< Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Justin politely declined Lance’s invitation to join them to the movies that weekend. It had sounded like a lot of fun, and he’d really been wanting to go see Night of the Dead Mummies, but knowing that everyone would be there, and everyone included Nick, he pretended that he had something else to do and just stayed home to watch the game with his dad. It wasn’t fair that Nick had been the one to still hang out with everyone while he was forced to be on his own. He’d taken to hanging out with some of the members of the basketball team, and while they didn't mind him being there, they didn’t really talk to him all that much. From talking to AJ, Justin learned that Nick wasn’t always eating lunch in the Quad with him, Lance and Josh, but it was the mere fact that Nick knew he was welcome to at any time that bothered him. Justin probably could go too, but there was an awkwardness now that he and Nick weren’t really talking. He chose so they wouldn’t have to, because Justin wasn’t
 entirely sure they’d choose him.

The longer time passed, the more he pulled away and it had gotten to a point where he didn’t even look up in Science when Nick got there. He just accepted that Britney would be sitting with him and Nick was sitting with Christina.

The following Tuesday, Justin had a Varsity game at six thirty. He hadn’t spoken to Nick at all in over a week, and it had been longer since things had been relatively normal between them so he didn’t at all bother to ask if Nick wanted to come and watch. Once again, he was told at practice that he would be used as a sub if anyone needed a breather, which only worsened the foul mood that seemed to be plaguing him lately. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t care, that it was still awesome that he was on the team and now eating with them every day at lunch, but at the same time there was an emptiness in his heart that he couldn’t ignore.

On the bench, Justin had a lot of time to look up into the stands to see who had come to watch. He noticed Lance and AJ against the wall, books on their laps, pretending to do homework while watching the game. The crowd wasn’t as thick as it had been the first day, which gave them a little more room to maneuver. Justin had felt a pang of disappointment to see that they were alone, but it didn’t last long because as he roamed the crowd, he spotted Nick sitting with Christina and Britney mid court. They were cheering wildly and Justin wished for a moment that he could be up there, sitting with them and having fun. He briefly caught Nick’s eyes and noticed a sharp look of hurt there before the blonde looked away. Nick’s lips moved from a smile to a faint frown.

Nick had hoped that Justin would have been as focused on this game as he had been the first game, and thus wouldn’t have been looking too hard in the bleachers. He’d wanted to go unnoticed, but unfortunately, Justin had spotted him. His facial expression hadn’t changed, which Nick wasn’t sure whether it was a good sign or a bad one. Justin hadn’t looked angry to see him there, but he hadn’t seemed pleased either. He looked indifferent, which didn’t seem to be any indication to Nick that Justin cared. The moment the game was over, to avoid running into Justin, Nick told Britney and Christina he’d see them tomorrow and told them to let Lance and AJ know he had go get going. It was too late to do any work in the art room, as it had been long since locked up for the night, so he simply decided to get on the bus and go home.

Lance frowned when Christina informed him of Nick’s speedy exit from the game. He had wanted to talk to Nick for a few minutes before the blonde left, but now would have to settle for calling him later. "What are you doing now?" AJ asked. He slipped his books into his bag and stretched.

Lance and Christina had gone to the Report office before the game to put the finishing touches on their pages for the issue that would be out that week. Surprisingly, they had gotten so many submissions that the one page that Chris had asked Lance to fill had turned into three pages. Two pages alone had been messages, while the third had been filled with notices for want ads and people selling things. It appeared that his idea had been a bonifide success and Lance couldn’t have been happier. Neither of them could wait until that Friday when their hard work for the past week would finally be shown.

"I’ve gotta get home," Lance admitted with a frown. "Mama’s been going nuts because I'm never home anymore. She wanted me to get a life, but now that I have one she never sees me." He blushed at the way Britney, Christina and AJ all ‘awwwed’ sweetly at him.

The two girls said their good byes and took off in the direction of their lockers to grab their coats. Lance and AJ had brought their things with them to the gym. They headed out of the back doors of the gym and walked towards the bus stop just down the road. AJ thought about how much things had changed in the past few weeks and he paused for a moment. "When was the last time you spoke to Justin?"

Lance shook his head and shrugged. He couldn’t really remember. "I don’t know. He’s been avoiding me."

AJ nodded. "Me too. He’ll talk to me every once in a while, but it’s only a few words and he usually runs off immediately afterwards."

"Do you think it’s because of Nick?"

"I think he thinks we’re probably mad at him too," AJ stated with a frown. "He figures that since Nick is mad at him, and we’re always with Nick, that we’re mad at him too."

"But Nick’s not mad at him," Lance pointed out. "He’s mad at Nick."

