< Chapter 20

Chapter 21

The walk from the school to the bus stop was awkward and silent. AJ wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure what. Lance found himself having the same problems. They had gotten so good at hiding how they felt about each other that the prospect of it being out there and a possibility for something more was intimidating. Finally, after they’d both looked at each other and quickly looked away about four times Lance spoke.

"How was working on the set this morning?"

AJ’s face broke into a giant grin. "It was really cool. I mean, Stuart is pretty intense, but since they’re so far behind schedule I guess that is to be expected. But he pretty much left us alone after telling us what he wanted us to do and we did our own thing."

"What IS the play that they’re doing?" Lance asked, with a laugh. "All this talk about it and no one has said what it is."

‘The Wizard of Oz," AJ replied. "There are SO many different sets to do. You wouldn’t believe it!"

Lance scrunched up his nose and stifled a giggle. "Shouldn’t there be like ...three or four? The farm, munchkin land, the forest and Oz?"

The bus came and they climbed on, paying their fare and heading towards the very back to two empty seats. When they sat down, AJ playfully punched Lance’s shoulder. "No dummy, there’s also the corn field where she finds the scarecrow, the tin man.."

"Which is the forest..."

AJ glared at Lance. "The witches’ castle when Dorothy is kidnapped,"

Lance was about to say something but stopped at the expression on AJ’s face. Instead, he snickered.

"The poppy field ..."

"I know," Lance said. "I’m just teasing. I just think it’s awesome that Joey had come to seek you two out. I’ll probably go just to see the background."

AJ nodded. "Yeah, it’s so therapeutic though, painting. I love it and now I’ll get to paint, but on a greater scale. All I have to do right now, is finish the piece I'm working on and hand that in for my final assignment in class. Then the marks for the rest of the semester ...all like, four weeks of it ...will be based on the play." AJ thought about the piece that he was going to hand in and felt his stomach rise to his throat. It was the one of Lance’s eyes, the piece that had forced him to confess his feelings about Lance to Nick that afternoon. He had asked for an extension on the assignment, citing that he needed more time to finish it. In reality, it had been done for quite some time, he just hadn’t had the nerve to confess to Lance his feelings, or prepare him to have this painting of his eyes displayed in the Sophomore Cabinet.

That reminded him of why they were on their way to McDonalds for dinner to talk and the nerves he’d so valiantly pushed to the back of his subconscious returned full force, causing him to fidget uncomfortably. His gaze met Lance’s and he knew that the younger boy was thinking the same thing. Before he could stop himself, AJ slid his hand over to Lance’s lap and picked up his hand. He discreetly threaded their fingers together, all the while his heart was pounding fiercely in his chest.

Lance’s breath got caught in his lungs and he gasped softly at the feel of AJ’s hand against his. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the way his pale, white skin looked against AJ’s darker olive skin. The sight was mesmerizing, which was nothing compared to the electric jolt that the feel of their skin touching caused.

"Wow," Lance exclaimed softly. His voice was a near whisper. AJ’s hand was trembling and Lance felt him loosen his grip, which was most likely a response to his sudden tensing up. Rather than let AJ break the connection, he tightened his grip on AJ’s hand. Their eyes met and with a silent plea, he asked AJ not to move. Unfortunately, they were coming up to the stop where they had to get off and AJ reached over to pull the bell. The physical connection between them had been broken and Lance felt the loss.

"It’s our stop," AJ said regretfully, a frown on his face.

Lance’s lips curled into a smile. "There’ll be more time later", he whispered as he pushed AJ up out of their seat. He saw the way the little goose bumps appeared on AJ’s skin and had never felt better in his life. It took all of his will not to lean in and lick at the rough skin. An overwhelming desire to taste AJ consumed him and Lance thought about anything he could to take his mind off of it. He’d gotten through half of the multiplication table when he felt confident enough to look at AJ again without threat of pouncing on him.

"Lets eat and then go to the park, there’s one by my house that’s usually deserted after dark," AJ suggested as they walked the few blocks to McDonalds.

Lance nodded. They were walking closer than usual, so that their shoulders would brush every so often. It was the closest they could get without coming right out and holding hands, which neither was all too ready for just yet. "Okay."

"Will your mom be able to pick you up? My mom would drive you, but she’s working late tonight."


The thought of AJ’s mom working late and no one being at his house made the butterflies in his stomach go berserk. He pictured what would happen if they went back to AJ’s house and had it all to themselves. That thought both excited and scared him equally. With the decision to put it out of his mind, Lance concentrated on the menu and what he was going to order.

