having him come home with you. You go to his house, but you won’t let him see yours."

"Have you forgotten where I live?" Chris growled.

"You’re making an issue out of this when it isn’t. He doesn’t care Chris, he loves you. HE LOVES YOU! Why can’t you just accept it and be happy?"

Chris knew that Kevin was right. It was as if he was trying to set them up to fail just so it wouldn’t be harder later on. Except that it was hard now and Chris hated seeing the look of disappointment on Justin’s face every time he refused to let him come over. He narrowed his eyes and gave his best friend a suspicious look. "Why don’t you take your own advice?"

"What are you talking about?" Kevin felt his stomach flip a few times and he busied himself by tying his shoe.

"You haven’t started seeing anyone since you and Gretchen broke up."

"So?"

"So?" Chris said. "SO? So I know girls have asked you out and still, no one."

"I’m just not interested in anyone that’s..."

Chris burst into laughter, startling Kevin. "That’s bull shit. Someone has asked you out and you were interested. Still are, which is why you haven’t started seeing anyone." Chris could see the way Kevin’s cheeks turned pink and he knew he was right. "What I don’t get, is why you’re playing these games."

Kevin refused to look at Chris and shrugged, hoping that his actions didn’t betray the way he was churning inside.

"Why you’re pretending that you don’t want to be with ..." Chris lowered his voice "...him."

"Who?"

Chris cocked an eyebrow. "The blonde that I see you talking to every morning before home room. The blonde who has not only caused you start walking through Fresh Meat Lane every morning to get to the Senior Lounge, but now has you stopping to talk every single morning." Kevin moved to refute Chris’ accusations but was cut off. "You don’t think I realized what was going on? I mean shit Kevin, did you not think we’d realize that we were going out of our way to get to the Lounge? Fresh Meat Lane isn’t exactly the shortest route to get there, especially from our lockers. But you said that we should head your ‘new’ way and we did. It took me a while to realize which of the Fresh Meat kids it was that had you all turned out, but I did."

Kevin looked his best friend in the eye and felt his resolve crumble. It was true, all of it. He’d seen Nick in early September as he’d been sent on an assignment to deliver a note from his Physics teacher to someone downstairs. He’d taken Fresh Meat Lane to prolong the walk and had passed by Nick who had been standing at his locker, supposed to have been in class but pulling books out of his locker. From that day on, he had suggested they head through Fresh Meat Lane to get to the Senior Lounge. He couldn’t explain it at the time, nor was he interested in analyzing his behaviour, but as time went on, he couldn’t deny that he was strangely attracted to this boy.

"And now, now you don’t go a day without talking to him, do you?"

Kevin shook his head. There was no use denying it. He was surprised when Chris’ demeanor changed from accusatory to sympathetic. "So you like him, why is that a bad thing?"

"I didn’t say it was," Kevin replied in all honesty. He thought about Nick, about his smile and that sparkle of excitement he got in his eyes every day when Kevin approached him and grinned. His stomach filled with butterflies.

"Then why are you torturing yourself, and him?" You know he wants you, you want him."

"I told you before Chris, it’s not the right time." Kevin was starting to run out of excuses, not to mention desire to keep pushing Nick away. He didn’t want to think about it, so he turned the focus back onto Justin and Chris. "Besides, this isn’t about me. This is about you and Justin."

Chris growled and slammed his locker shut. He was surprised to see Nick heading down the hall towards them. With one glance at Kevin, Chris saw his best friend’s features change, a glow emanating from his face.

"Justin’s coming home with you tonight to help you baby sit, or by god Chris, I’m going to kick your ass."

"Language Nick," Kevin teased. His stomach fluttered as Nick stuck his tongue out at him and grinned.


"Watch out Richardson, I’ll kick yours too." Nick turned his attention back to Chris and glared at him. "I don’t know what your problem is, but get over it." He dared Chris to argue. When none was forthcoming he nodded. "Good. Now I have to go and get a late slip and get to class before I get another tardy. Why do they make classes so that they get in the way of everything else?"