"I think they’re mad at each other, although neither are sure why they’re mad. We should make it a point to let Justin know that even though he and Nick are fighting, we’re still his friends. I don’t want to be forced to choose between either of them, and although they’re not consciously making us do it, it feels like we are."

Lance loved how concerned AJ was for Nick and Justin’s well being, but he wished that they could talk about something other than the two of them for a while. He missed how they would talk about movies or music or pretty much anything else that the two of them had in common, but lately it seemed that their only topic of conversation was Nick and Justin. He sighed and only nodded his head. "Yeah. I’ll call Justin tonight."

AJ could tell that he’d done something to upset Lance and he frowned. "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing," Lance answered sharply. He didn’t want to get in a fight with AJ, especially when AJ had no idea what it was that he was frustrated about. He had been trying to send out signals to him that he was interested in him and hoped that AJ would finally make a move, but AJ hadn’t even noticed, which only further frustrated him. When he saw the confused expression on AJ’s face he sighed. "I’m just tired."

"Is that it?"

Lance nodded. "Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow." Lance rang the bell and got off the bus. His house was just a block away and it was his stop.

~*~*~*~

Justin had been surprised when the phone rang and his mother called up to his room to tell him that Lance was on the phone. He’d called to let him know that if he wanted, Justin should join him and AJ in the quad for lunch the next day. It had been far too long since they’d really gotten to talk to him and they really missed him. When he had been about to protest that he couldn’t join them, for the sole reason of course that Nick would probably be there, Lance assured him that Nick was going to be spending his lunch in the art room finalizing a painting that was going to be displayed in the Fresh Meat art cabinet.

Knowing that Lance and AJ wanted him there, plus that Nick would not be there, Justin humbly accepted. He hadn’t been enjoying eating with the basketball players and didn’t want to keep doing it, but had no other option. He didn’t want to eat alone in the cafeteria, and didn’t want to run the risk of seeing Nick and having his best friend hate him even more, so Justin continued to be miserable, eating in the Junior lounge, ignored by everyone he was sitting with.

Except for the absence of Nick, lunch that day had been just like old times and Justin felt wistful for the days when nothing was wrong and everyone was happy. Knowing that the freshman boys had a game that day at two, Justin was relieved that Nick wouldn’t be in science, and they had been given the opportunity to get out of class to go. He arranged to meet Josh, AJ and Lance just outside the gym before the game so that they could go in together and watch.

This time the positions were reversed, and as Nick had a break in between the first and second quarter, he looked up to the stands and was surprised to see Justin sitting there with Lance, AJ and Josh. A jolt of jealousy filled him before he pushed it away and focused on the game. Britney and Christina were sitting behind the guys and they both waved at him, causing him to blush, and them to giggle.

Justin stared intensely at Nick, unable to take his eyes off of him. He was trying to figure out why it was that he was mad at the blonde, but for the life of him couldn’t figure it out. Not that he would admit that to any of their friends, he wouldn’t, but Justin couldn’t help but wonder if he’d caused all of this trouble for nothing. It was obvious by the way Nick was playing that Justin’s gaze on him was distracting. He constantly had one eye on the ball, and one on the stands, continuously looking to see if Justin was still staring at him.

He was.

"Stop it," AJ’s voice was sharp and cold. Justin snapped out of the fog he was in and shook his head. He turned so that he could look AJ in the eye and was surprised to see the expression on the older boy’s face.

"What?"

"You’re being an ass for the sake of being an ass."

Justin looked at Lance who was frowning at him. He then turned to Nick who was blushing and embarrassed while the coach was heatedly talking to him, obviously not pleased with Nick’s performance. There was a moment of confusion before he finally asked, "what are you talking about?"

"You’re mad at him, we get it. You might even hate him, but if you’re just going to punish him for whatever he’s done, don’t do it when you’re with us."

Justin frowned and looked at Lance for help. It was Christina who leaned down and tapped him on the shoulder. She was the only one who was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he really did have no idea what he was doing. "You’re just sitting there and staring at him with this murderous look on your face. I think I even heard you growling. It’s freaking him out and he keeps traveling or fouling people because he’s tripping over the other players or running into them. He keeps looking up here to see if you’re still staring at him."

Justin hadn’t realized how intense his gaze had been and blushed as he looked down at his feet. "I didn’t realize..."

"How much you’re hurting him?" Christina finished for him. Her tone was sharp and her eyes sharper. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for this situation, but in general his attitude had really started to annoy her.

"Maybe I’m hurt too," Justin argued back.

"Maybe ya’ll should talk about it then." Britney suggested with the snap of her gum. "Because this is, like, really getting out of control."