As it was a Friday night, the restaurant was busy. The loud and boisterous atmosphere allowed for both boys to momentarily forget that they were so nervous and as they ate, they laughed and joked around. When they’d both had their extra value meals, shared a second and gotten ice cream sundaes and apple pies for desert, they finally left, both feeling full and content.

"I haven’t eaten at McDonalds in so long," Lance admitted with a soft burp. He looked at AJ who burst into laughter, causing for him to do the same.

"Really? God, I eat here as often as possible."

"Mom doesn’t usually let me eat a lot of fast food." Lance looked at AJ with an evil gleam in his eye. "So if she asked, we went to the Shack and I had a salad."

"I don’t even know if the Shake Shack has salads," AJ said, laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Lance’s reaction was to give AJ a playful push and roll his eyes. "They do have more than just fries, onion rings and bacon cheeseburgers you know!" AJ gave him an incredulous look and Lance nodded. "I’m serious. That first night when we went after the football game, I actually looked at everything on the menu. I was going to have a salad because that’s what my mama would have made me get, but everyone else was getting burgers and fries..."

AJ’s smile turned into a frown and nearly instantly his mood became serious. "You didn’t have to get that just because we were, you know? We wouldn’t have cared if you had a salad."

Now Lance was frowning at AJ’s displeasure. He had misunderstood. "No, I wasn’t doing it for you guys to like me, I was doing it because I hate only eating salad and healthy stuff. I’m fourteen, I like fries and hamburgers and milkshakes. I never get to eat them except for when I'm with you guys."

AJ stopped walking and turned to face Lance. He put his hands on Lance’s shoulders and forced him to look at him. "Are you sure? I don’t want you to think you have to be something you’re..."

At first, Lance HAD thought that they would make fun of him if he’d have ordered a salad while they were all ordering burgers and fries, but when Justin had ordered the float, everyone had teased him and he shrugged it off. That instant, right there, showed Lance that despite their teasing, they didn’t care. He didn’t care and so neither would Lance. If he ordered a salad, they might have said something funny about it, but it wouldn’t really have mattered to them. He had never felt as comfortable with himself as he did with AJ, Nick, Justin and Josh, and putting that into consideration, he’d realized that he really did want a hamburger. So he’d ordered one. Lance told all of this to AJ whose frown slowly returned to the smile it had been earlier.

"Okay, as long as you’re sure."

Lance felt daring and picked up AJ’s hand which was picking at his tee shirt. Lance threaded their fingers together briefly and squeezed. "I’m totally sure." He watched as AJ’s face turned a crimson red, knowing that his own was the exact same colour.

Just as AJ had predicted, the park near his house was deserted, giving them the privacy they so desperately needed. AJ headed straight for the swings and sat down, motioning for Lance to sit in the second one. There was an awkward silence until AJ started the conversation. "So, I’m really glad you weren’t grossed out by my message this morning."

Lance looked down at the dark sand below his feet and felt his stomach fluttering and his pulse racing. He could feel AJ’s eyes on him so he looked up, wanting to see the expression on his face as they talked. "I wasn’t. At all. I was surprised."

"Good surprised?"

"Totally good surprised. Speechless even. I never thought you would..." Lance stopped and nervously scratched at something on his leg.

"Never thought I would what?" AJ asked. He was curious as to where Lance was going with that sentence.

"Never thought you would like me too," Lance said in a soft, embarrassed voice.

"You like me?" AJ’s eyes were big and full of hope. Lance found himself riveted to them.

"Since ..." He let out a nervous laugh which escalated to full blown laughter. He continued laughing until finally there were tears in his eyes. AJ couldn’t help but laugh as well as the laughter was infectious.


"What’s so funny?" AJ couldn’t help but ask.

"Well, you like me and I like you, but we’re so nervous. Embarrassed. I’m totally freaking out here, but I shouldn’t be right? Because it’s not like I don’t know how you feel. And I don’t know what to say, but I should just say what I've wanted to for weeks. It’s so stupid. I’m being stupid."

AJ laughed as he nodded in agreement. "Not stupid, but just ....yeah, I know what you mean. Why are we freaking out?"