Kevin gave a laugh as he nodded in Nick’s direction. "I have a free period right now, so I"ll walk you to the office and then to your computer class." He turned to Chris and gave him a look of warning not to say anything. He didn’t have to worry as Chris was too stunned at Nick’s outburst to respond.

"Nick?" Chris finally said just before the two teens were about to turn the hall. Nick stopped and turned his attention towards him.

"What?"

"Does he hate me? Is he mad?"

"Hate you? No! Mad? Well that’s debatable." He saw Chris fight a smile and grinned at him. "He’s pretty patient, which is good because you’re pretty bull headed. If you keep pushing him away, he’s going to get a complex. Stop being an ass and let him in. I don’t want to have to kick your ass for breaking his heart again."

"You know you can’t beat me up right? That I’d demolish you?" Chris asked, humour in his voice. Nick’s playful expression turned serious.

"I wouldn’t bet on it."

Before Chris could argue, Nick tugged on Kevin’s sleeve and they turned the corner heading towards the office so that he could get what was probably his millionth late slip that year.

The end of the day came rather quickly and Chris was alternately thrilled and nervous about the week’s end. He was glad that he had two days off from being at school, but at the same time, had a feeling that Justin would be waiting for him to go home with him. When he headed down the hall towards his locker, the sight of Justin sitting down, reading a book caused his pulse to speed up. Chris stopped for a moment to take in the sight of Justin waiting for him and allowed the moment to wash over him. He never expected for his year to unfold the way it had been and the biggest, yet best surprise was the freshman boy who was currently waiting for him, despite how hard Chris continually pushed him away. If he had to seriously think about what he was doing, the closest to an explanation that Chris could come to was that he was testing Justin. It wasn’t something he was proud of, but at the same time he couldn’t stop himself. He was continually testing Justin’s patience, trying to see
 whether or not he would leave at the first sign of resistance. Thankfully, Justin still hadn’t been scared away, although Chris wasn’t sure how much more the younger boy would take.

Justin could feel someone staring at him. He finished the page he was reading and looked up, pleased to find Chris standing about a hundred feet away, watching him. Their eyes met and Justin felt the familiar rush of excitement flow through his body he came to expect when Chris was around. The half grin was on his face before he had a chance to register it and Justin crooked his finger, beckoning his boyfriend near.


Everything inside of him told Chris to run, but he knew that if he did, he would only regret it. The truth was, he didn’t want to run. Or if he did, it was TO Justin, not away from him. Justin was everything Chris didn’t think he would ever find, and the fact that he wanted him, Chris Kirkpatrick, was just icing on the cake. Chris’ cheeks flushed as he approached. "Hey," he said softly. He knew that he should apologize for earlier, but before he could, Justin tugged on his wallet chain playfully, a signal that they’d agreed on one night. Whenever Justin wanted to kiss Chris, or tell him how much he cared about him, he would just tug on the chain, and then when they were alone, he would give him the message in it’s entirety. Chris’ snarl was an automatic reaction to the feel of the chain tugging, which was his own signal back to Justin.

Justin visibly swooned. Chris’ chest nearly burst with happiness.

"I got you something," Justin said as he fished through his backpack. When he found what he was looking for, he held it up proudly, presenting it to Chris.

"Goobers?" Chris asked with a smile. He rolled his eyes as Justin nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, goobers. ‘Cause you are one!"

"You’re retarded," Chris growled. He stuck his head inside his locker, pretending to look for something so that no one would see the giant grin that had decorated his face. He’d been known for the past four years for being mean and insolent, and the constant smile that had been on his face as of late was seriously damaging his reputation for being an asshole.

Justin leaned down and said softly, "retarded for you. Goober." By the time Chris had straightened up and looked into Justin’s eyes, all traces of embarrassment had gone.

