Title: Crush Author: Jules Pairing: Nick/Kevin Part:1/1 Rating:PG 13 for Language Feedback:Is sweet like chocolate - mailto:slash_me_baby@yahoo.com Disclaimer: Fiction for entertainment purposes only. I don't own them, nor do I know them. Not making any money so don't be freaking out on me! Notes:Yes, I know Nick is 22 right now. But this takes place later... like sometime next year later. No specific time, just not right now, so thus, he is 23. You'll see what I mean. Crush by Jules He wonders if it's normal, these feelings he has. His palms get sweaty. His pulse accelerates. His groin tightens. That's the most obvious and embarrassing one, just because it's not as easy to hide. When his breath hitches, he can blame it on the air, it's too dry ...or humid ...or whatever. When his voice waivers slightly, he can pretend that he's got something stuck in it, or he's choking on the invisible candy he's been sucking on. They don't have to know that it's because of ...HIM. The one person that seems to have him turned inside out, like a schoolboy experiencing his first crush. Well he's not a schoolbo y, and he sure as fuck doesn't have crushes. Or at least he didn't until ...well, HE came into the picture. And it wasn't as if he hasn't been in the picture for the past 10 years. He's always been there, just never so ... noticeable. So ever present. So desirable. Kevin had always prided himself on control. Achieving it and maintaining it. Someone had to be the mature one. The reliable one. The strong one. And because he was the oldest, they automatically had assumed it was him. His parents had. Lou had. Even the other guys' parents had. It was just handed to him with a smile and a nod of their head. "You're the oldest Kevin, so you have to look out for them. They're just kids. Especially Al ex and Nicky. And so it was decided. When he was truly honest with himself, he admitted how he loved it though. Being the one that everyone depended on. The big brother of the group. There were times when it was annoying and frustrating, but the sense of pride when he watched his little brothers succeed overrode those emotions and with each day passed, each milestone celebrated, Kevin's sense of family and love grew deeper. Too deep. Too confusing and too deep, which brought him back to the issue at hand. This ... this ...crush. He wasn't even sure if crush could adequately describe it. It was perhaps an infatuation. Obsession. Longing. All for one person. One completely frustrating ...annoying ... exasperating individual. The least likely person that he ever thought he would entertain such feelings for. Nick. Carter. Kevin's breath hitched as the blonde in question entered the room, disc man on high, moving his body to the music only he could hear. His blonde hair was styled as though he'd just fallen out of bed, his tanned skin glowing. Their eyes met and Kevin blushed, averting his eyes. If he wasn't careful, Nick would know what he was thinking about. That he was currently picturing how else he could make Nick's skin glow, making the blonde smile like he'd never smiled before. It was now a common occurrence with him, constantly entertaining erotic thoughts about his youngest band mate, the one who he'd coaxed through puberty. It was he who helped Nick through one of the most difficult periods of his life s o far, growing up in front of the world and working hard to be who he was. What he was. He, Kevin Richardson was responsible for Nick's maturity from a gawky 13 year old boy to the 23 year old man he was now. And damned if he didn't do a fucking fantastic job of it. He was a victim of his own creation. Fallen in ...whatever this was ..with Nick. He broke out of his daze to see blue eyes watching him curiously, a half smile on his plush lips. Nick's head was cocked to the side, as if contemplating something serious. When their eyes met again, the half smile turned into one of Nick's famous grins and Kevin couldn't help but smile with him. He felt something pass between them and his heart speed up double time. Rubbing his palms against his jeans, he realized they were a little sweatier than they had been just a few moments ago. Before Nick entered the room. They sat in their respective seats, staring at one another, neither gaze wavering. It was like they were having a conversation with their eyes, but nothing being said exactly. As if they were testing the waters, and Kevin,

		for the first time since this crush had surfaced, wondered if maybe, just maybe he wasn't the only one. It was hard to determine how much time passed, as Kevin was lost in the moment with Nick, but eventually the others joined them, each taking their seats in the room. It was the first interview that they would be doing as a group since the supposed break up. Since Nick went solo and did his own thing. And there they all were, in the big room together waiting for the reporter to come in and start the interview. But he and Nick were still locked in an intense gaze, matching smiles decorating their lips. Kevin was vaguely aware that the interview started and they began to answer questions. They were typical questions that they had been expecting and so he didn't pay much attention to them. Until a piece of paper was passed to him, discreetly placed on his lap. It was folded up neatly, like girls would do in elementary school, and had his name on it. For Kevin's eyes only. Except that instead of the word EYES, it was a drawing of a pair of eyes. Shaded with green ink. He looked down the row of guys to see Nick smirking down at him and Kevin knew it was from him. He'd passed it down the whole line, to Howie, to AJ to Brian and finally to him, the reporter barely even noticing it. They'd grown used to passing notes during interviews, and thus had long since been pros at it. Slowly, he unfolded the paper and opened it, laying it on his lap. Nothing could stop the cheesy grin that covered his face at the words printed there in Nick's signature lettering. Do you like me? Check one box. And underneath were two boxes; one marked Yes the other No. His eyes jumped back up to see Nick blushing, biting his lower lip nervously. His lips were curved into a tiny grin that no one else seemed to notice. Kevin felt the butterflies in his stomach, the way his pulse was racing. He checked one box and refolded the paper, nudging Brian again. His cousin took the paper and passed it back down the line to end up at Nick. He could picture Nick opening the sheet of paper and revealing his answer. He could just have moved his eyes from the reporter back to Nick, but he didn't want to be too obvious. Instead he tried to focus on the questions, listening to Howie answer something about acting and possibly pursuing an opportunity on television or movies. When he felt Brian slip a piece of paper on his lap again, he jumped, barely even realizing that Nick had responded. It was the same piece of paper, this time a heart next to Kevin's name on the front. It was shaded with red ink and Kevin had to fight back a giggle. The excitement was coursing through his veins and as much as he wanted to open it up to find what Nick had written, he was afraid. Nervous. Anxious. He closed his eyes and unfolded the paper. Taking a deep breath, his eyelids fluttered open and he looked down, feeling Nick's eyes trained on him. Cool. ;)I like you too. He couldn't hold back the laughter that threatened, ignoring the strange looks that the reporter was giving him. Relief flooded through his body and he silently thanked whoever it was that was responsible. His eyes moved to Nick who was smiling just as wide, his cheeks slightly pink. They were the only ones in the room that understood, and that was fine with Kevin. As their eyes locked, a million emotions passed between them and one thought filled Kevin's mind. He was right, he didn't get crushes. This was so much more.