< Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Nick watched as the basement door opened and Kevin emerged, the sight of the senior caused his chest to swell and his stomach to flip. He’d thought Kevin wasn’t at the party, but he seemed to have been in the basement the whole time. Moments before, Justin had gone down there, so he figured that Kevin had been talking to Chris since that was who Justin was looking for. He watched for a few moments as Kevin grabbed a can of root beer from the fridge and headed towards the front verandah for fresh air. Nick waited a few moments to make sure no one else was going to follow him and he went out, pleased to find Kevin sitting in the corner of the porch, hidden by the darkness. He had propped himself up on the railing, sitting quietly by himself.

"Hey," Nick announced his presence. Kevin looked up and their eyes met. "You really like being outside at parties, huh?" Kevin was sitting at the corner of the railing, so Nick hiked himself up on the adjoining piece.

"Hey," Kevin greeted him back. "Yeah, I guess I do." Kevin let out a chuckle. "I should have known you were here when I saw Justin downstairs. How are you?"

Nick shrugged. "I’m okay. Same old stuff, really. How are you?"

Kevin let out a sarcastic laugh. "Still having a shitty time. I thought that once I got rid of the crying girlfriend in the bathroom I'd be okay, but ...no. Now I'm still lonely and miserable, but at the end of the night, I'm not going to be getting any action. At least with her I knew I was."

Nick giggled nervously, refusing to allow his mind to picture Kevin making out with Gretchen. Or him. "I’m sorry to hear that. I was really surprised to hear that you and Gretchen had broken up for good. I thought you’d have gotten back together this time."

Kevin shook his head. "Nope we’re done for good. It was hard, but I had to do it. For both of us."

Nick wondered if it had to do with what he’d said to Kevin. "Is it because..."

Kevin was about to nod, then he shook his head. "Kind of, but not really. You really made me think and that night I went home and couldn’t sleep. I spent all night thinking about what you’d said and everything that Joey, Chris and Brian have been telling me for months. Years maybe. And that night she started in on me again and I realized that if I didn’t do it then, I never would."

Nick’s eyes were wide and his lips had formed an ‘o’ of surprise. "Wow. I wish I had have been there, from what I heard it was huge."

Kevin laughed as he brought the can of root beer up to his lips. "Yeah, it’s never a quiet evening when you’re out with Gretchen."

"I guess not." Nick took a deep breath and looked out into the darkness. He wasn’t sure what to say next so he said nothing.

After a few silent minutes, Kevin slid down from the railing and stood, leaning back against it. He turned to look at Nick, a smile playing on his lips. "So, at Brian’s you mentioned that there were tons of girls who would make me happy."

Nick felt his heart hammering in his chest and his mouth went dry. He gave a shaky nod and looked down at the porch beneath him, refusing to look at Kevin. "Uhhh, I think I said tons of people."

This was it, this was his defining moment. Justin had told him countless times how he’d gotten the nerve at Brian’s house to find Chris out and talk to him until he confessed how much he liked him. His best friend had made it sound so easy and Nick promised himself that if he ever was given the opportunity, he would do the same. The main reason for going to Joey’s that night was to tell Kevin that he liked him and now he was being given the perfect opportunity to do so. It didn’t matter that Nick’s heart was racing, that his stomach was churning and he swore he wanted the ground to swallow him whole, either he had to do this or move on from it. The way Kevin was looking at him, his body turned just slightly towards Nick gave him the courage to take a deep breath and reveal his feelings towards Kevin.

Nick looked up and saw a twinkle of surprise in Kevin’s eyes. He knew that his cheeks were a very deep crimson colour, but he didn’t care. Either way, he was too far gone to stop now. He watched Kevin’s face scrunch up, indicating that he was thinking about something. Finally he smiled and Nick’s stomach did flips.

"You know, you’re right. You said there were people who could make me happy."

Nick nodded. "I know, I said it. And it’s true. You’re a great guy Kevin, you’re popular but nice. The popular people are usually really snobby and assholes, but you’re not. You’re nice to everyone, you don’t treat anyone bad and everyone likes you. Plus you’re really good looking, an awesome football player.."

