< Chapter 11

Chapter 12

When Nick arrived at school on Friday morning, AJ, Lance and Justin were all waiting for him at his locker, anxious smiles on their faces. He’d whined all morning to have his parents drop him off before taking the kids to school, but they had insisted that the basketball list would still be there when he got to school at his usual time and to stop whining or else he wouldn’t be able to play much of anything by the time they were done with him. Nick silently cursed them from the back seat while everyone took a million times longer than necessary because they knew he was in a hurry to get to school. Finally though, Lincoln High came into view and Nick practically jumped out of the car before Jane had a chance to fully stop.

"Bye mom, see you tonight!" Nick called as he raced up the front steps.

"Be outside at three fifteen sharp Nickolas Gene! We’ll leave you behind if you’re not here."

It was an empty threat as Nick knew his parents wouldn’t dare leave without him. Not only would he throw a super sized tantrum, but his grandparents would never forgive them. But they knew he wouldn’t be late for anything, as he’d been so excited all week to be able to go and see them. Nick had raced through the halls until his friends all came into view.

"Josh would be here, but he’s at co-op. We’re supposed to phone him and leave a message at the office for him, either way," AJ announced with a nervous smile.

Nick nodded and licked his lips which were suddenly dry. His pulse was racing and it had nothing to do with the fact that he’d just ran as fast as he could to get there. He threw his bag into his locker and hung his jacket up before slamming the door shut.

"Come on ...lets go see who made the team."

"Don’t you want to wait for..." Lance nodded in the direction that Kevin always came. He was surprised when Nick shook his head.

‘I’ll see him between first and second period as I’m going to the gym and he’s on his way to Calculus. This is more important!" Nick ignored the shock looks his friends gave him as he walked through the halls towards the gymnasium on shaking legs. He was just as nervous to see Justin’s name on the list as he was to find his own.

There was a small crowd around the posted list, which all dispersed as soon as the group of four arrived.

"I can’t believe it," one muttered as he pounded the wall and stomped away angrily. Nick recognized the boy from practice the night before and held his breath. Obviously, he hadn’t made it and he’d been pretty good. Nick couldn’t even begin to imagine how they’d gone about picking the four players.

"You ready?" Justin whispered softly. Nick nodded as they exchanged a nervous glance.

"On three.." Nick said.

"One."

"Two..."

"Three!"

Nick’s eyes quickly scanned the sheet of paper, recognizing a few names. His pulse began to race as he hit the bottom of the list. One name in particular stood out that made him gasp loudly. "Timberlake, Justin."

He’d started at the top, as he was used to doing with his last name starting at C. Knowing Justin, he’d started at the bottom and hadn’t gotten past his own name, which was the second from the bottom. Justin had made the team. Nick had not. He tried to stop the butterflies in his stomach as he turned around to look at Justin who was jumping up and down excitedly. Nick couldn’t contain his own excitement at Justin’s good fortune and started jumping up and down with him.

"I... I can’t believe it..." Justin whispered in awe. He turned to face Nick and started to scream. "ARGH!"

Nick’s disappointment was pushed to the back as he focused solely on Justin and the fact that he’d been the first freshman to make the varsity team in Lincoln High history. Lance and AJ were watching a few feet away and he scrunched up his nose and subtly shook his head to let them know that he hadn’t made it. He saw their faces fall and forced himself to look away, the pity in their eyes was too much for him to bear at the moment. He honestly hadn’t thought it would hurt this much in not making the team, as he had truly believed it wouldn’t be that big a deal. But now, knowing that Justin was going to be on the team and he wasn’t, pierced his heart just a little.

"It’s going to be so awesome," Nick gushed. "Congratulations, J."

Justin looked deep into Nick’s eyes and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much Nicky. I ..." He took a deep breath and sighed. "This team is so going to rock. Congratulations to you too Nicky, isn’t it going to be awesome? Both of us... Varsity basketball." Justin was so excited at seeing his name on the list that he missed the way Nick’s face fell."

Nick inhaled sharply, covering the sound with a cough. His face went red and he felt his eyes burn from the tears that were pricking the corners. "Oh, darn. I should have ...grabbed ...math first period. I ...congratulations J, you’re awesome. See you ...bye." And with that, Nick bolted down the hall in the direction of his locker before anyone could stop him.