"I don’t know." Was what Lance said, except he did know. He was freaking out because he was admitting that he liked a boy, which was definitely more scary than admitting that he liked a girl because society in general thought liking girls was normal, but boys was not. Lance was, in effect, admitting that he wasn’t normal, and he knew that things would only be getting worse from here, because not only did he have to tell AJ, but he had to tell his parents, and then eventually, the rest of the world. And while he had faith that his parents would, after time, be okay with it and supportive, the majority of the world might not, and there was his biggest fear. Lance sighed and closed his eyes. At fourteen, this was most definitely the heaviest issue he’d ever had to deal with. He’d thought that moving across the country and starting a new school was hard, but it was nothing compared to realizing that you were different, and dealing with the outcome of that decision to act on it.

He thought about all of this, had been thinking about it actually for over a month since he’d realized what his feelings for AJ were. And every single time he worried about what people would say, how they would react and what they would do to him, it frightened him. Terrified him. Until he remembered what he was doing it all for, who he was doing it all for. AJ’s face would appear in front of his mind’s eye and he would feel a sense of calm fill him. He would remember that it wasn’t just him that would be going through it, but AJ too and it was in that moment that he realized that it didn’t matter what happened, as long as AJ was there with him it would be okay. AJ would never let anything bad happen to him, just like he would never let anything bad happen to AJ. With that thought, all of his fears would disappeared, had disappeared and he was left with what was the most important fact of all, he liked AJ, AJ liked him and they were in it together.

AJ reached over to hold his hand. That gesture gave him both comfort and strength and Lance took a few deep breaths.

"That day that Nick and Justin invited me to the quad for lunch. I saw you and ...everything was different for me."

"Yeah?" AJ understood, it had been the same for him.

"I like you, really like you AJ. I have since that day, and I don’t know what it means, I don’t know what to do because I've never felt this way about anyone, not even a girl, but ....I know that when I’m around you, or even when I'm thinking about you, my stomach gets all fluttery and excited. You make me nervous, but in such a good way." Lance’s voice had dropped a few decibels and he was holding AJ’s hand tightly.

AJ felt it was his turn to finally say something.

"I feel the same way Lance. You came in that day and I couldn’t stop looking at you. At first I thought it was because you were new, and you look so fragile and delicate."

Lance blushed at the way AJ described him. He hated that he looked so girlie and feminine. He’d always gotten teased at his old school about it, but the way AJ was talking about him, it didn’t seem to bother him so much.

"You made me feel something, and I had no idea what it was. You are so pretty.."

"I’m not pretty.. I don’t want to be pretty."

"You are, you’re beautiful Lance. But it’s not a bad thing," AJ didn’t want Lance to get the wrong idea. He hadn’t been trying to offend him with that description, but there was no other way for him to explain it. "Your eyes are so ..." AJ took a deep breath and shook his head. He would have to show Lance the painting, describing it wouldn’t do it justice. "Well, when we get to my house, remind me to show you my latest assignment."

Lance cocked his head to the side. "What?"


"Just remind me." They both nodded and AJ pulled Lance closer by their clasped hands. "I just, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and looking at you, and then one day I realized what it was. It was you, you were making me all nervous and excited and happy. And then it made me sad because ...you’re a guy and I wasn’t really sure if you .."

"I wasn’t sure either," Lance admitted. "This is the first time..."

"Me too."

Lance’s eyes opened wide and he had a look of shock on his face. "You’ve never ...with a boy?"

"I’ve never," AJ said in a strangled voice, "...with a girl either."

They both blushed.

"Me either," Lance said quickly. "With a girl."

"Anything?"

Lance shook his head. "Anything."

Although neither would admit it, they were both glad that the other was as inexperienced as they were. It put them on an equal playing ground that provided heightened comfort levels.

"So, we both like each other,’ AJ reiterated.

Lance nodded. "A lot!"

"A very lot!"

They both broke into giggles. It was as if a weight had been taken off of both of their shoulders.

"What next?" Lance asked. "I ..."

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Just saying the word sent chills up AJ’s spine. His whole body was electrified and he held his breath as he waited for Lance to answer.

Lance blushed and nodded eagerly. He would think about telling his mama and daddy, later, when the excitement wore off. For right now, he wanted to just think about AJ and how they were holding hands and that he had a boyfriend. An unbelievably cute and sexy older boyfriend. Granted, AJ was only a year older than he was, but still, he had this hot boyfriend who was awesomely sweet and talented and the most fun ever. Lance had died and gone to heaven, he was sure of it. "Yes."

AJ jumped up and pulled Lance with him. He pulled him close and hugged him tightly, wanting to let Lance know how happy he was. The thought to lean in and kiss Lance passed through his mind, but they were still outside, and he wasn’t sure if Lance was ready for that yet. Actually, he wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet, so he didn’t think too long about it. Just the fact that he was holding onto Lance, knowing that he was his boyfriend was enough for him.