"And still, since I’ve broken up with Gretchen, no one has even tried to ask me out," Kevin pouted. Nick’s knees went to mush.

"Maybe they’re intimidated. You’re Kevin Richardson and it’s hard to tell the most popular boy in school you want to go out with him. They’re expecting you to ask them out."

"It’s hard for me to decide who to go out with if I don’t know who is interested."

Nick shivered as Kevin stepped in closer to him. He gave a smile as he wiped his sweating palms on his jeans. "Maybe you should ask out who YOU want to go out with?"

Kevin cocked his head to the side. "That’s the thing, I don’t really know. I was hoping that they would come to me and make it easy for me."

Nick held his breath, this was his big chance. He licked his lips and turned to face Kevin who was looking out at the starry sky. "Can ....can I tell you something?" It was too late to go back now, Nick just had to get his nerves under control and get it out. Kevin turned to look at him and smiled at the look of apprehension on Nick’s face.

"Of course."

"I mean ..without ...without you getting freaked out?"

Kevin nodded. "Yeah."

"I ..." Nick slid off of the banister and paced the end of the verandah nervously. He looked at Kevin who was watching him, face serious, not at all mocking like Nick feared. Of course, he hadn’t said anything yet, so there was still time for the mocking. Nick continued on anyways. "Since the beginning of the year, when I saw you in the hall ...I’ve kind of .."

"Yes?"

"Hadacrushonyou." Nick said it very quickly, without taking a breath. He looked down at the floor as he waited for Kevin’s reaction.

Kevin inhaled sharply, not at all expecting Nick to admit to the crush he’d had on him all year. Kevin wasn’t blind, nor was he deaf, he’d known about Nick’s crush since the beginning of the year. Every day they would walk through Fresh Meat Lane to go to the Senior lounge and every day he would hear Justin and Nick talk about them as they’d passed, not to mention how obvious it was with Nick standing in the hallway, watching him in awe. It wasn’t anything that had bothered Kevin, and thus he hadn’t done anything to discourage Nick’s affections. When he’d first started talking to Nick because of Brian and basketball, he’d expected him to be like the endless freshmen girls who flirted with him during football season, but he’d been surprised to find that Nick was actually a pretty good kid. He didn’t seem to let his crush on Kevin affect how he treated him and the more they talked, the more Kevin started to like him.

There was also the fact that Kevin was flattered by Nick’s affections. Knowing that the girls all had crushes on him was old news for Kevin, but to have one of the boys look up to him, dream about him and like him like that made his stomach do flips that he hadn’t felt before. And although Kevin hadn’t told anyone except Chris up until this point, he couldn’t deny that there was something about Nick that Kevin couldn’t get out of his mind. There would be times when he’d be kissing Gretchen, his hands in her long blonde hair, and his mind would focus on Nick, how he would have been looking at him earlier that day, or the way he stood up for Justin in the fall by the senior lounge, or some other insignificant memory that had etched it’s way into Kevin’s mind. But Kevin knew that he couldn’t let on to Nick that he’d known about his crush on him. The younger boy already looked embarrassed enough and Kevin didn’t want to admit to that.

"You do?"

Nick nodded. "Kinda. Sorta, yeah." Nick’s stomach flipped as Kevin gave him a wide grin. "You’re such an awesome guy, so gorgeous and smart. And I can’t believe that you don’t have a girlfriend. I thought that as soon as you and Gretchen broke up, you’d have someone almost immediately. I mean, why wouldn’t you, you’re Kevin Richardson, and everyone wants to be with you."

"Wow, I ..." Kevin took a breath and had to focus for a moment. Nick was looking at him so intently and Kevin could feel excitement and nervousness pool in his stomach. The feeling caught him off guard slightly. "Thank you Nick. I’m very flattered."

Nick’s face fell. This didn’t sound all too good, definitely not what he’d been expecting. "Flattered."

Kevin nodded. He grabbed a hold of Nick’s arm to recapture his attention. "Yes, flattered Nick. You’re a really great guy."