Lance looked at AJ sadly, knowing that it was going to be hard if one made it and the other didn’t. He had to admit though, Nick took it much better than he would have. He knew for certain that Nick was genuinely happy for Justin, but it had to have hurt that Justin automatically assumed that he’d made the team without even checking first. Lance had watched Nick’s shoulders slump as his finger went down the list of names and could tell exactly the second when Nick realized he hadn’t made the team. His finger had gone down, and then back up a few more names as if checking to make sure he hadn’t missed it. The list was in alphabetical order, so Nick would have been close to the top. But instead of saying anything, he continued to check the names, looking to see if Justin’s hand been there, which of course had. Justin’s finger had started at the bottom and stopped after only two names. He hadn’t even looked at the rest of the list. That made Lance slightly angry on Nick’s behalf, and
 Justin’s slip up only furthered the insult.

Justin bounced over to AJ and Lance who were talking softly. "Congratulations man," AJ said loudly as he clapped Justin on the back.

"Thanks!" Justin was beaming, he’d never been so happy as he was in that minute. The only thing darkening the moment was how fast Nick had disappeared. "I wonder what was wrong with Nick." Justin frowned as he looked down the hall which Nick had disappeared to.

"Uhhh..." Lance and AJ exchanged glances, neither knowing what to say.

"I mean, he should be happy. We made the team!" Justin exclaimed, pounding his fist into the air. "First freshmen ever!"

"Did you by any chance..." Lance started to ask. "...look at the whole list?"

Justin shrugged as he looked over his shoulder at the paper. "Nah, no need. I only care that two names are on that paper, mine and Nick’s. And you saw how happy he was, so he must have made it." Justin grinned at Lance and AJ who looked very uncomfortable. They were avoiding looking directly at him at all costs and he felt his stomach churn sickly. He thought back to a few moments earlier and recalled vividly Nick’s excitement, how he’d been jumping up and down and screaming. That had to have meant he made the team. At least Justin thought so. "What?"

"N ..nothing!" AJ stuttered. "I ...gotta go. See you at lunch." AJ flashed Lance an apologetic smile and dashed down the hall until he was out of sight. He definitely would have to talk to the blonde in art during third period to see how he was coping with the disappointment.

Justin started to tremble as he stared intensely at Lance. "Why is everyone so weird right now?" Justin knew it had to be something he missed, and so he slowly turned around to walk back to the wall where the list was. He looked up and this time, started at the top. "Andrews, Corey. Burrows, David. Byrne, Matthew. Dunne, Greg. Justin stopped reading and to Lance’s surprise, followed Nick’s actions earlier exactly. He shook his head and started from the top, following the list down except going straight to the bottom without stopping. Justin’s shoulders slumped and he leaned against the wall in disappointment. "Shit."

Lance had expected Nick to be upset about not making the team, but he hadn’t expected Justin to be so upset about it as well. The moment Justin turned around, Lance could see the pain and remorse in his eyes and was shocked at the depth of emotion there. "There has to be a mistake," Justin said shaking his head. "There has to be."

"I ...don’t think there is." Lance said as the bell started to ring. He would have to rush if he wanted to make it on time. He would be getting a late slip, because there was no way he was leaving Justin now. "Sorry!"

"We were BOTH supposed to make it," Justin said mostly to himself. "That was the plan."

"Congratulations fresh meat," Craig said proudly. "You proved me wrong, which never happens." Upon seeing the look on Justin’s face, Craig came in closer and put his hand on the freshman’s shoulder. "What’s wrong?"

"There’s a mistake. On the list." Justin pointed to the team list, just to make sure Craig knew what he was talking about. Craig looked it over before shaking his head.

"Nope, that’s the team."

"But ...it’s missing a name. It’s missing Nick’s name. He should be on the team too."

Craig smiled affectionately at Justin before speaking. "Nick was good, don’t get me wrong Justin. But ...we didn’t have enough room for him. He would have been our next choice, but ...he’s just not ready for varsity this year. A year of freshman basketball will get him ready for varsity next year. If he’s still interested in trying out there’s no way he won’t make the team."