It was amazing how much everyone knew about what was going on without Justin having to say a word. And if he knew Nick as well as he knew he did, Nick probably hadn’t said anything to any of them either. He would have liked to paint Nick as the bad guy, rallying to turn their friends against him, but he couldn’t, because Nick was probably one of the nicest, most honest and genuinely caring people Justin knew.


"Oh, I see. It’s time for everyone to gang up on me." Justin felt as though he was being attacked, but it was mostly embarrassment at how he’d just caused for Nick to be benched. The blonde was watching him with a scowl on his face and Justin wanted nothing more than to go and apologize. He wouldn’t though because his pride was standing in the way and he was still slightly upset with him.

"We’re not ganging up on you," Lance sighed for the millionth time that day. He was quickly getting sick of the dramatics and for just once wanted to get through something without it being a tragedy in the making. It was time that something was about anything other than the two of them, but before he could continue, Justin stood up quickly.

"No, obviously I’m not wanted here. By you or him, so I’m going to do you all a favour and leave."

"That’s not what we want," AJ pleaded softly. "We just ...don’t understand what happened. It’s been over a week since you guys have talked and no one knows why you’re fighting. We don’t know how to help you if neither of you will let us."

"You can’t help us," Justin admitted coldly. "Maybe I just don’t want to be helped." He looked at the shocked expressions of the four teens sitting in front of him and felt instantly sorry for the harsh tone with which he’d said it. It wasn’t true, he did want help. But he just didn’t know what they could do to help him, or even how to go about finding it out. He knew that in leaving he was only pushing his friends farther away, especially when he needed them most, but that knowledge didn’t deter him. Instead of staying to talk, Justin coolly walked down the seats of the bleachers and slipped out the gym’s side door. He’d gotten used to pretending that everything was okay. Not only was he lying to everyone around him, he was lying to himself. Justin couldn’t remember ever being so angry in his life, but at the same time, he had never remembered being so lonely and sad. The last thing he did before disappearing into the hall was look at Nick, who was glaring at him angrily, a look of
 satisfaction on his face at Justin’s departure. That was the final straw and Justin kicked the door open and left the gym, feeling more alone than he ever thought he could.

Nick watched as Justin stormed from the gym. He’d been benched for the rest of the game and the Coach had said if he wanted to, he could go back to the locker room to cool down. He hadn’t thought he needed to, but now, feeling the rage fill him once more, he knew exactly what he needed to do. He got up and discreetly told the Coach that he was going to the locker room. He received a glare in response but it was accompanied with a sharp nod.

"Hey. Wait up!" Nick called down the hall. Instead of going to the locker room, he’d followed Justin out into the hall. He had a few things to say to him.

"What do you want?!" Justin spat. He turned around quickly, his face a mask of anger.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing’s wrong with me. It’s you."

Nick glared at Justin, unable to believe that the blame was being put on him. "Excuse me? I’m not the one with the problem. Ever since basketball..."

"I don’t want to talk about basketball, all right. Especially not with you, Mr. I’m the captain and I’m better than everyone else."

Nick’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. "Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?"

"It means you think you’re better than everyone because you’re the captain. Well, excuse me, you couldn’t even make the Varsity Team. You're on the freshman team Nick, no one cares about your dumb team or the fact that you’re the captain of the rejects." Justin knew that he was being mean and petty, but he didn’t care. He needed Nick to hurt as much as he was hurting right now, and judging from the expression on Nick’s face, he was succeeding. He thought it would feel better than it did, but Justin figured that it was the adrenaline, and when he finally calmed down, it would make him feel better.

"You know, ever since you made Varsity you’ve been different. You say I think I’m better, well I think it’s the other way around. You haven’t spoken to me since you made the team, you lie and say you have practice, but it’s just so you don’t have to eat with us and you can eat with the other basketball players. I never would have turned on you if I had have made it and you didn’t. I wouldn’t care."

"Well, you didn’t make it. You weren’t good enough. And now I heard that you will make Varsity next year just because you're the captain this year. You don’t even have to try out. I bet that’s why you said yes, so you know they won’t cut you again."

"If you’re trying to make me hate you," Nick said with a sneer. "You’re doing a damn good job of it."

"Good!" Justin was dying inside, but he wouldn’t let Nick see that. He simply put on a brave face and smiled.

Nothing else was said as Nick turned on his heel and stomped down the hall towards the locker rooms. Justin was left alone in the hall, stunned and ashamed of himself. His anger overrode everything though and he simply headed towards his locker. He screamed and jumped a foot in the air when he walked directly into someone upon turning the corner.

"You know..."