Nick was thankful that Kevin hadn’t said kid. That would have broken his heart. He listened closely, wanting to memorize everything Kevin said to him, his arm was tingling where Kevin had it held in his hand.

"I was really surprised how cool you were when we started talking, I thought you were like most of the other freshmen idiots, but you’re not. You’re different. And I really like you.."

Nick felt his hopes rise. His mouth formed into a grin and he nodded enthusiastically.

"But I’m not the one for you."

Nick’s face fell and Kevin felt his own smile falter. "Oh."

"You need someone who doesn’t have as many issues as I do. Someone who isn’t going to leave you in the fall to go to school. Someone who is your age and that you can be with all the time."

"I don’t want that," Nick said. The nervousness was gone, replaced by an insistence to make Kevin understand. He wondered if this was what Justin felt when he was talking to Chris. "I want you. Since I first saw you I’ve wanted you. I don’t care that you’re going away in September. I don’t care about any of that, I care about you."

Kevin pulled Nick close, unable to help himself from hugging him tightly. He felt Nick press against his body, taking full advantage of the contact. Kevin failed to let himself think about how good it felt to have Nick’s body against his, how well they fit together and how it made his skin tingle.

"I know you do, and thank you. It makes me feel so good to know that you feel that way about me, but it wouldn’t be fair to you Nick. I don’t want to hurt you."

Nick pulled back. His breathing was laboured and he felt faint. He’d never felt better in his life. The feeling of being in Kevin's arms like that would stay with him forever. "You won’t hurt me Kevin, you could never hurt me."

Kevin cupped Nick’s face gently. He gave an apologetic smile and nodded. "I would Nick. I know it doesn’t seem right now that I would, but we’re in different places right now. I don’t think you’re as ready as you think you are, and I know I’m not."

Nick thought he would cry at this moment, the moment he’d always feared when anticipating telling Kevin how he felt. He was most definitely being rejected, and while Nick thought he knew how he would react, he didn’t. There was a heaviness in his heart, and his stomach felt empty, but at the same time he felt relief. Relief that now he finally knew whether or not Kevin would want him back. He suspected Kevin always knew about his crush, but there was always that doubt. And now, now that Nick knew what Kevin’s reaction was, he could try to get over him. It still hurt though, and Nick refused to let go of Kevin so soon.

"Could ..." Nick started, shyly.

"Could what?" Kevin asked. He lifted Nick’s chin so that they were staring into each other’s eyes. Nick still had his arms around his waist and Kevin wasn’t in any rush to push him away, at least not yet.

"It’s Valentines day, and I always kind of thought ...hoped more like it ...that you would be my first ..." Nick blushed and Kevin found himself blushing as well. He thought he knew what Nick was going to say but still wanted to be sure.

"First what Nick?"

"Would you kiss me? I mean, I kinda kissed J on new year’s eve, but it was fast and not a *real* kiss. I know you don’t like me..."

"I didn’t say I don’t like you," Kevin argued softly.

Nick trembled. "...I mean ...like THAT."

Kevin bit his tongue from saying what was on his mind. He hadn’t necessarily said he didn’t like Nick like that, he merely said it wouldn’t work and that Nick deserved someone else, someone better. Which was true, but it didn’t mean that Kevin wasn’t interested in him.

"But I know you don’t like me like that, but I sort of ...was hoping that you’d kiss me and be my first real kiss." Kevin didn’t say anything, Nick nodded sadly. "But if you don’t.."

"Shhh," Kevin whispered softly. He took a second to make sure that there was no one else ready to interrupt their private, intimate moment. He wanted this to be perfect for Nick. When he was certain they were alone, he slowly moved in so that his nose brushed against Nick’s. "Are you ready?"

Nick’s lips were parted and his eyes were open wide. He hadn’t expected Kevin to actually agree to kiss him, but there he was, barely an inch away. Nick could feel Kevin’s breath on his skin and goose bumps appeared all over his body. "Yes," he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut.