"But ....we were both supposed to make it!" Justin argued. Craig only smiled sympathetically at him.

"Sorry Justin, he didn’t. Not this year anyways. Now, we have a team meeting after school today for about fifteen minutes, just to give out the practice and game schedule. We’ll give out more information then."

Justin nodded dumbly, all excitement that he’d made the team was wiped out with the knowledge that Nick had not. He couldn’t wipe the sad look in Nick’s eyes out of his memory as he’d said congratulations to him, assuming that he’d made the team. "I’m horrible," Justin whispered out loud. He was surprised when Lance pulled him into a hug.


"No you’re not. And he’s so happy for you. Don’t be upset.."

"Did you see the look on his face?"

Lance nodded. "Yes, but he saw the look on your face, and he’s happy for you. Don’t worry about it. You know he wouldn’t do anything to ruin this for you."

Justin frowned as he pulled away from Lance. He had to get to class, get away for a while to think everything over. Although they had discussed what would happen if one made it and one didn’t a million times, never in his wildest dreams had Justin even thought it would happen for real. He should have been more prepared for it and for a moment, wished it had been Nick’s name on the list instead of his. That thought passed and he just wished they were both on the team. "Come on, we’re late for first period. We better get to the office for late slips." He didn’t want to have to think about the team or basketball or the fact that they weren’t going to be on the team together like they’d been planning for their whole lives. Justin didn’t want to have to think about any of that.

~*~*~*~*~

"Mr. Carter?" His phys ed. teacher’s voice boomed through the gym, startling Nick. He had just come out of the locker rooms, which he’d gotten to late so he could avoid having to talk to Lance about what had happened earlier.

"Uhhh ...yes?"

"Mr. Griffiths would like to speak with you please. You can find him in his office." Nick didn’t move and his teacher stared at him, obviously unimpressed. "Today Mr. Carter."

"Should I change?" Nick asked, tugging on his tee shirt nervously. He had no idea what Mr. Griffiths could possibly want to say to him. The absence of his name on the list pretty much spoke for itself.

"No. You shouldn’t be that long."

Nick nodded and slowly walked through the gym towards the exit that lead to the inner offices of the Phys. Ed. Department. He found the door that had a name plate for Mr. Griffiths and knocked lightly. His nerves were working overtime and he jumped when a gruff ‘Yeah!’ was called from within.

"H...hello?" Nick said softly. "You asked to see me?"

"Who is it?" The door was half open but Nick didn’t care to poke his head in. "Get in here if I've asked to see you." Mr. Griffiths looked up and saw Nick standing before him, ghost white and shaking like a leaf. His demeanor changed instantly and his scowl turned into a welcoming grin. "Oh, Carter. Sorry, I’ve just been having a hell of a morning. Don’t worry, I won’t bite."

"I ...he said ....to come see you." Nick fidgeted with the hem of his tee shirt, trying to avoid looking at the Coach who was smiling at him. He couldn’t figure out why he would be so happy to see him, especially knowing Nick would be upset about not making the team.

"Have a seat Carter."

Nick sat down on the edge of the chair. He looked as though the slightest noise would cause him to bolt out of the office like a rocket. "Yes, sir."

"I’m guessing you’ve seen the Varsity team list." The expression on Nick’s face was more than enough proof that he had seen it. "You didn’t make the team, son."

Nick couldn’t help but scowl as he let out the breath he’d been holding. It was one thing to not make the team, but he didn’t know why this was necessary. As angry as he was, as frustrated that his embarrassment and torture didn’t seem to be over, he had been taught to always be polite and respect authority so Nick pasted a smile on his face and shrugged. "I figured that out when I didn’t see my name on the list."

Coach Griffiths did nothing to conceal the laughter that was threatening. He noticed that it only worsened Nick’s mood, although despite himself, the kid was doing his best to be nice.

"I’m sorry sir, but did you just call me in here to make fun of me? Because, if so ...I’m missing gym and I was really looking forward to playing volleyball today." The tone of Nick’s voice caused for Coach Griffiths to stop laughing for a moment, his face a mask of shock. As quickly as the laughter stopped, it started again which made Nick so angry he stood up and nearly left.

