< Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Nick got to art early that day so he could talk to Mrs. Edwards before class started. He found out that she had already spoken to AJ and that he had agreed to work on the set design for the play. Mrs. Edwards assured Nick that Joey hadn’t been mistaken with the information he had given him and that everything was on the level. If Nick wanted, he could work on the set instead of going to class for the rest of the semester, and it would count as a large portion of his final mark as well as his acceptance to continuing his art education.

"So, you coming with?" AJ asked as Nick went to his seat to grab his things. AJ had his bag over his shoulder and was waiting patiently.

"Of course." Nick let Mrs. Edwards know he was leaving and the two of them headed through the school towards the area where all set construction and design was taking place. He’d changed into his art clothes after gym and was ready to get started on whatever it was they needed to do.

They listened to what was expected of them and what Stuart, the new person in charge, was looking to accomplish. It was going to take a lot of hard work and effort, but with the amount of people they had working on it, it shouldn’t be as bad as they feared. Especially since it was so late in the year and they were pretty much starting from scratch.

The paint fumes were starting to get to him, and Nick needed to take a break. "Aje, I’m gonna go get some fresh air."

"I’ll come with," AJ motioned towards Stuart to let him know they were going to slip outside for some air. They were given the okay and they grabbed their sweaters to fight off the slight chill in the air. When they had been outside for about five minutes, Nick finally spoke.

"So ...nice message."

AJ’s face turned pink and he gave a jerky shrug. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Lance’s message?" Nick thought it was cute how AJ, who always tried to be so cool and under control looked embarrassed. "It was cute."

"It wasn’t dumb?" AJ asked. He hadn’t been sure if he should do it, and then finally after thinking about it for a few days figured he had nothing to lose by just putting it out there. Lance had to know he liked him, and if he didn’t, AJ was tired of not being sure. So he had done it, and every day since had wanted to talk to Nick about it. But every time he’d started to, he changed the subject and tried not to think about it.

"It was awesome, he was so red when he read it."

"Did he hate it?" It wasn’t fair for AJ to ask Nick, but it was easier than asking Lance. Unfortunately, Nick wasn’t going to reveal anything.

"Not my place to say. But I think you two should talk."

"What are you doing today at lunch?"

Nick told AJ about how he’d received a note in homeroom the day before requesting his presence at a meeting with his guidance councilor regarding his continual absences from last period. "They haven’t told my parents, but if I get any more without a note, they’re going to call them."

"Bummer," AJ snickered. They had to head back inside as there wasn’t that much time left of third period and he wanted to get the area he’d been working on done before lunch. He paused for a moment before remembering what they’d been talking about before and felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach. "So yeah, he was happy when he read my note?"

Nick knew what AJ was trying to do and so he only mock glared at him as he shook his finger at him. "I’m not falling for that Alexander! Talk to him. Okay?"

AJ knew he would have to. He hadn’t put the message in the paper for Lance to ignore it and him to not bring it up. Lunch was less than twenty minutes away, he had to figure out what he wanted to say and how he was going to go about doing that by then. And of course, as it always does when you’re nervous about something, time passed by so fast that in the blink of an eye, the lunch bell was ringing and AJ knew he had to face the music.

~*~*~*

Lance timidly stepped into the Soph Quad, his eyes immediately falling upon AJ who looked as nervous as he felt. He took a few deep breaths, closed his eyes and prayed on anything and everything he could that he would be able to make it through that lunch without making AJ question whether or not he’d made a bright decision in liking him. Before he could obsess too much about it, AJ looked up and their eyes met. The time had finally come for them to confess everything they’d been hiding for the past month.

"Hey," AJ said softly as Lance slid into the picnic table.

"Hey." Lance saw AJ smile nervously and that action caused for him to feel a surge of courage. "I ..."

"Yes?" AJ asked hopefully. If Lance would start the conversation, he could simply follow and play things by ear.

"I just wanted to let you know that after math, science is my favourite subject."

They were both silent for a moment before bursting into laughter. The tense mood had been instantly broken and both boys felt immediately at ease, both with the situation at hand and each other. In the past month, Lance had begun to feel at ease with AJ, to the point where he didn’t worry any longer about saying something stupid or immature in front of the other boy. He’d been witness to many of AJ’s ‘dumb’ phases, as he, Justin and Nick had endured enough of them in the past month, so the usual sense of anxiety and nervousness that he’d felt around AJ had long since gone. That was why he could comfortably laugh at himself, pleased that he’d made AJ laugh as well.