Justin looked up, surprised to see Kevin Richardson looming over where he’d fallen. Kevin helped him up and Justin dusted off his jeans angrily.

"...you were wrong about one thing."

There was a curious expression on Justin’s face, and he wanted to know more but wasn’t going to ask. Thankfully Kevin wasn’t finished.

"He’ll be trying out for Varsity next year like everyone else."

"But I heard ...people were talking and saying that the Freshman Captain always makes the team."

Kevin nodded. "He does. Nick said no. He wants to make the team like everyone else. He wants to deserve to be on the team."

That knowledge only further angered Justin and he rolled his eyes in disgust. "Oh, just another reason why he’s such a saint. Nick Carter is perfect. Nick Carter can do no wrong. God, we’re all nothing compared to him."

"You don’t really feel that way. You’re just angry."

Justin gave Kevin an odd look. The senior was too calm, too matter of fact, and before Justin could wonder what it was, he realized it was indifference. Their problems were probably nothing compared to what Kevin was dealing with as a senior. He was worried about scholarships and college admissions, not about petty fights that had to do with jealousy and bitterness. Justin felt really young and immature standing next to Kevin. He gave the older teen a half smile and shrug.

"Whatever. Like you care."

It was Kevin’s turn to roll his eyes. "Exactly, I don’t." He walked off in the opposite direction, leaving Justin to wonder how the hell things got so out of control and how worse they could get.

~*~*~*~

Thursday was tense for everyone, especially Nick whose mood was swinging every few minutes. He’d been told on Wednesday at the game that if he couldn’t leave all of his issues in the locker room, then he shouldn’t be on the court. After trying to explain that it wasn’t his fault, Coach Griffiths said that he should be able to tune everything except the game out of his mind and that his playing on Wednesday had been the most disappointing and embarrassing thing he’d ever seen in all of his years coaching high school basketball. Nick’s only consolation was that after the verbal lashing he’d gotten, Craig Lyons had come into the locker room and sat down on the bench next to him.

"You can’t take everything he says personally."

Nick was trying not to cry, but the weight of everything that had been happening was pressing down on him. "How?"

"Just keep in mind that he’s here to push you to do your best. It’s not the last time you’ll hear him use that speech." Nick raised an eyebrow and Craig nodded. "The second you hear him giving it to someone else for how they’ve messed up in a game you’ll understand. You think that’s the worst playing he’s ever seen? He’s been playing for a long time, and don’t get me wrong, that was just horrible out there today, but there’s been worse. I’ve seen worse, so he must have had to. Just don’t let it get to you. You didn’t foul out. You didn’t give anyone a concussion or any broken bones and you didn’t rip off your jersey and throw it in the ref’s face."

Despite his mood, Nick had laughed. The simple action made him feel just a little bit better. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

"So get changed and don’t sweat it kid."

Justin had been nowhere to be found and for the third day in a row, Nick found an extra lunch in his locker before science. Since Justin was obviously not going to be joining them any time soon while he was eating lunch in the quad, Nick had given Lance his locker combination and asked him to bring his lunch with him to the quad. When they got back that day, Lance finally asked the question that had been on his mind all week.

"Why do you still bring two lunches?" He held his breath as Nick’s whole body went rigid. There was an uncomfortable silence between them and Lance was afraid Nick was going to cry. Surprisingly, Nick looked at him with no trace of emotion on his face.

"Two reasons," Nick said. He grabbed his pencil case and books out of his locker and shut the door. "One, my mom doesn’t know that Justin doesn’t like me anymore. She loves him so I don’t have the heart to tell her that he doesn’t want to be my friend. And second, just because we’re not speaking, doesn’t mean he might not need a lunch one day. If he forgets it one day, or gets hungry, he knows my schedule so he can just go by when he knows I won’t be there and he’ll have lunch."

Lance couldn’t believe that Nick hadn’t told his parents about what had been going on with him and Justin. For sure, he’d have thought that the first day Nick would have said something, in hopes that his mother would talk to Justin’s mother and they would get to the bottom of things. It seemed like he didn’t know Nick as well as he thought he did. And for him to still care about whether or not Justin was eating was astounding.

"What are you doing tonight?" Nick asked casually.

"I can’t do anything," Lance admitted. "The next issue of the Report is out tomorrow and we’ve got to get the issues printed off and then distributed."

"Where did you want to meet?" A feminine voice said from behind Nick. Both boys turned around to see Christina standing there, smiling broadly at them. When Nick flashed her a confused smile she blushed. "I’ve been helping Lance with his new column, and he said that if they get more people to help on the night before it comes out, they won’t have to be here until forever."