"No.. Carter, hold on. I’m sorry. I didn’t ....I didn’t bring you in here for this."

"Then what is it? Just for kicks?"

"I wanted to tell you why you didn’t make the team, and tell you what I was thinking we could do. What my plan of action is."

Nick cocked his head to the side. He rest his hand on the doorknob, he didn’t leave, but didn’t fully reenter the office. "I’m listening."

"Please Nick, come and sit down. I promise it will be worth your time."

Resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to get out of listening to whatever Coach Griffiths had to say, he nodded and reentered the office. He sat back down in the seat he’d just vacated and folded his hands in his lap. He made no move to speak, only listen.

"It’s been a while since I’ve had anyone surprise me out on the courts Nick. I’m serious, in this profession, you see a lot of kids come and go and after a while, they all tend to blend into one another. Faces ..names ...it’s all the same after a while. It isn’t often that I’m wowed. And Nick, you’ve wowed me."

"Not enough to put me on the team," Nick muttered under his breath. He blushed as Coach Griffiths raised an eyebrow and promptly shut his mouth.

"Did you not hear anything the boys said at try outs on Wednesday? You can’t take it personally. Maybe the problem isn’t you, maybe it’s us."

"Is it you?" Nick asked hopefully. He frowned when Coach Griffiths shook his head.

"No, it’s you. But ...it’s not a problem so much as poor timing. We have four positions available for the team this year. Not five, not six. Not making this team isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t mean you don’t belong on the team, because I truly believe you do belong on this team, but .." He tried to think of the right words he was trying to say, wanting to make Nick understand where he was going with this. "But it’s not the right time."

Nick didn’t say anything. He simply listened, trying not to feel bitter for the turn of events that morning.

"You and Justin ...you have no idea how rare it is to find kids in grade nine that have the level of skill you have. You both ran circles around most of the guys out on the courts this week, and I’m not just talking about the other kids who were trying out, but boys who are already on the team."

"If I'm so good, why didn’t I make it?" Nick asked, genuinely curious. The coach had been dancing around the issue, but hadn’t come right out to say anything.

"You need more confidence, you need to learn when to pass off and when to take the shot. As good as your game is, it’s also sloppy, untrained. You play well, but aren’t taking the game or yourself seriously. It looked from where I was standing, that you’re playing the game more for fun than to win."

"That is how I play. I like to win, but I’m not going to let that push over the fact that I just love to play. All I want to do is be out there, have a good time and let off some steam."

"Which is a great way to look at it. I’ve seen kids take the game so seriously that it clouds everything else in their life. Looking at each game as a ‘must win or else’ is dangerous because it takes away the heart and soul of the game. You’ve got that heart and soul Nick, it’s clear to anyone watching you, but you need to mix that with the desire to improve. To be out there and not just have a good time, but be the best player out there and play to win."

Nick glanced at his watch and saw that he probably wouldn’t be making it back to gym that morning. "You said you wanted to talk about a game plan?"

Coach Griffiths rustled the sheets of paper on his desk and cleared his throat. "Exactly, which furthers what I was just discussing with you." He pulled a piece of paper with random scribbles on it and smiled. "Are you interested in the freshman team? I’ve decided to coach that team as well. Usually Coach Appleton is in charge, but he’s been doing a lot of other extra-curriculars and I’ve picked up the freshman boys basketball."

Nick gave a shrug, he hadn’t thought about anything beyond the fact that he hadn’t made Varsity. He had been saying that if he didn’t make varsity he would go out for freshman basketball, but right now he didn’t want to think about anything. He wanted the day to be over, his mom and dad to pick him and up and go to his grandma’s and not have to think about school or basketball until Monday morning. "Yeah... I’d been thinking about it. Why?"

"Well, since I’m coaching both, I'm going to start having them run similar practices and have the varsity team work with the freshman team. This will be a chance for you to better your game, as well as your leadership skills. I think that your main focus point is your confidence, which when you’ve got that handled, you’ll be unstoppable."

"You’re talking like I’m on the team. Freshman try outs don’t start until next week."

Coach Griffiths flashed Nick a sly smile and raised one eyebrow. "Well," he said coyly. "This is where it’s who you know and not what you know."