Kevin leaned in and pressed their mouths together gently, kissing Nick with as much tenderness that he knew that the blonde deserved for his first kiss. The first kiss lasted for only a few minutes until Nick whimpered and finally pulled away, breathless. Nick opened his eyes to see Kevin watching him, his own breathing laboured. It was Nick who leaned in this time, before their mouths met, he whispered "Happy Valentine’s Day Kevin" and kissed him, this time parting his lips in invitation.

Whether Nick realized what he’d done, Kevin wasn’t sure but he instinctively darted his tongue out and licked at Nick’s mouth. He swallowed the moan that resulted and smiled against Nick’s mouth. They kissed for a few more minutes before finally pulling away. Nick was trembling against Kevin’s chest and he couldn’t help but hold him until it stopped.

"Thank you," Nick said softly. Kevin smiled and rested his forehead against Nick’s.

"I should thank you," Kevin admitted. "You always seem to make these parties more bearable for me." Kevin’s stomach flipped at the smile his comment produced. They were silent for a few moments before Kevin spoke again. "You know, I’m probably going to regret turning you down." He hadn’t meant to voice his thoughts, but smiled at the reaction he got from Nick. The blonde blushed and nervously ran his fingers through his blonde spikes.

"You think?"

Kevin licked his lips and nodded. "Totally. You know when you have something offered to you and it’s not the right time, but you know that it could be good." Nick nodded mutely. "That’s what this is. And I’m going to kick myself later."

Nick shrugged as he put his hand on Kevin’s arm. He was going to take any excuse he could to touch Kevin. "Just so you know, if you ever change your mind the offer still stands."

Kevin felt white heat pulse through his body and he fought to do the right thing. It would be so easy to just give in and submit to this beautiful boy, but he couldn’t. He had to focus on getting into college and out of Middletown. He could only nod and close his eyes. "I am definitely going to regret this." He was taken off guard when Nick leaned up and pressed their lips quickly together. When he opened his eyes at the end of the kiss, he saw Nick blushing profusely.

"Thanks again Kevin, this was the best Valentine’s Day ever."

Nick was in the house and the door had shut loudly before Kevin let himself breathe.

"Where is..." Nick asked Christina excitedly. He frowned when he saw the look on his friend’s face. "What’s wrong?"

"We’re leaving," she announced. Nick looked at his watch, surprised to see that it was after midnight.

"Oh shit, it’s late." He hadn’t anticipated her shaking her head and sighing. "That’s not why we’re leaving?"

"No, Justin’s upstairs with Lance. They’re both miserable and crying so we’re going to take them home."

Nick’s excitement about Kevin’s kiss was pushed to the back of his mind, his first concern was for his best friends. "I’m staying at Lance’s with them, so I should come too."

Josh nodded as he joined them. "Go upstairs and get them please, they won’t let us near the room."

"Is there going to be enough room? What about Aje..." At the mention of their friend Josh growled.

"Right now I could give a shit about AJ. He’s going home with Kyle. Now go get J and Lance."

Nick sprinted up the stairs and towards the room that Josh had informed him his best friends were in. He knocked, surprised when he heard no noise coming from inside. He thought he would hear them crying, but it didn’t sound like anyone was inside.

"Go away."


"It’s Nick. We’re going home, come on. Josh and Christina are downstairs waiting."

The door flung open and Justin came rushing through. He threw himself right into Nick’s arms, hugging his best friend tightly. Lance came out slower, although looking just as miserable. Nick had no idea what had gone on, but he knew for both of them to be as unhappy, something serious must have happened.

"You can tell me in the car, lets just go."

The three boys walked silently through the house. Nick ran into Kevin and Brian who were standing near the door, which was as far as Kevin got after Nick had gone into the house.

"Is everything okay?" Brian asked, concerned at the state the two boys were in. Nick told Justin and Lance that Josh and Christina were waiting in the car and he’d be right out. They nodded numbly, following Nick’s instructions.

"I have no idea," Nick admitted to the older teens. "I came inside and Josh said we’re leaving. Something happened and they’re both upset."