"Did you need help?" Nick asked Lance. "I mean, I’ve got work to do in the art room, but you don’t start putting them in lockers until later right?"

Lance shrugged. "Yeah. The last time it was worse because we didn’t have the software running, right. But we can always use help."

"Yeah, I’m here anyways. So come by when you need me."

"Well, Chris said we’d be doing last minute stuff and then take a break at five thirty or something for dinner, and then back by six when everything has been printed off."

"We’ll talk more about it before last period," Christina said with a tug to Nick’s sleeve. "We’re going to be late for class."

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly and before Nick knew it, he was back in the art room, working on his newest piece. He had slipped a CD in the stereo and had the music softly playing throughout the room. He’d been painting for almost an hour when there was a noise behind him and someone appeared in the door. Nick’s concentration was broken and he looked up, shocked to see how much time had passed. It couldn't be Lance or Christina since they’d told him they’d be by at about five thirty, it was barely four thirty.

"You busy?" It was Joey Fatone, and he was looking at Nick warmly. Nick couldn’t help but look around, to make sure that the junior was talking to him. That caused for Joey to laugh and nod his head. "Yeah, I’m talking to you."

"Uhhh, why?"

"I wanted to know if you had a few minutes, I’ve got something to talk to you about."

Nick had no clue as to what Joey Fatone possibly would have to talk to him about. He gave a shrug, set his paint brush in the cleaning solution so as not to damage or ruin the bristles with the quickly drying paint and he pushed his hair out of his face. "Sure."

Joey pulled up a bench and sat down at the next easel which was empty. It was AJ’s seat in class and for a moment, Nick’d mind wandered to his friend and the fact that they hadn’t *really* talked in forever. He shook his head and focused on Joey and the fact that he was staring at him oddly. "You okay?" Joey asked with concern.

"Yeah, fine. Just got a lot of things on my mind, what can I help you with?" For the first time ever, Nick didn’t blush when speaking to Joey. He knew in the back of his mind that it was one of Kevin’s friends, but his crush on Kevin seemed so insignificant when he had much bigger issues pressing in his mind. And after all of the rumours he’d been hearing that Gretchen and Kevin were back together and hotter than ever, he couldn’t seem to bring himself to care so much. Or at least that was what he was telling himself.

"I’ve seen a lot of your stuff," Joey admitted as he pointed towards Nick’s newest piece. I was in Fresh Meat Lane the other day and saw the cabinet with the new work displayed. Yours is there, front and center. And then I saw it that day I was in here looking for the paint, so I got to thinking."

Nick nodded politely. He wondered where Joey was going to go with this. "Thanks."

"You’re welcome. So I got to thinking and was hoping maybe you’d like to come and give us a hand with set design for the play this year."

Nick was confused, by his calculations, they should be almost done set design and onto construction. When he voiced his observation, Joey scowled.

"We should be almost done construction as well, but the person in charge of design decided that it was just taking up too much of his time, so he didn’t do anything, and now it’s the end of November almost and we’ve got nothing. We need as many people as we can get if we’re going to get this thing done by April, right, so I came in to talk to Mrs. Edwards. I asked if I could see some of your stuff and we got to talking, and I suggested you help us out. If you want."

Nick felt excitement pool in his stomach. That would be really cool, working on the set design, but at the same time, he was already finding that he was having difficulty balancing everything. Of course, the fact that he’d been fighting with Justin was affecting his productivity level, but with basketball, classes and his portfolio, he was already pretty busy. "I don’t know," Nick shook his head. "I’m already so busy, and one more thing..."

"Well," Joey said quickly before Nick could turn him down. "I talked to Mrs. Edwards and she said that this could go towards your final mark, as well as be used for your entrance in art next year. We’re using the senior art class to help us out, but I mentioned how good your stuff was."

"Did you see AJ’s too?" Nick asked. Truthfully, AJ’s was just as good as his, if not better. Joey nodded.

"Actually, I did. She’s going to talk to him tomorrow. Instead of being here for classes, you’d just come and work on the set. The person who’s now in charge of design has a free period when you have art, so you’ll go in and spend that period there. You won’t have to complete any more in class assignments, this will be your in class assignment."

"What happens if we’re not done by the time the semester is over?" Nick asked. "What happens then?"

"Don’t worry about it," Joey assured the blonde. "You’ll get your marks. We wouldn’t mess with that." Joey looked at his watch and jumped at the time. "Oh damn, I’m late. Just think about it, please. It would be really great if you could help us out."

Nick nodded, he would at least think about it. It sounded like fun and something that he would love to do. Painting took his mind off of everything, and lately he needed something that could do just that.

End Chapter 18


Chapter 19 >