Nick couldn’t help but find himself intrigued. He leaned forward to hear what the coach had to say.

"Usually ...we hold try outs and the first few weeks are spent practicing and playing pre season games ...like scrimmages. It’s during that period that we see whose skill level is where and assign a captain. This will be the first year that we’ve had a captain before a team. I can’t imagine this team without you, and if you’re interested, I’d really like you to agree to be on the team."

"Be on the team? As the captain?" Nick asked meekly. He had to have misunderstood what was being offered to him. This had to be a joke..

"Yes, as captain."

"Is this for real? Like you’re not doing this because you feel bad cutting me right?"

Coach Griffiths let out a loud laugh, startling Nick who gave a nervous laugh. "No. Heavens no Nick. I’m not doing this to placate you. I’ve never offered deals to kids before to make them feel better about not making the cut and I'm not about to start now. Believe me when I say I am one hundred percent serious with this. This team needs you as much as you need it, not to mention that the captain of the freshman varsity gets an automatic seat on the Varsity team."

Nick frowned, he didn’t like the sound of that. "So I wouldn’t have to try out next year?"

Coach Griffiths shook his head. "Nope, you’d be on the team."

"That hardly seems fair. What if I suck next year? What if my game gets worse?"

"You know Nick, no one has ever brought that up before. They’ve always been so happy at the free ride onto the Varsity team that they never think twice. This is why I like you Carter, you’re the real deal. You are about the basketball, the heart and soul of the game, not the glory."

Nick couldn’t help but beam at the compliment. "Thank you. But I’m serious. I want to make Varsity on my own merits, not because it’s owed to me."

"Then you can try out like the rest of the kids," Coach Griffiths promised. "But let me tell you, it would take a miracle for you to play bad enough that they wouldn’t take you. You have no idea how long it took us to narrow the list down from five to four."

"What.." Nick asked softly. It was a question he’d had on his mind all morning and now, was going to ask it. "What was the final decision? Why me?"

Coach Griffiths rubbed his eyes tiredly and sighed. "Do you really want to know?"

Nick nodded.

"Honestly, you need the court time. You need to have time every game to work on your weaker points. On Varsity, you would barely play a fraction of the time you’ll get to play on the Freshman team. I convinced the boys that you would get to play more and it would be more beneficial to put you on the other team for a year. Give you the practice in games and then when you’re on Varsity next year, you’ll pretty much be running the show. You and Timberlake."

At the mention of Justin’s name, Nick grinned. "He’s good eh!"

"Phenomenal. Eerily so," Coach Griffith’s agreed.

"He’s the best player I know. He’s going to be Michael Jordan one day." Nick was surprised to receive a head shake as a response.

"Nah, he’ll be bigger than Jordan," Coach Griffiths predicted. "The way he walked out onto that court like he owned it, not afraid of anyone. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do that and mean it."

"I know."

"So, you’ll think about it? I will need to know by next week when we start try outs for the team. And like I said, captain's role is yours if you want it."

Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His lips curled into a smile and he felt the remaining bit of sadness leave his body. "Can I answer now?"

"Only if it’s yes," Coach Griffiths teased.

"Good, then yes. I just wanna play, I don’t care what team it’s on."

"That’s the exact type of attitude this team needs Nick. You won’t regret this, and thank you for handling things as maturely as you have. I had an idea that you would be okay, but you never know. I’ve seen kids older than you throw fits when they haven’t made the team, blaming everyone else but themselves for them not making the team. It’s always those times that I wonder why I put myself through this torture, but then I sit here, facing what could be one of Lincoln High’s future star athletes and I remember why it is I’m here."

Nick stood up. He was going to have to rush back to the gym and change to make it to art on time. He flashed the man sitting before him a wry grin, "You know Coach Griffiths," he started. "I’ve already agreed to play, you don’t have to keep buttering me up." Nick received a laugh in response.

"Get going wise ass."

Nick had to find Justin. He’d gone to his best friend’s locker between gym and art, but Justin was nowhere to be found. Talking to Justin would have to wait until lunch because his break was almost over and he had to get to Art.

End Chapter 12


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