Kevin frowned. "See, Valentine’s day sucks. It fucks people up."

Nick shook his head, blushing at the memory of Kevin kissing him not ten minutes earlier. "I happen to like Valentine’s Day." He was pleased when he saw Kevin blush as well.

"Yeah well..’ Kevin started to say when Brian flashed him an amused look. Kevin growled at him and didn’t say anything.

"Well, thanks for the party. Tell Joey we had a great time.." Nick looked at the door and shrugged. "I did anyways. I’ll see you on Monday."

"Bye Nick," Brian called. Kevin nodded and Nick disappeared through the door. Kevin could feel Brian’s eyes on him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?" Kevin asked again. Brian simply smiled.

"He likes you." Kevin didn’t answer. Brian pushed his best friend lightly. "You like him."

"Lets go inside," Kevin growled. He hadn’t anticipated finding Chris and AJ sitting at Joey’s kitchen table, both boys looking miserable. He and Brian exchanged curious glances before joining them.

"So... Why does everyone look so miserable tonight?" Kevin said brightly. Chris narrowed his eyes and glared at Kevin.


"Why the fuck do you look so happy? Usually it’s you miserable and sulking."

Kevin’s grin took up most of his face. "I know, I think I like it like this better." His face was serious and he patted Chris’ arm. "Seriously, what’s going on?"

Chris almost didn’t answer, but before he could stop himself, he was explaining to the table the scene that had played out in the basement that night. He also told them about everything that had been happening since Brian’s party in January. "...so he told me that if I really wanted him to leave me alone, just to say it. To say it and mean it and he would."

AJ’s jaw dropped open. As much as Chris pretended that Justin’s affections bothered him, it was painfully obvious that they didn’t. Chris didn’t do anything he didn’t want to do, and if he’d let Justin persuade him to go that far, then Chris was enjoying it. "What did you do?"

Chris growled causing for AJ to retreat. "Fuck off."

"What?" Kevin said smacking Chris’ shoulder. "You didn’t..."

"Of course I did. I had to. We’re totally different people Kevin. You know this. He’s fourteen, he won’t be able to handle my life." Chris sighed as he thought about his family, about how hard things had always been for them and how sometimes he was surprised that they had as much as they did. Despite going to Lincoln High and being friends with the sons of the Richardsons, Littrells and Fatones, he wasn’t as well off as people assumed him to be. "Not to mention my family and the responsibilities that I have to them. If this record contract doesn’t come through, I have no idea what I’m going to do."

Chris had been hoping that his band would be discovered once they made a demo tape, which would get him a record contract and some money to maybe move his family from the too small house they were currently living in to something where they each would have their own bedroom, his mother included. It wasn’t something that a lot of people knew about him, and something they never would if he had his own way. Justin was still young, still naive and Chris didn’t want to be the one to disrupt his vision of the world.

"Shouldn’t you let him decide that? You didn’t give him a choice." AJ asked, voice hard.

Chris only shrugged. "It’s better this way."

"For who? You’re both miserable and as much as you pretend that you don’t care, you do. You care about him" AJ paused as Chris scoffed at his observation. "What? You do. You do care and that’s why you don’t want to hurt him, but you’re hurting him anyways. He’s got a good head on his shoulders, and he’s more than capable of making up his own mind. And if you think that he’s going to judge you by your family, by your living situation you’re more naive than he is."

"What do you care anyways McLean? You’ve got your own perfect little relationship with Bass..."

It was AJ that growled this time, causing for the whole table to freeze in surprise. "I don’t want to talk about Lance."

"Is that the one who left crying with Justin and Nick?" Kevin asked. He regretted his words instantly when the snarl on AJ’s face turned into a frown and he looked like he was going to cry. Again. "I guess so. I’m sorry."

AJ shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I ...fucked everything up tonight and now he hates me. I don’t blame him, but ..yeah, we’re having a bit of a fight."

