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"partied much?"
"Mind your own fucking business will you?"
"You see, I have a strong feeling you're more upset about yourself then on me, so why don't you spill it, huh?
Just tell me..."
"Why, cause you're gonna bullshit me next about how you care? C'mon Kev, I've been through better acts!"
Nick grabbed the drinks from the table, heading for the bar for a re-fill.
"Its not an act, okay? I'm just concerned about you. Something is defiantly "UP" with you. You're acting really
weird lately."
"You can just go ahead and say it Kevin..." he sat down on the chair, facing Kevin, "its about my coming out,
admitting I'm gay"
"I don't mind you being gay! Why the fuck you keep bringing that up? It seems to brother you more than
anyone else does. What? You ashamed of it or something?" Kevin got up and walked towards Nick, "Were
you ever with a man? Or was its just your daily "thing" to say that your gay just to get a little attention?" he
looked him right in the eyes.
"Fuck you Kevin! I don't have to justify myself to you. I AM gay. I know it. No I was never with a man, but I know.
Go stick your nose someplace else, will you?" he looked away, couldn't bare Kevin's penetrating gaze.
Kevin got a little closer, turning Nick's face to make him look at him. "You're right you don't owe me anything...
I'm just asking. You came out all "brave" saying you're gay. I was just wondering if there's anything behind that
statement"
"Kev I just told you, I never fucked a guy, okay?" he looked deep into Kevin's eyes, "what else do you want?"
Sighing, Kevin sat down next to Nick, "nothing, I just wonder, if you weren't with guy, how can you be so
sure. I mean when I.. I ... I..." he couldn't seem to finish that sentence.
"You... fucked... a guy?" Nick said slowly. "For real?"
"No... no..." he released a fake laugh, which immediately faded, "well, yeah..." he leaned back on the chair,
signing again, "awhile ago... but yeah I did"
"Oh wow. I had no idea-" he couldn't finish that sentence when Kevin's voice interrupted.
"And no one else will have an "idea", you got THAT?"
"Cool off, will you? Don't worry I won't say a thing..." there was a moment of silence until he spoke again, "how
was it?"
"WHAT?"
"Fine... fine... I was just asking, geez"
"Look," Kevin got up, "just leave it, okay? Forget I ever said anything... it was in the past, I just wanted to see
how it is to be with a man... to tell you the truth I was very disappointed"
"Why?"
"Cause I had this "vision" of how things should be, you know? But then when it happened, it turned out
nothing like it. Anyways, don't forget sound check at 3pm, okay?" without another word, he walked out of the
room.
Throwing his head back, Nick sighed. Just leave it. Yeah, right. Like an image of Kevin with a man was
something he can leave behind. Damn he was suddenly feeling hot. It wasn't the first time he thought of
Kevin that way, in a sexual way. He may have been with many girls in the past but he knew for that sure he was
gay. It started couple of years back, when he caught Kevin and one of his midnight swims. Just when he was
about to step from the shadows, he noticed that Kevin was naked. Nick stood paralyzed, watching Kevin.
Every rip of his body, every move he made. He couldn't remember much but the thought that way running
through his head, "He looks like a freaking God". Oh yeah... that and the hard on of his life.
Ever since then, he couldn't look at Kevin the same. He always felt bad and ashamed for thinking about him
while he was jerking himself off in the bed, in the shower, everywhere. But it never got serious. Up until a
night when he was just about to have this beautiful girl in his bed and all he thought about was the older guy.
He couldn't touch anyone else, didn't want anyone else. But he wasn't gonna say anything.
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