"You wanna go to my house? Mom’s not home and we can totally play video games and eat junk food until you have to go home."

Lance nodded and let AJ pull him in the direction of his house. It wasn’t until they were alone in the house, video games all set up and a bowl of chips and two cans of pop in front of them that Lance brought up the concerns he had.

"Uhhh... Aje?"

"Hmmm," AJ said distractedly.

"Did you want to kiss me? In the park?"

AJ’s heart started racing and he froze instantly. "Pardon?"

"In the park, if I were a girl and you asked me if I wanted to be your girlfriend, would you have kissed me? Did you want to kiss me?"

AJ slowly turned around so that he was looking at Lance. He could see the confusion and uncertainty on the younger teen’s face and sat down with a hard thud. He’d been changing the channel the old fashioned way since he couldn’t find the remote, but all thoughts of everything except Lance and kissing flew out of his mind. "I ...I don’t know."

"Because ..." Lance was embarrassed, but he needed to say what was on his mind. He trusted AJ enough not to make fun of him for what he was feeling, and because of that, he continued. "I don’t know if I’m going to be ready to ...you know ..make out." Just saying the words right now were making him nervous.

AJ gave a half shrug. "I don’t know. I ....I thought about kissing you but then I wasn’t sure if you were ready for it, but I realized I don’t know if I'm ready for it. I don’t want you to be my boyfriend just so we can kiss and make out."

"I didn’t think you did," Lance knew that AJ wasn’t that type of person. "I just don’t want to lead you on."

"Why don’t we just see how things go, take them as they come. Right? If you want to kiss me, let me know and ..." AJ blushed, "... I probably won’t have a problem with it."

Lance blushed at the thought of being forward enough to kiss AJ. He’d always pictured it being the other way around. The image of him pulling AJ close and just kissing him empowered him like nothing he’d ever known before. Lance felt butterflies in his stomach and a sense of excitement filled him. "Okay. You too!"

"But you just said..."

"I didn’t say I don’t want to kiss you, I do so bad. I just don’t know if I'm ready for it right now. And I just wanted you to know that I might not be ready for anything more serious than kissing for a while." Thoughts of making out with AJ filled Lance’s mind and he felt a now familiar stirring in his groin. He had images of AJ hovering over him, holding him down and kissing him, touching him, rubbing against him and he let out a soft whimper.

AJ could see Lance’s whole body blush and he quickly looked down at the crotch of his jeans, surprised to see that there was a faint hardness visible. That caused for his own dick to get hard and he discreetly rubbed himself to help alleviate the pressure. He didn’t want to freak Lance out by telling him that sometimes, when he was in bed at night, he would think about Lance and them kissing and rolling around in his bed and he would get hard. A few times he’d woken up in the morning and found he’d messed his pajama bottoms, all because of Lance being in his dreams.

He wasn’t necessarily ready to deal with what that meant and how to go about fixing it, but he couldn’t help but grinning at how good he’d feel on those mornings and how just seeing Lance that next day at school brought back the dream and sent shocks of pleasure through his body.

Once the awkward moment passed, Lance leaned over and pressed his lips to AJ’s cheek quickly. It wasn’t the type of kiss he knew that they both had been thinking about, but it was the only way right then that he could convey to his boyfriend how he was feeling. Surprisingly, AJ smiled and leaned over to do the same, only he let his lips linger for a few extra seconds. "I’m glad that you’re my boyfriend," AJ whispered into Lance’s ear.

Lance turned his head so that their faces were directly in front of one another. Their lips were barely touching and they could feel each others’ erratic breathing against their mouths. The air around them was electric and both were watching each other through lidded gazes. "Me too," Lance admitted. As he spoke, his lips brushed against AJ’s and he couldn’t help but smile at the delicious tingles that danced over his skin.

AJ found himself staring deep into Lance’s eyes, which triggered something in his mind. "Oh shit.." He muttered as he pulled away. "I almost forgot. You were supposed to remind me."

Lance only looked at AJ in confusion.

"My painting," AJ reminded him as he stood up. He pulled Lance up to his feet. "I had to show you my assignment. I haven’t been able to hand it in, because Mrs. Edwards is going to display it in the Sophomore Cabinet."

"And?" Lance giggled as AJ pulled him through the house. They went up the stairs to AJ’s bedroom and Lance had to hold his excitement in. He hadn’t been up in AJ’s bedroom yet and just walking in made his stomach churn in excitement. As AJ went into his closet to pull out his art supplies, Lance took an opportunity to look around.