"I’m telling you," Kevin said with a confident nod. "This day is horrible. Why on earth would someone create a day that revolves around love and romance. It’s too much pressure and people get so worked up about it, for what? If you love someone, every day should be Valentine’s Day. If you don’t show up on a random Monday with a card and chocolates it’s fine, but if you dare forget on that ONE day a year where you’re forced to, you’re in trouble for the next year."

AJ nodded miserably while Chris didn’t even bother that much of an effort. It was just Brian who was smiling at him. "You weren’t complaining about Valentine’s Day a few minutes ago."

"Fuck off," Kevin warned as Chris and AJ both looked at him curiously.

"Why, what happened?" Chris asked. He was relieved to be able to take his mind off of the way Justin’s face was still fresh in his mind, eyes full of hurt and lower lip trembling. Kevin blushed and Chris snickered. "Oooh, did you do something?"

Kevin shook his head. "No... he ....they did. They did."

"And?"

AJ wondered if Kevin was talking about Nick. He knew that Nick was hoping to be able to make his move that night and if Kevin was just about to say that ‘he’ made a move, that person could have very well been Nick. He waited silently for Kevin to answer Chris’ question.

"I just explained that it wasn’t right, that I wasn’t what they needed. We talked, it’s all good."

They wanted more information, but it was clear that Kevin was finished with the sharing portion of the night, at least on his end. They continued to talk until Britney entered the kitchen, her lips slightly swollen and eyes glassy. She was holding the rose that Billy had given her at the beginning of the night, clutched in her hand. "Aje?"

The whole table of boys turned to look at her and she blushed. She gave them all a quick wave before focusing on AJ.

"We’re gonna go now. Kyle and Billy are waiting on the porch."

AJ nodded. Home was a good idea, he needed some sleep and in the morning he’d think about the mistake he knew he’d made that night with Lance. "Okay, thanks B." AJ stood up and nodded at Kevin, Brian and Chris. "Tell Joey thanks for the invite. I’ll see you all later."

Chris stood up and put his hand on AJ’s arm, the move surprising both of them. "You know how you described Justin?" AJ nodded, unsure of where Chris was going with this. "Lance is exactly the same. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and he’s a smart kid. Whatever you’ve done tonight can be undone, no matter how bad you think it might be. That kid loves you more than I think you realize and you just need to talk about it."

AJ gave his old friend a weak smile. "Thanks Chris. We’ll see."

It wasn’t until they were in the car when Britney turned to AJ, a sympathetic smile on her face. "I just want you to know, whatever happened between you and Lance.."

"Brit," Kyle warned. He saw the look of pain cross AJ’s face at the mention of Lance’s name.

"No, let me finish." Britney argued. "Whatever happened, it doesn’t change anything. You’re still my friend, and I know you’re still Chrissy’s. We’re still here for you, so if you need to talk, you know where you can find me." She reached her hand back to where he was sitting behind Kyle who was driving and took a hold of AJ’s hand, squeezing it tightly. AJ felt tears prick his eyes and he smiled gratefully back at her.

"Thanks," he whispered. He knew that trying to say anything else would be pointless.

~*~*~*

They were all curled up in Lance’s basement, warm and cozy in their sleeping bags. Nick was dying to tell his friends about his night, but knew that it wasn’t the right time to do so. Justin had tearfully retold the story of his encounter with Chris, asking why the older boy didn’t like him. He couldn’t understand what it was that he’d done and wished that someone would explain why the only person he’d ever liked had rejected him so coldly.

Nick moved his sleeping bag so that it was closer to Justin’s and unzipped it, so that Justin could do the same. When they had, Nick pulled Justin close and let his best friend cry, something that he knew Justin would only do in the privacy of only their company. "J, it’s so clear how much he likes you," Nick said softly, smoothing Justin’s curls back.

Lance bit his lip, he so desperately needed comfort as well, but it wasn’t his turn yet. And he wasn’t comfortable asking for Nick to hold him like he was holding Justin, although he longed for it. "I know he’s going to kill me for telling you this," he started softly. "But he does like you. I mean, he’d be in the office, in a bad mood or really angry about something, and then when you would come by to visit me, suddenly he wasn’t as cranky anymore. He would smile when he thought no one was looking, and whenever you left he’d be in such a good mood, although he would pretend that he wasn’t."