"Good," Chris whispered. Their eyes met and they exchanged a meaningful glance. Justin shifted his bag nervously and Chris could tell that he was unsure of what was going to happen next.

"Nick said he talked to you," Justin started.

Chris raised an eyebrow. "That kid is nuts."


Justin grinned as he nodded. "Isn’t it great?"

"Actually," Chris said as he contemplated it further. "It is. You’re a lucky guy to have him as a friend."

"You’re his friend too," Justin announced. When Chris flashed Justin a strange smile Justin nodded. "You are, he likes you. Thinks you’re cool. You don’t scare him, but I think he knows that if I didn’t stop you from hurting him, Kevin would."

Chris couldn’t help but agree with that. "Yeah, those two have the weirdest relationship.."

Justin shook his head. "No, we do. Theirs is only slightly less screwed up." Justin took a deep breath and bit his lip. Finally he spoke. "So, if you really don’t want me to come home..."

"No.. I do." Chris had been thinking about it all afternoon, since Nick had confronted him, and now that he had the vision of Justin at his house, having dinner with his sisters and hanging out with them, he couldn’t get it out of his head. Not to mention the thrill of having Justin down in his room after everyone had gone to bed. Chris couldn’t stop the butterflies in his stomach. When Justin’s face showed his relief, Chris grinned. "Yeah, I do want you to come. I just don’t want you to freak out."

Justin tugged on Chris’ chain again, the action saying more than he could convey with words.

On the way home, Chris and Justin had to stop at the grocery store to pick up some more food for dinner. After debating on what to get, they agreed on hot dogs and salad, something that they knew the kids would eat but wasn’t completely junk food. "We’ve got to stop at Mrs. Wilington’s house," Chris announced. He led Justin to a neat white house and knocked on the door. "The kids come here until I get out of school."


Justin simply nodded. The door opened and a sweet looking elderly lady stood before him. Upon seeing Chris, her face broke out into a grin. "Christopher."

"Hi Mrs. Wilington. How are you today?"

"Good, good Chris. And who is this?"

"This is Justin," Chris introduced them. He watched as Justin politely said hello and shook the woman’s hand. "We’re here for the girls."

Mrs. Wilington took a whistle out of her pocket and gave it a nice, long blow, the noise scaring Justin so much he screamed. Chris started to laugh, followed by Mrs. Wilington. "Sorry sweetie, I should have warned you."

Justin gave the old woman a look of shock, which only intensified as the space behind her was filled with young girls.

"They don’t hear her unless she blows the whistle," Chris explained. They’re always so focused on the TV that they tune everything out. So she blows the whistle instead of screaming herself hoarse."

Justin nodded as his ears continued to ring. Chris’ seven sisters all started to get their coats and bags together, while Chris tried to hurry them up.

"What are we having for dinner?" One asked, tugging on Chris’ pant leg. Chris leaned down to pick her up and kissed her cheek affectionately.

"Hot dogs and salad," Chris announced to choruses of excitement. Mrs. Wilington gave Chris a smile.

"Darling, did you need anything?"

Justin held up the bags, "nope, we got it all. Thank you."

"Okay, well if you do, just let me know.

Ten minutes later everyone was ready and Chris and Justin herded everyone the block away to his house. Justin took a moment to fully digest Chris’ house and wondered what his boyfriend was so worried about. It wasn’t anything like the house that Kyle lived in, or the house in West Hill that he’d been at the party for, but it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, at least he didn’t think so. But as he looked at the group of kids and watched Chris try to keep everything in order, he realized for a family this size, the house probably was a little small for them. Watching Chris with his sisters only made him love the older boy even more.

"So get inside, watch TV for a bit. We’ll call you when dinner’s ready." Chris ordered. All of his sisters except for one ran into the living room. "What’s up Bethany?"

"I ...can I stay in here with you Chrissy?" The girl who couldn’t have been more than six looked up at her big brother, eyes wide and full of hope. Chris had been hoping for some alone time to talk to Justin, but knew that it would have to wait. Before he could answer, Justin did so for him.