The room was messy, as if a tornado had hit it and Lance wished he could have his room like this. His mother would have had a heart attack if she had have walked into his room and it looked like this. Not that he would have been able to handle living in such disarray all the time, it would probably drive him crazy not being able to find anything, especially the floor, but just knowing that he COULD have it this messy was exciting.

There were pictures all over AJ’s mirror of girls and boys that Lance didn’t know. He figured that they were friends of AJ’s growing up, and before he could ask about them, AJ was standing next to him, something behind his back.

"Now, I don’t want to freak you out."

AJ starting with that sentence only caused for Lance to do exactly that. "Now wait a second," Lance said. "You couldn’t hand it in until you showed me?" He had no idea what that meant.

AJ nodded. "Yeah. It’s .... It’s embarrassing. She told us to paint whatever we saw when we closed our eyes. It took me forever to be able to start it because it ...it just really made me realize how I feel." AJ took a deep breath before continuing. "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Because I said so. Do it." When Lance only looked at him skeptically, he pouted. "Please? For me?"

Finally Lance relented. He sighed as he let his eyelids flutter shut. "Tell me when to open them."

AJ nodded. He put the painting on the easel he had in the corner of his room and counted to ten.

"What are you doing?" Lance asked.

"Trying not to freak out," AJ admitted honestly. "The only person who has seen this is Nick, and ..."

Now Lance was really curious about the painting. He waited a few more seconds until AJ gave him the green light. "Okay, you can open them now. But ....slowly. Please. And ...keep an open mind."

Lance opened his eyes and blinked a few times to let the room come into focus. He’d been looking too far to the right and his eyes fell upon AJ who was biting his thumb nail nervously. AJ gave a smile and pointed to the corner where the easel was. It was then that Lance saw what AJ had put on display for him. He couldn’t help but gasp of shock that escaped his lips.

"Holy shit!" Lance’s knees wobbled as he was looking into his own eyes, except magnified. "You...." As much as the painting should have freaked him out, it didn’t. He didn’t know what he was feeling.

"That’s ..."

"You. Your eyes. It was so weird, because she said to close our eyes and paint what we saw. I closed them and saw your eyes. So I closed them again ....saw your eyes again. It’s all I could concentrate on, so finally I started mixing paints and it took me forever but I got the shade right. And ..." AJ blushed and looked down at his feet. I had to show you before she displayed it. Nick could tell exactly what it was the second he looked at it."

Lance had never been more flattered in his life, and looking at how anxious AJ was for his reaction only added to that feeling. "It’s beautiful."

AJ’s eyes widened and his heart skipped a few beats. "Really? You think so?" He had anticipated every reaction possible, from anger to disgust to elation, but he hadn’t been sure what Lance would react with. AJ was happy with the grin on Lance’s face.

"I do," Lance said as he approached AJ and hugged him tightly. It was nice to be able to do that, touch him whenever he wanted to. When AJ hugged him back, just as tightly Lance let himself get lost in the feeling of being in AJ’s arms. "Thank you," he whispered softly against AJ’s neck.

"You’re welcome," AJ replied just as softly. He pulled away just enough so that he could rest his forehead against Lance’s. Their eyes were locked and there was a definite sexual tension between them. He made a quick decision and softly placed a butterfly kiss against the corner of Lance’s mouth, teasing the younger boy. He heard Lance whimper, the noise caused him to giggle.

"You’re so mean," Lance breathed. His pulse was racing and his heart was beating wildly. To retaliate, he simply darted his tongue out and licked at the corner of AJ’s mouth before pulling away entirely and clearing his throat. It was AJ who whimpered that time.

"I’m mean?" AJ whined. Lance nodded.

"Yep. Now lets go downstairs. Mama said she’ll be here at ten and I want to beat you a few times before I have to go home."

"You beat me?" AJ joked as he clasped his hand with Lance’s and led him down the stairs. "If I recall, you lost the last time we played."

"I was the guest, it is your house. Of course I didn’t want to embarrass you, but now that you’re my boyfriend, I have no problem with it."

Before, AJ might have argued, but he was so distracted by the casual way with which Lance called him his boyfriend, as if he’d been saying it forever, that he simply gave a goofy grin and nodded his head. He’d probably have agreed to anything at that moment as long as Lance didn’t stop looking at him the way he was.

End Chapter 21


Chapter 22 >