Justin opened his eyes and looked tearfully at Lance. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but out of all of them, Lance was the closest to Chris. "Yeah?"

Lance nodded. "Yeah. I don’t know what is going on with Chris, but he’s so different with you than he is with everyone. I’ve never seen anyone except Kevin, Joey or Brian get as close to him as you have, and that has to mean something."

Justin took a deep breath and relaxed against Nick’s body. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted and just wanted to forget everything had happened. It was in that moment that he remembered how upset Lance had been, although he wouldn’t admit to what it was. "Lance?" Justin said softly.

"What?" Lance was curled up in a ball, focusing on Justin’s night so he could forget about how horrible his own had been.

"Come here."

Lance looked up and saw Nick nodding. He undid his sleeping bag and scrambled over to where Nick was spooned around Justin. He grabbed Justin’s pillow and laid his head down, sliding underneath Nick’s sleeping bag and against Justin’s chest. He briefly saw Justin smile, "there, all better."

Nick pressed his face in the back of Justin’s neck as he extended his arm to reach around to Lance. "So," he said softly. "What are you going to do?"

Justin took a deep breath. "I’m going to leave him alone. It’s what he wants." He wasn’t very happy about it, but he had promised that he would.

"I think that’s the best idea," Lance admitted timidly. He felt Justin freeze up and continued with his line of thought. "You’re always around, so he’s used to you being there, right? Well, if you stop coming around and he doesn’t see you as much, he’ll see that he was taking your presence for granted. He’ll see how much he misses you and will realize that he was wrong."


Justin felt his stomach flip a few times, hoping that Lance was right. "I told him he couldn’t change his mind though, that if he pushed me away now, he wasn’t going to have another chance."

Lance snickered causing Nick to laugh as well. "Yeah, right. Like you’d turn him away."

Justin couldn’t stop the smile that covered his lips. "I could try."

Nick shook his head. "You won’t."

They were silent for a few moments before Justin felt Lance trembling. "What happened tonight?" He whispered against Lance’s forehead. "Why won’t you tell me?"

Nick remained quiet, letting his two friends talk. He too was curious as to what happened to make Lance leave without AJ, refusing to even speak his name.

"He ..." Lance choked. "Dumped me."

"WHAT?" Justin said loudly, he startled both Lance and Nick when he bolted into an upright siting position.

The tears started again and Lance pressed his face into the pillow beneath his head. Justin laid back down immediately and started stroking Lance’s back comfortingly. He mumbled something into the pillow that neither Nick or Justin couldn’t understand.

"Maybe ...maybe you misunderstood him?" Nick offered. He had no idea what to say as that had been a bigger shock than his kiss with Kevin. Things were definitely on the other side of crazy that night.

"I didn’t, he said that I was too immature and ..." Lance paused to take a deep breath. "...that he didn’t want to be with me anymore."

"What is wrong with us," Justin said sadly. "What happened exactly?"

Although it took a while, between Lance’s crying and Nick and Justin’s reassurances that it was going to be okay, but he got the whole story out and by the end of it, they were all speechless. No one had seen Lance and AJ breaking up coming and thus had no idea how to react to it. It was then that Justin turned around so that he could face Nick. Lance instantly curled up against his back, needing the contact of someone who cared about him.

"You’ve been quiet tonight," Justin said softly. He knew something must have happened with Nick at the party but until now, had been too concerned about Chris to ask. "What happened with you?"

Nick shook his head. "I ...I don’t want to talk about it." The last thing Nick wanted was to share his good news when his two best friends were so miserable. It didn’t matter how badly he wanted to tell them, he wouldn’t add to their misery.