"Yeah?" AJ asked when they’d gotten their giggles under control. As light as the mood was now, it didn’t take away from the seriousness of the situation. He didn’t know if Lance liked all boys in general, or just him. Or if he was just an experiment to see whether or not he liked boys or girls. And truthfully, he wasn’t sure that he could determine the same for himself. It was most definitely going to be a period of confusion and experimentation for both of them. "You’re not just saying that ...because if you don’t feel.."

Lance had never been so aware of the amount of people sitting outside with them as he was that day. It felt like there were twice as many kids eating lunch, and he couldn’t help but worry that people were listening to their conversation. "I do." He said, cutting AJ off. "I so do ...but.."

AJ’s stomach fell at the ‘but’ that came next. He frowned and started picking at his nails nervously. This was the part where Lance was going to let him down saying that he was flattered, but not interested. He was thinking so hard about how Lance didn’t like him back that he nearly missed what was being said.

"...tonight. Where there’s less people around and we can talk more."

"Huh?" AJ said quickly. The blood was rushing in his ears and his heart was racing.

"I said," Lance repeated. "Maybe we should talk about this more tonight, when there aren’t as many people around. I ..." He looked over his shoulder and then back at AJ. "I don’t want to have this conversation here."

Hope once again sparked in AJ’s chest and he grinned. Later he could do. But for now he just needed to know the basics. "Uhhh, okay. Yeah. Tonight is good. But can you just ...answer me something?"

Lance nodded. He swallowed thickly before sipping on his juice to soothe his dry mouth.

"Were you totally grossed out?" The way Lance’s eyes bugged out caused for AJ to giggle nervously. "I mean.."

Lance knew what he meant and he smiled before quickly covering AJ’s hand with his own. He squeezed their fingers together before pulling his hand back, their touch was electric and both boys felt the sparks. "I wasn’t grossed out at all. Happy, not grossed out."

If it wouldn’t have looked at all strange, AJ would have jumped up and danced on the table to show everyone how excited he was at Lance’s admission. Instead, he nodded and let the giant grin take over his face.

"Good. I’m glad."

They met at Lance’s locker after school, and much to their dismay, Nick, Christina, Britney and Josh were there to witness the whole scene.

"Hey," AJ said shyly as he approached. He nodded at the others who all gave him sickly sweet grins.

"Hey Aje." Lance greeted him back, just as shy.

They looked at each other for a few minutes until they realized that everyone was still watching them in anticipation. AJ rolled his eyes and gave them the finger.

"God, don’t you all have your own lives to live?"

Britney sighed dramatically. "Sadly, no. Ya’ll are the closest to a life that I’ve had in a long time, so I’m just gonna live through you." Christina and Josh nodded their heads in agreement.

"Seriously."

"Okay, well we're going to go and be alone now. What are you guys doing?" Lance said as he tried to act normally. He ignored the winks that Nick was flashing him and focused instead on the girls. When they were doing the same he gave up and focused on something down the hall, anything to avoid looking at everyone which was only making him more nervous.

The gang looked at one another, as if to see if anyone had plans. No one did. "Well, I was thinking about going to get some ice cream at the Shack. You guys wanna come?" Josh looked between Nick and the two girls. It was amazing to see the difference in the two girls from the last time he’d really paid attention to them. He knew through AJ that they were the ones who had been hanging all over Nick and Justin everywhere they went at the start of the year, but from what he’d seen that night at the Shake Shack and what he was seeing right now were four totally different girls. It appeared that time had mellowed the girls out and although Britney was still dressing provocatively, it wasn’t as trashy as it had been. And Christina, she was a completely different person, someone that had Josh’s undivided attention, which lately had been pretty difficult to do.