"Of course you can. Come on, do you have any coloring books and crayons?"

Bethany’s eyes widened even more and a giant toothy grin covered her face. Justin could see sizable gaps, probably from where she’d been losing her baby teeth. "Yeah, you want to colour?"

"Sure do," Justin said encouragingly. He watched her run from the room and found himself in the middle of a steamy kiss with Chris.

"What was that for?" Justin breathed as the kiss broke. Chris only kissed him again, not speaking until it broke.


"That was for not knowing why I kissed you in the first place."

Justin’s grin was still on his face when Bethany returned. "I’m Bethany," she said excitedly, flipping through her book. "Chris is my brother."

"I’m Justin," Justin replied. "Chris is a cool brother, huh?"

"The coolest." She began colouring, pointing at the next page for Justin to start. She was quiet for a moment before she turned to Justin, face serious. "He’s a rock star. Did you know that?"

Justin giggled as Chris stood at the sink, washing the vegetables. He could see Chris’ cheeks redden and in that moment, Justin was more happy than he’d ever been in his entire life. "I know, I’ve got to see him perform."

"Are you the Justin from school? The one he’s always telling Kevin and Joey he’s in love with?"

"Beth!" Chris scolded. The little girl only smiled innocently, unaware of the implications of her words.

"What? Is it a different Justin?" Suddenly she was frowning with worry. Chris sighed and Justin giggled.

"No, it’s not a different Justin. I’m that Justin." It was Justin’s turn to look at Chris with an innocent smile. "Unless I’m not?"

"I think you are," Bethany tried to assure Justin who was fighting not to burst into laughter. Chris turned around and growled.

"You know you are."

Justin’s face lit up in a 100 watt smile and Chris’s lips unconsciously curled up into a grin.

"Awesome." Justin said. Beth looked at him and grinned.

"Awesome." She repeated.

Dinner was a feat unto itself and finally, by eight thirty Justin and Chris had managed to get everyone tucked into bed. They each took turns reading the girls a story. While Justin was in one room, Chris was in the other and they switched. Although his oldest sisters were twelve, they joined in the excitement of having a guest over and having twice as much attention paid to them. By nine they were down in Chris’ room, Justin curled in the centre of the bed while Chris sat cross legged by Justin’s feet.

"So?" Chris wanted to know what Justin was thinking, whether or not his family had scarred him for life.


"So, that was so much fun."

"Really?"

"Totally." Justin sat up and crawled onto Chris’ lap so that he could wrap his legs around Chris’ torso. "I don’t know what you were worried about."

Chris looked around at his basement bedroom, finished but not luxurious. Not like Justin’s bedroom anyways. "This, this is my life. My mom will get home at about eleven tonight and then be back at work by seven tomorrow for the morning shift."

Justin leaned in to kiss Chris from continuing. When the older boy stopped talking, Justin pulled away. "What time will she be home tomorrow?"

"She’s only working till four."

"So you’re not babysitting?"

Chris shook his head.

"Good, then we can do something together."

"I have band practice for a bit." Chris bit his lip before he asked, "did you want to come?"

Justin’s eyes widened and he started to bounce excitedly on Chris’ lap. "To your band rehearsal? Can I?"

Chris laughed as he pushed Justin over. With that one movement, he was laying over Justin hovering over him. "Yes." He enjoyed the whimper and sigh of contentment that came from his boyfriend.

"Can I bring Nick?"

Chris thought about it. He knew that since he and Justin had started going out, Justin’s time with Nick had severely diminished. And although neither boy had said that it had bothered them, he felt slightly guilty about taking all of Justin’s time. "Sure."

"You’re the best," Justin said as he kissed Chris, licking seductively at the inside of his mouth. All it took was a growl from Chris for Justin to relinquish his control and submit. Both boys smiled into each other’s mouths.

"I know."


End Chapter 37


Chapter 38 >