Justin could tell that something was going on behind Nick’s eyes, and because he needed something else to focus on, he wouldn’t let it go. They were all exhausted, it was after three in the morning, but Nick had sat by all night, listening to them cry. He’d been there every time Justin needed someone to talk to, as well as when Lance or AJ had been upset about something and couldn’t go to anyone else. Justin also knew that Nick was Christina’s shoulder to cry on quite often, but he couldn’t think of a time lately when anyone had specifically been there for Nick. It was always the other way around. That was why he wouldn’t let it go.

"Nicky, please. Something happened tonight and I want to hear about it."

Nick frowned as he looked into his best friend’s eyes. "I don’t ... It’s not fair that I had the best Valentine’s Day ever and you guys didn’t."

Almost instantly, Lance was sitting up, followed by Justin. They looked at each other before scrambling to sit with crossed legs, eyes wide and mouths formed into wide grins.


"You did?" Lance asked, nearing excitement. All thoughts of AJ fled his mind and he could only think about Nick and what he’d been holding in all night.

"Oh my god!" Justin nearly squealed. "What happened? It was Kevin wasn’t it?"

Nick sat up, blushing as he looked at his hands which were clasped in his hands.

"IT WAS!" Lance and Justin both said together as they each smacked one of Nick’s shoulders.

"All night you’ve had this awesome news to tell us and you’ve kept quiet," Justin glared at Nick with a grin on his face.

"I ...I didn’t think it was right to..."

"Whatever," Lance said as he pushed Nick playfully. "We’ve been waiting forever for this... Tell us all about it. What happened?"

The secret was too big for Nick not to tell, and since they looked so excited, Nick couldn’t help but feel the familiar rush that he’d felt earlier come back. "So I was looking for Kevin right, and found him outside on the porch. Well he was out there and I went to sit with him and we started talking..."

"AND?"

"AND ...Nick said with a giggle. "He mentioned something about not having a girlfriend." Nick then went into exact detail of everything that had been said and done during his conversation with Kevin. He remembered everything from the song that had been playing in the living room when he actually told Kevin he had a crush on him, to the song that was playing when Kevin cupped his face in his hands and kissed him so gently and softly that Nick knew he’d fallen in love. Justin and Lance sat, leaning forward hanging on every word that Nick spoke. Finally, Nick finished talking, flushed with excitement.

"That is so fucking cool," Justin breathed. He was in awe at the smile on Nick’s face, as well as how happy his best friend looked. He’d never been so happy for his friend. "Are you okay? I mean, he kissed you but at the same time..."

"He kind of turned you down," Lance finished. He stuck out his tongue which caused the three boys to giggle.

"Yeah, it kinda sucked that he was all ‘you need to find someone who you deserve’ and that crap because I was like, uh, hello, that’s you!!! I deserve you!! But at the same time, it’s good."

"Good?"

"Well, now I know. I mean, I've told him how I feel, and he didn’t say he didn’t like me, he just doesn’t think that now is right. He even said that, it was bad timing. So at least I know. Before it was killing me because I didn’t know how he would react or if he’d be interested, now I can either move on or not. But the mystery is gone."

Justin pulled Nick close and hugged him tight, followed by Lance who gathered them all in a giant hug.

"I’m so happy for you Nicky," Justin said as he kissed Nick’s temple. "I wish that you didn’t have to keep it to yourself all night though."

Nick shook his head. "No, you guys needed me. It was okay."

"But now we know. That is so cool Nick, I’m really happy for you too." Lance looked at the clock, surprised to see it was after four in the morning. "Holy cow, look how late it is."

Nick and Justin giggled as they realized the time. It was the latest they’d ever stayed up before. Every other time they’d tried to stay up all night, they were always asleep by midnight. Although neither felt like sleeping, they knew that they'd had a big night and when it caught up with them, they would most definitely crash.

In a decision not to zip their bags back up, they got up and laid Justin’s sleeping bag down on the floor like a blanket. They all laid back down together, pulling first Nick’s sleeping bag over them, then Lance’s. When they finally got comfortable, each felt their exhaustion sink in.

"Night Lance, night J."

Night Nicky, night Lance."

"Night Justin, night Nick."

They were all asleep the second that their eyelids shut.

End Chapter 31


Chapter 33 >