He had been seeing a friend of Kyle and Billy’s from St. Peter’s for a few months, but lately that seemed to have fizzled off and from what he’d heard, she was chasing one of the boys that played football for them. He’d run into her on a date with him one night when he’d been out with his friends, and she admitted in front of a large portion of the St. Peter’s Junior class, that she thought they were heading in different directions and she didn’t want to see him any more. That had been weeks ago and he hadn’t even contemplated whether or not he was going to start dating again. But now, looking at this freshman girl who had her hair held up by, what looked like two of Nick’s tiny paintbrushes, and was wearing a soft pink turtleneck and a pair of faded blue jeans, he was hoping that she didn’t have plans and they’d all want to go for ice cream. Nick and Britney both responded positively, and Josh gave a distracted smile, but his gaze was riveted on Christina and the fact that she was
 nodding her head.

"Yeah, I'd love some ice cream." Christina’s voice was soft and breathy. She was staring deep into Josh’s eyes and for the first time since the first day of school when she’d seen the most adorable blonde standing at her locker and felt her stomach flip excitedly, she forgot all about Nick Carter. Joshua Chasez was looking at her as if she were the only thing in the entire hallway and it made her feel special. Made her feel something that Nick had never made her feel, which she figured had to do with the fact that Josh was definitely noticing her, and not just as some girl. He was noticing her as A girl, and that was more than she’d ever gotten from Nick.

Lance and AJ were hooking up, based on the intense looks that Josh and Christina were giving each other, they were bound to hook up and as happy as Nick was for his friends, he was just as frustrated. Kevin still barely knew he was alive, he still hadn’t gotten the nerve to say anything to him about his dumb crush and still, even after his message in the paper, Justin still wasn’t talking to him. Nick was filled with hope as he, Josh and the girls were heading towards the parking lot and they saw Justin hanging around the front of the school, probably waiting for his mom to pick him up.

"Hey, J!" Josh waved. Justin looked up and waved as he saw his friend calling to him. Seeing him with Britney, Christina and Nick caused for his stomach to churn, but Justin put it out of his mind.

"Josh, what’s up?"

"Not much, going to the Shack for ice cream, wanna come?"

Justin contemplated it. He knew that his mom was going to be there in just a few minutes and he could tell her that he was going with his friends for ice cream. He hadn’t been out all week except for basketball practice and he was having difficulty trying to convince her that nothing was wrong and he and Nick were just too busy to get together. They hadn’t ever gone this long without being at each others’ houses, and his mother was getting suspicious. Of course, not expecting their fight to have lasted this long, Justin hadn’t said anything about it, but now he was wondering if in time she would just stop asking, since he’d stopped talking about him. One look into Nick’s eyes gave Justin everything he needed to make up his mind. He could see the hope that Justin would come with them, but also something else. Justin knew Nick was expecting answers, answers he didn’t necessarily feel like giving, so rather than do what he really wanted to do and accepting, he shrugged.

"Come on J, it’ll be fun." It was out before Nick even realized it had been him that said it. Much to his horror, Justin’s face turned into a frown.

"I don’t think so." His mother pulled in at that exact moment and Justin jumped into her car so fast she barely had time to come to a full stop. She looked at him in surprise but he simply crossed his arms over his chest. "Lets go," he said sharply.

"If you wanted to go out with your friends," Lynn said as she nodded towards the four teens that were watching them in shock. Justin only shook his head.

"No, I have too much homework. Lets go."

Nick refused to look at anyone as Justin’s car sped out of sight. Britney tried to comfort him by wrapping her arm around his waist but he pulled away. "Just ...don’t!"

"Sorry."

"Don’t be sorry. Just don’t."

"Okay."

Josh and Christina exchanged what started out to be sympathetic looks, but soon turned into an excuse for the two of them to stare at each other.

"We still going for ice cream, or are you two gonna stare at each other all night?" Nick asked impatiently.

Josh turned to look at Nick, a serious expression on his face. "Don’t take this out on us." When he saw the hurt look in Nick’s eyes his tone softened. "I can’t even imagine what’s going on with you two, but don’t let it get you down Nick. It’ll all work out."

Nick scoffed and continued walking to Josh’s car. "I wouldn’t bet on it."

~*~*~*~

Josh had dropped Nick and Britney off first. He’d made some excuse that Christina lived closest to him and so he would drop her off last, but Nick knew exactly where he lived and knew it was a lie. Josh had silently pleaded with him not to say anything and with a mischievous grin, he knew that he was going to owe the blonde for covering for him. As they pulled out of Britney’s driveway, Christina gave Josh directions to her house, not exactly providing him with the quickest route.

"I thought you lived on Riverside?" Josh said with a coy grin.

"I do, but this is the way I usually go." When Josh smirked at her she smiled innocently. "You didn’t ask for the quickest way, you just asked how to get there."

"You’re sneaky," Josh teased as he slowed down his car. There weren’t a lot of cars on the road, so he didn’t have to worry that he was only going the speed limit.

"Kind of like you claiming that I live the closest so you’d take me home last?" The look of shock and embarrassment on Josh’s face caused for Christina to burst into laughter and she smacked his arm playfully.

"Did Nick tell you?"

Christina shook her head. "Nope, you just did. I saw him give you a look, and then you gave him a look and I figured that you’d been lying."

"God, I'm so not smooth." Josh groaned. They continued to talk until they parked in front of Christina’s house, neither moving to get out of the car. "You’re so different. So not how I thought you were."

Christina blushed at Josh’s veiled compliment. She tugged nervously at loose strands of hair that had fallen out of her makeshift bun. "I get that a lot. I was really ...pathetic at the start of the year."

"Not pathetic, just confused I think. I really like this you much better." Josh leaned in so that he was closer to Christina. He did it slowly so as not to startle her, but he could feel the mood in the car tense slightly.

"Thanks."

Josh softly ran his finger up and down Christina’s arm, feeling the softness of her sweater. He loved how she was looking at him through her beautiful blue eyes, open wide. It made her look sweet and innocent and he felt his heart race. Her lips were parted just slightly and he could see how nervous she was. "You’re really cute," Josh near whispered.

"So are you." Christina didn’t know what to think. Josh was looking at her with an intensity that she’d never had directed towards her. The look he had given her earlier was nothing compared to this one and her pulse was racing. At the same time, she didn’t know what he was planning to do and it was making her just a little uncomfortable. The last thing she wanted was for him to have her in the car, thinking that she was easy and would put out. She had only ever kissed one boy, and that had been a fast peck on the lips. When he’d tried to pull her closer, she’d gotten spooked and ran away, hearing his laughter echoing behind her. Josh was two years older and more experienced than she was. She knew through talking to Nick that he had been dating a Junior at St. Peters for quite a while and could only imagine what they’d already done together. Christina still wasn’t ready for a serious physical relationship and she didn’t want to lead him on.

Josh didn’t go any further than lightly touching her arm. He loved the way she shivered at his touch, her body still trembling moments afterwards. She seemed to move in just a little closer and he took it to mean she wanted him to kiss her. Before he did, he made sure it was okay with her. "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Christina’s eyes opened wider and her breathing stopped for a moment. She averted her eyes almost guiltily and a frown tugged at her lips. "I ..." A thought that he was just trying to get her to sleep with him crossed her mind and she felt her stomach fall. He thought she was as easy as everyone said she was and was just like every other boy. Everything that she thought about him all night had been a lie and in that moment, she realized it hurt more than finding out that Nick wasn’t interested. Because here there was hope, hope and potential.

Josh could see that something was wrong and he feared he’d pushed too fast. He hated the disappointment and sadness that had crept into Christina’s eyes and he gently lifted her chin so that she was forced to look into his eyes. "What’s wrong?"

"You’re just like everyone else."

Josh was confused. "Pardon?"

"You took everyone home, are telling me all of these sweet things, making me like you and now that we’re alone, you want me to sleep with you. You think I’m easy and that I’ll just have sex with you." Christina looked miserable and it broke Josh’s heart.

"I didn’t say anything about sex," Josh’s voice cracked as he rushed to get his words out. How she had gotten from a kiss to sex was beyond him, but he definitely hadn’t been thinking about that. At least not now.

"Everyone thinks I’m a slut, that I’ll sleep with anyone. There are boys whose names I don’t even know who have told people I’ve slept with them. It’s all anyone wants." Christina was suffocating in the car and so she jumped out and rushed up the driveway towards her house. Josh was out of the car just as quickly and followed her up.

"Wait... That’s not what I wanted." When he finally caught up with her, Josh gently tugged on her arm so she wouldn’t leave. "Please, let me explain."

Christina stopped, she was going to hear him out. "What?"

"I just ...I just wanted to kiss you. That was it." He looked around nervously and realized that he was just as afraid of letting her know how he felt as she was. Natalie had really done a number on him and although Josh knew that they were two entirely different people, he was hesitant to get too close to someone. Especially to get close and trust them with his heart.

Christina searched his eyes for any sign of a lie and found none. He looked as embarrassed and disappointed as she did. That caused for her stomach to flip a few times. "Really?"

"Really. You thought I wanted to have sex with you? In the car?"

A blush covered Christina’s face and she shrugged sheepishly. "Wouldn’t be the first time someone gave me a ride home expecting more." She was shocked when Josh pulled her close and hugged her tightly. He inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo and cursed everyone who made her feel so ashamed of herself.

"Can I be honest with you?" Josh asked. When Christina looked up and nodded, he gave her an embarrassed smile. "I really don’t want my first time to be in a car. I pictured candles and flowers and satin sheets. Soft music playing and being so much in love that I know I’m going to marry the person I’m making love to."

Christina’s jaw dropped at Josh’s admission and her crush grew to full adoration. She saw the way the tips of his ears were tinted pink from embarrassment and she hugged him back, wanting to be as close to him as she could get. He was absolutely perfect, beautiful, and so much more than she could ever expect in a boyfriend, and although he wasn’t her boyfriend, she desperately wanted him to be. "That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard," she admitted.

"It’s so queer."

Christina shook her head. "No, it’s sweet. You’re sweet." She looked away, embarrassed to look into his eyes. "I’m sorry I thought..."

Josh silenced her. "No, you had every right. I’m sorry that you thought I was just trying to get sex from you." He caressed her jaw tenderly and softly pressed his lips to her forehead. "I think you’re beautiful, and I want to protect you from everyone that has hurt you."

"Thank you," Christina whispered against Josh’s chest. She looked up at him and in his gaze, in his arms felt a safety that she’d never felt before. He was making her feel all types of things she’d never felt before and it was all so exciting. She couldn’t help but run her fingers through his hair, bringing his face down to hers. "I want you to kiss me, but I don’t know how."

Josh’s lips curled into a grin and he closed the remaining distance between their faces so that their noses were brushing. "Have you ever kissed anyone before?"

She shook her head in embarrassment.

"Then how do you know you don’t know how?"

"I ...guess I don’t."

He pressed their mouths together in a gentle, tentative kiss. He kissed her sweetly, letting her set the pace. At first he could tell she was surprised and so he pulled back just a little. "Don’t forget to breathe..."

"I can’t," she admitted with a giggle. "My heart is racing."

"Good." Josh kissed her again, this time with more participation on her behalf. He felt her arms go around his neck and lifted her up so that he could deepen the kiss. When he felt her lips open just sightly, he licked at her mouth and pulled away.

Christina’s head was swimming and she felt lightheaded. She collapsed into Josh’s arms and much to her embarrassment, she couldn’t help but ask "..am I your girlfriend now?"

Her question caught him off guard and the innocence of it warmed his heart. He looked down at the awed expression on her face, the way her lips were still slightly parted and the tremble in her hands and kissed her forehead. She was giving him an unbelievable power with her question and he didn’t have to think twice about his answer. "Yes, I’d like to think so."

Christina opened her eyes and with a dazed grin said, "awesome."

"Do you want to maybe, go to a movie tomorrow night?" Josh asked. He couldn’t wait for AJ to call so he could tell him everything. He had a feeling that his best friend would be a little surprised at the turn of events, but Josh had always been someone who had every step of his life mapped out. Nothing was ever spontaneous. But as he held this fragile, beautiful angel in his arms, he realized that sometimes spontaneous was what he needed. And AJ would be happy for him, especially when he saw how happy Josh was.

The effects of Josh’s kisses lessened slightly and she felt the haze lift from her mind. Christina looked up at her boyfriend and grinned. "I’d love to." She reached into her bag for her journal and ripped off a page from the back. Writing down her phone number, she handed it to Josh. "Call me tomorrow."

He pressed his lips to hers in a soft, chaste kiss and chuckled at the whimper that resulted. "Night Christina."

"Good night, Josh."

It was when he was safely out of ears range and she could no longer hear his motor that she screamed loudly and ran into the house. She’d already gotten two phone calls from Britney with messages to call her IMMEDIATELY. She was barely in her room before she was already dialing the familiar numbers.

"Oh my god Brit," Christina shrieked excitedly. "You'll never guess what just happened."

End Chapter 20


Chapter 21 >